Forgive, Never Forget ( journal #42)

When was the last time that you were forgiven for something or that you forgave somebody who'd wronged you?

* The last time I forgave somebody would probably have to be the time my mother told my very religious family that I was Agnostic against my wishes. I had specifically asked her to keep it to herself, my family is a straight christian family. It's the Jesus way or no way, everything must be done by the bible, Christ is the only way. I asked her to keep my new found discovery on the downlow until I was more comfortable and more open with my decision. I wasn't yet ready to face the barrage of questions, insults, and disappointing vibes I knew were coming my way. My mom urged me to say something she said, "give them some credit, that's your family Naihema they'll love you regardless." Reluctant, I didn't listen, I didn't want them to know. My mom somehow managed to slip it in at a family cookout. Everybody was laughing joking and talking catching up, and then somehow the conversation switched, the focus was on the children. How we were doing in school, how our personal life was going, and my mom just Let it slip. I didn't speak to her for weeks , and my family didn't speak to me for weeks. I was an outcast. They didn't see it my way, they were dissapointed, I even earn I few of my grandmother tears that night. To this day they still don't believe I'm agnostic. I put on an act, during family gatherings when they all say grace, I stand in the circle and bow my head, but my eyes are open, and I entertain my grandmothers Easter Sunday plans, and I listen to my Aunt drawn out church stories, but I eventually forgave my mother, she's done worse & i still love her.

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