It was a dry windy morning in Wisconsin. Eggs, bacon, and the smell
of blueberry pancakes rose through the cracks under the door, up to my
nose. I woke up one minute before my alarm went off because of the very
temping aroma. “Good morning folks, time to rise and shine and jam
with the top 25 hit pop songs…” were the first words I heard as I
clumsily arose out of my bed. I could hear mom’s singing to the tunes
that were playing on the same radio station. I walked downstairs to the
kitchen to see mom and her new hubby dancing like the cool kids in
Grease to Britney Spears 35th hit song. When my mom noticed I was
standing there she ran over and kissed on the forehead and I began to sing
and dance with my mom and Jack.
Beep, Beep, Beep, I slapped the snooze
button once again. And there was no smell of eggs, bacon, or blueberry
pancakes rising through my door and into my nose, only the smell of old
cigarettes and whiskey. I’d been having the same dream for the past
year, hoping it would become my reality. Though I know it never would.
I headed downstairs to see my mom passed out on the couch. “Mom, momma,
wake up, it’s 8:00, it’s time for you pills.” I pushed and pushed until
“Why you always gotta wake me up this early, huh!?” Momma
snapped back. The only thing that faces her was my burning red cheek.
This had been such routine that I only felt numb, both physically and
mentally, and the walls didn’t seem to spin anymore, guess they’ve
gotten use to it too. “Momma, take your pills.”
“I don’t won’t to!”
time she breathed in my face allowing her raspy voice to force the
putrid smell of day old whiskey, beer, and henisy up my nostrils.
Dismissing her outburst I go into the kitchen and grab bread and
medicine out of the half broken cabinet and walked back towards her.
She tried to sit up on her own but couldn’t, so I sat next to her so
she can rest her body on me. “Eat this.” She grabbed the bread and
gobbled it down in seconds. “Take this” she shoved the pill in her
mouth and I hold up a cup of water to her mouth to wash it down. She
swallowed with resistance. She stared at me blankly and slurred “This
will be you pretty soon, yup, a low-life nothing, your already stupid,
what else are you going do? Go to college HA!” She busted out in a
“Yea, momma, yea” Tears almost formed in my eyes,
but instead of crying I just kissed her on the forehead and said I love
you. Then tore off the a label from an old water bottle from on top of
our grand piano, and simply wrote goodbye. I walked out the front door
and never looked back.