Homework

I just get home and I have to do homework now. I hate that. There are so many things I would rather do when I get home. If I try to go upstairs right now, sit down, and do my homework, I won’t get it done. I always leave homework for the last minute. I stress myself out that way. The feeling of having something, an assignment hanging over my head almost makes me nauseous. Sometimes I wish I could just be nauseous and throw up already. I could just get it over with. How to get rid of this feeling, this stressed out, nervous, almost nauseous feeling seems obvious. I could stop talking about how tough it is to do my work, stop complaining and just get it done. That’s what I try to do. I try to come at my work with so much tenacity and motivation that I just get it done. Why doesn’t that work? Maybe it’s because I’m just not that motivated. Sometimes, when I enjoy what I’m doing, I’m really motivated. That’s when I get things done. But I hate my homework. What If I just get motivated? I can pretend I’m not doing my homework. I can treat it like I’m destroying my homework. Not doing it would just be giving up, surrendering. Homework is always gonna be there if I ignore it. If I do my homework, it’s no longer homework. It’s not something I have to interact with anymore. That’s how I’ll do it. So, that’s how I start my homework. How do I keep with it? What I mean is, how do I not get distracted. I realize this is getting kind of ridiculous. I mean, “How do I do this? How do I do that?”. Just answer this last question. How do I stay on track? Turn off the television, stop listening to music, get off Facebook. I trudge through my homework. I get it done. I don’t feel nauseous anymore. I’m not nervous. Now I can do whatever I want. That might seem so basic to you. I get that. Maybe it just comes naturally to you and this whole time you though “Are you kidding me? It’s not that hard. Just do it.” It’s hard for me. It’s not excruciating, it’s not torture, but it’s hard and now that I’m done, I’m really relieved.

Comments