Mom: Wanna come in the store to get a snack?
Me: Sure, I'm kind of hungry.
Mom: You got a dollar *mom look*
Walks into store
Me: I really want some plain lays chips. Picks up chips 50 cents. ARE YOU SERIOUS? This is ridiculous.
Mom: Yup.
Me: I remember I could get 4 bags for a dollar, times are really changing.

Even though I am only about to hit 18, it really feel as though things are changing around me. Or maybe I am just starting to notice them now. I guess this is the time when we all start realizing we are actually adults...who would have thought a bag of Lays could show me so much?

Which school should I choose. I've always wanted to go to Penn State but after thinking I wouldn't be accepted because of my SAT's scores, I thought that Hampton was where I wanted to be. Surprisingly though, I received my first college acceptance letter from Penn State. That acceptance letter slowly changed my mindset back into "Penn State Mode." Hampton is still an option but everyday it's looking like I will choose Penn State. Time is ticking. 

would you rap on my video if i made one?

of course!

and dance? (not that kinda dance. Like diddy dance.)

naw I wont diddy dance for nothing 

lol no? 

like mo money mo problems. harmless stuff!

nope. I just sit in a chair and rap

a queen chair? a throne?

nope just a regular old chair. maybe I'll even sit on the step.

oh you cant be in my video no more. you too cool...

I spent most of my saturday with a friend. A good friend that I have come to know better and better throughout these last couple weeks. We chilled for most of the day before I decided that I wanted to leave and get my night started. All week I told some friends from school that I would not be attending their hotel party. Knowing that I would surprise them, I decided to show up and party later on that night when I was done spending the day with my friend. It took me forever to get to the hotel because SEPTA runs super slow on the weekends. I was so cold waiting for the bus to come that I thought I might end up going back in the house. Fortunately as I was just ready to walk back to my house, the bus came around the corner. When I got off the bus, i got on the worst train ride I've ever taken. I smelled poop on the train, and sadly it was a homeless man that carried the smell with him because when he exited the train two stops before mines, the smell exited with him. I was relieved to finally not have to hold my breathe for minutes at a time. When my train ride was over, i walked from 15th street at City Hall to 11th and arch. It was so cold outside that I was shivering from head to toe. When I finally reached 11th and arch, I stood in front of the Hilton Garden Inn. I walked in, took the elevator to the 7th floor and walked to room 701. Already with my jacket and hoodie off, I heard Mckelly's loud mouth through the door. I was laughing as I knocked on the door. "Who is it?" asked Amira. "It me, Tajh," I replied. The door opened, "Brooooooo," screamed Amira with a smile on her face. I was ready for an exciting night. 

I know a place where the grass is really greener,
There are no clouds to block the shining of the sun,
And no city buildings to block the lights of millions of stars;
It's in your arms; It's home.

For a while I moved through life seemingly happy
With fits of laughter, possibly hinting at hysteria.
I watch you walk by, your soul shining, with anger in my eyes
And a flirtatious giggle aimed at the
Insignificant creatures surrounding me.

You see this and I must be the perfect little actress
Because I fooled you into thinking I was euphoric
When in reality I was barely okay,
I even fooled myself into thinking I was over you.

But you're the true actor.
Your performance is flawless.
Where my act was given away by pain in my eyes
Yours remained empty, like your voice and heart.
If not for your indirect messages of maybe love and regret
I'd believe every sign of hate you throw my way.

Tell me the truth.
If you show no one else your true colors, show them to me.
Maybe we can both live where the grass is greener,
The sun shines without clouds,
The stars shine in the depths of both our eyes,
And we'll finally be home.​

I don't remember where I was walking that day as I left out of the school's doors. Was I going to 30th street? Maybe Liberty Place...not sure which, but it was one of those two. It wasn't cold I know that for I can picture myself being bundled up in one of my many jackets but being a bit warm. Not sure if there was wind but there was a chill. I remember clearly though walking beside my best friend Evett chatting about something that seemed to be of the most importance. We walked together chatting passing the parking lot then heading under the first bridge. It had either snowed or rained before for there where icicles hanging down varying in sizes. Some were breaking, some dripping but I payed them no mind.

 We fished walking from under the one bride then were under the next. Across the street we heard one fall and looked over. It was quiet loud but we brushed it off and kept talking. One of us cracked a joke about something and began laughing. We were almost out from under the bridge. What happened next I remembered clearly. I suddenly felt strength tugging me backwards. My eyes were opened wide in shock then I looked over my shoulder as Zach cheerily said hi. Before I got any words out I heard a loud close by crack. I looked back to the spot where I was about to step before Zach stopped me. A giant icicle (and by giant I mean it had be be almost a 4th my size or so) snapped and quickly fell with force into the spot where I would have been. It was like time slowed a bit as I watched it break, the pieces of ice spraying out. In my head I thought of how scary it was that fell, how hurt I would have been if it hit me and how glad I was Zach did something really goofy.

Laying in the hotel my room I took a look at my phone noticed 8 o'clock was quickly approaching. I yelled to my friend "Is everything done?"
She quickly responded with "Yup"
I asked "Who is coming because this room is small?"
Shortly after  while waiting for a response there was a knock at door. I rubbed my hands together anxiously and said "we got room service" in a jokingly manner.
 I got up and looked through the peep hole to my surprise and uninvited guy was at our door who watched us walk to the room from the pool. We could clearly see he was under the influence while he struggled to get out the words " Ya'll having a party?"
We said "no" and slammed the door.
While walking back to my bed my friend said "he obviously isn't coming."

I meant to post this on Feb 11th

When I was younger and naive my father gave me words of advice that lately have been swarming around in my mind.

He said, "When ever you feel like passing judgment on someone just recall that some people haven't had the opportunities and advantages you've had in life."

He didn't elaborate on the subject but I've been thinking there was more to what he said then what I thought when he told me all those years ago. Because of this I'm prepared to set aside my judgments. A mind that isn't "normal" will see this quality and remove itself from it. I recall that in the University I attended I was judge of having the character of a politician, merely because of my knowledge and insight into topics others didn't understand or know.

I love these Saturday nights home alone just sitting around watching Cops reruns eating what ever the hell I want. My parents left a few minutes ago for my Grandmothers house to eat dinner. I guess I should have left with them instead of being selfish but I can't pass up a few hours of peace and quiet. I grabbed my laptop and walked down the steps to the living room, planning what was up for the night on my way down. I put my stuff down and paused, I forgot for a second what I was going to do next but then I spun around looking for the remote. I always found it irritating that all the furniture in my house was either brown or black, always making it difficult to find the black remote, the black cell phone, especially trying to find my black glasses which always turns into a scavenger hunt.  Looking for your glasses while basically seeing indiscernible blobs of blur all around you tends to get annoying after the first few minutes. " Ah, there's the remote!" I grabbed it quickly trying to get the TV on because the ominous silence was getting to me. I could be such a woos sometimes. After going through  200 channels disappointed I realized nothing was on TV. I remembered I missed the latest episode of Jersey Shore, so I clicked on OnDemand and searched for the show. I sat down, grabbed my snacks, and opened my computer to go on iChat. I heard the back door open and I stopped chewing my food to listen closely. I heard the sound of my parents voice and my little sisters arguing, but they weren't suppose to come back so early. My good mood fell into the put on my stomach and I raced to put the food away since I wasn't allowed to eat in the living room; one of my moms many rules. The door opened all the way and the muffled voices became more clear and ear piercing. So much for a fun night alone.

So basically my weekend was full of wonderfulness. I cleaned on Friday ( well attempted to), and relaxed with my mom. Saturday was all about Justin Bieber. My favorite cousin asked me to go and see his movie with her and all I could think was, I better not say no. This thought came to mind because I knew that this was all about quality time and I knew she wanted me to go. Now, I never was a big fan of him but sitting there listening to him sing changed my mind. I was nodding my head and jamming to his music. It was nice because it was in 3D and I was laughing so hard because my cousin knew every single song that he was singing. The song that I like the most is this one below