Catism By Brycen Itzko

“ I welcome all of you to the Rodents. Our goal is to destroy the evil of the Lolcat cult that has taken over our world. 7 years ago, cats suddenly gain intelligence from pictures of Lolcats. Shortly after, a cult had begun to worship these new self-aware cats and forced all who opposed the cult to make cheeseburgers. When the cats looked at the pictures and saw the pictures of the other cats, they slowly began to learn how to read. This made cats able to read signs and other things. Cats then began to think of themselves as more than just a cat but a higher species. Through the years cats became so self-aware that cats were able to solve math problems and think of ideas that would eventually change the world. Now some people saw this as a sign that cats should rule instead of humans, cats supremacy. Other people saw it has a threat to humans and thought of it as an abomination. Eventually the people who thought cats should rule the world created a cult that would in time become a religion. The religion spread faster than wildfire and soon more than three - fourths of world’s population was converted. The small portion of humans that went against this religion moved to Russia in order to escape the religion. There was peace for a time until a human killed a cat with his car. This started what was know as the Cat Fights and these wars lasted for several months due to many of the cats dying from the cold.

The war seemed to be on the humans side until the cats decided that enough was enough. The cats fired three nuclear missiles at Russia. Since Russia already had several nuclear weapons there, the explosion turned Russia into a no man’s land. The remaining human population fled to a secure location in France but had to stay hidden from the Cats. the religion  adopted a new named and called themselves Catism. The Catismist forced the other humans to make cheeseburgers for them. The remaining human population in France created a rebellion against Catism. “


“This is where we stand today”, said Swiss.


This is where I come in, my name’s Bobby Lue and I am one of the newest recruits of Rodents. I born into the cheeseburger slavery and was separated from my parents at the age of 5. I worked the cheeseburger factories until I was 14. I was losing hope until Rodents came in and raided the factory. They found me and recruited me on the spot to join the cause. I went through 3 months of training before I was officially deemed a recruit. It was a hard 3 months, but at the end of it I was able to overcome any obstacle that was put in front of me.  Now I am here with my friend Possum who looks very nervous but anxious at the same time. Possum has been with me since I could remember, the factory workers found him as a baby laying in a cart of buns. Since no one could claim him as their own, he was put to work and name Possum since he looked dead when they first saw him. Now we both made it through the training and stand here in front of our leader Swiss who has just reached the end of his speech.


“Oh, I almost forgot,there will be an special mission tomorrow and the goal of this mission is to capture a cat alive”, Swiss said.


*(Due to issues with writing and time, this story is not complete)*

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