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Setbacks of being bilingual.

“Hey Doctor…”

“Hey! Let’s see… How did you sprain your ankle?”

“Well I was walking and I, I like… Do you know when you are like…?’’

“When you are like what?”

              He remained quiet while I searched my mind as if it was a dictionary. I struggled trying to figure out the words that could’ve described how I sprained my ankle.

“Like walking… and then you feel like you’re about to fall? What’s another word for that?”

 “Stumble?”
“ Oh yes! That thing…”

            This happens to me almost everyday. When I’m supposed to explain something or even talk, I always struggle with some words. Considering the fact that I was born and raised in Puerto Rico, which is a Spanish-speaking country, I think it’s normal for me to have some difficulties with my English, but after a while, it has become annoying. Everybody says it’s good to speak two fluent languages, and that might be true. However, being bilingual also has its setbacks. When you are used to speak only one language and then you have to speak the other, it becomes confusing. It feels so different speaking a foreign language and personally, that creates frustration inside me.

 

“So how was your day?”

“ Oh, it was so…”

             I have it. I have the word right in my mind, but in Spanish. When this happens, all I can do is wait and check if there is any word in English that could mean the same thing as the word I am thinking about. If I can’t think of something, I just say the word in Spanish.

“It was so brutal!”

“Brutal? What does that mean?”

“Oh sorry, brutal means like… awesome or something like that.”

“Oh! That’s good!”

                Every time that happens, I sound like an uneducated girl who does not know what she is talking about. I look like I do not care about what we are talking about. This affects every single day of my life. I hate how a simple conversation can turn into a really awkward moment when someone asks me something and I do not know how to translate the words into English, so I end up saying the word in Spanish. I try my hardest to speak completely in English, but it is so difficult.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                         

                I have those two languages in my head, but mixed. Some words in English with words in Spanish. All mixed up in my head, crossing each other and coming out of my mouth when I don not know how to say the same word in the other language. This leads me to confusion. It’s frustrating when you want to explain something to one person and you can’t find the words to describe it, or they just come to my head but in the opposite language. Especially when you want to be as detailed as possible. That’s why most of the times I just say the first word that crosses my mind, even if it’s not the correct one or even close to that.

               In an essay I read by Richard Rodriguez, he was telling a story similar to mine. He once said: ‘’my words could not stretch far enough to form complete thoughts.’’ This totally describes my daily struggles with English. Every time I try to say something in English, I think in Spanish. When that happens, I try to act like I forgot the word, and just give a brief description or some clues until the other person figures out what the exact word is, but I get tired of that. I am tired of the Spanish getting in the way on almost every conversation I have. I want to speak freely and fluently. Without searching my brain’s ''dictionary/translator'', without thinking that I have to be really careful on what I say and how I pronounce it, and without trying to fake my accent. All that so I can sound normal and seem like I know what I’m saying.

               There is a point where you feel that you shouldn’t even speak. I did not feel it until it was the time to speak in front of everyone. The moment when everyone is expecting you to say some words, and you just cannot find them. That’s what makes me want to run, and hide from everyone.

                  I am tired of sounding like an uneducated person in front of everyone. I hate the fact that I cannot express my self in English as well and as much as I can in Spanish. I feel like I am trapped. I do feel like I cannot express my self anymore. It is so frustrating.

                  Everyone says it is ''okay'' to struggle a little bit with another language. I am still getting used to this language, so I kind of understand my frustration. All I hope is that I can improve by the time, and speak as fluently, as fast, and as freely as I would like to.

 

 

 

Julian Makarechi

 Español 4

 

 

La Paz

         Esto es el primer mural de mi vida creado para la comunidad de Filadelfia. Yo decidí ubicar ese fabuloso mural en 24 y Locust porque hay apenas colores aquí. Es un pequeño lugar donde todos pasan, pero es muy aburrido. Donde vivo es muy divertido; hay muchas personas que son simpáticas y gentiles. En cualquier momento puedes andar en la ciudad para hacer compras, (put 1 or 2 more examples) Por eso me gusta mi barrio tanto. Hay mucha historia en mi cuidad; hay la campana de libertad, Benjamin Franklin y la familia Rittenhouse. La mayoría de los habitantes en mi barrio son blancos y no son muy jóvenes.

 

        Yo pienso que cada mural tiene que haber un fondo, un imagen o persona, y una cita. Para el fondo, debo elegir un color que represente mi comunidad. Debo escoger una persona que es un figura significativa quien tiene valores. Y finalmente necesita una cita que tiene un mensaje importante para la comunidad. Yo decidí que mis colores de fundo serán azul, rojo y verde. Azul y rojo están muy simbólicos para la nación, y son patrióticos. Elegí el verde porque en mi comunidad, el reciclaje es muy importante. Los temas de mi mural son que todos deben admirar las personas que están muy valiente en su ciudad.‘GO GREEN’ también es un tema del mural. La cita que yo elegí es : “Piensa antes de hablar”. Eso es lo que todo el mundo debe hacer exactamente como hicieron todos las figuras significativas.

 

    Para mi, el papel del arte publico es que es una manera de expresar algo en tu barrio, con que no todos esta de acuerdo con. El propósito de los  murales es pros crear, etapas para reunir una comunidad en paz. Pienso que mi mural cumple el papel de arte publico, porque tiene todo los credenciales. Tiene el emoción y potencial por cambiar una cuidad. Mi mural es arte definitivamente, no es graffiti ni vandalismo. Se muestra que puedo expresar mi opinión y carácter en forma de arte. El arte es una manera de alejarse de cosas en tu vida y solamente tener diversión. Cada obra de arte cuenta una historia como mi mural. Yo pienso que mi mural es muy creativo con todos los colores diferentes. Eso mural tiene muy diversidad. Eso demuestra mi habilidades artísticos. La parte preferido de mi mural es el collage para la cita. Estoy orgulloso de mi mural.

 

http://dw4.convertfiles.com/files/0140643001326381081/marisol%20quarter%202%20benchmark.avi

http://dw4.convertfiles.com/files/0589451001326380775/new%20project%201%20-%20medium.mov

http://dw4.convertfiles.com/files/0545776001326381820/spanish%20interview.avi

http://dl.dropbox.com/u/12821524/Spanish%202nd%20Benchmark/Spanish%20Benchmark.m4v

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When starting this project i thought it would be hard to wright. As Mr. Block began explaining to us more the information about the project it begin to make more since. We also watched a documentary on different people and how they feel about others languages and accents. It was cool to hear how outsiders felt about the language i spoke. we also read many stories about different people and the things they went through coping with there languages. to successfully complete this project i had to think about the way i speak to my family, friends, teachers and others. 

From the very moment you were born you began to learn your language. that first voice you hear begins to click in your head. For me when I was brought into this world i was brought into what some would call an standard English family. Of course there is a time when things change for everyone. As i began to meet new people and other family members from different parts of the World, my language would change up. Yes, i speak English and only English but different types of it, therefore i cant describe a specific language for myself.

http://dl.dropbox.com/u/12880110/blocklanguage%27%20-%20Medium%201%202.m4v

Mi video de mi entriviesta es aquí

Matthew Hamilton

1/4/12

Quarter 2 English Benchmark

Who am I Talking To?

      Recently, I went to dinner with my dad and four of his friends. We ate at a funky, ethnic restaurant. Once we had ordered they started to ask me some questions about school and life in general.

 “Everything is good, school is… well, school.” I said slowly and clearly.

 I went on to discuss in more detail some of my experiences with High School. We started to talk about how schools used to be different when they were growing up. Most of them had gone to Catholic school, due to the fact that the public schools in their neighborhoods were really bad, while regular private schools were unaffordable.

 “My family was middle class. Everyone in my family went to Catholic school. Everyone in my neighborhood went to Catholic school. I wasn’t really aware of other types of schools.” One of my dad’s friend’s, Tim, stated.

 “I went to grade school with kids from all over Philadelphia and then when it was time for High School we are scattered again to different schools” I said. “No one goes to their neighborhood schools anymore, Catholic, public or private.”

     We began to talk about similarities and differences in our schools. For the most part they looked at me as though they were genuinely interested in what I had to offer to the conversation.

 “ The nuns really did not care what we learned, they were more interested in how we looked, and sounded ... and smacking us with rulers.” Dad’s friend Roger said.

 I laughed, and said how I could not imagine learning that way. By the end of the night we were all talking together about many different things.  

     I was observing the way in which I was talking with my father’s friends, and how it was so different from the way I talk with my own friends. With my dad’s friends my sentences are shorter and more succinct. When I talk with my friends I tend to not think as much before speaking. I’m more relaxed when talking with my friends, however unlike my experience talking to my dad’s friends, they never look at me like they think I’m smart or incredibly interesting.

     I can’t remember exactly when I started to be more comfortable conversing with adults, not just answering questions that were asked of me, but really conversing.  I believe that it started sometime around 8^th grade. Before that, I didn’t actually think that adults cared about what I had to say. I believed they were just being polite when they asked me questions. I would mumble answers, or just look uncomfortable and hope someone would fill in the blanks for me.

     Similar to the story “Hunger of Memory” by Richard Rodriguez, Rodriguez was afraid to speak in class because he wasn’t confident of his abilities and didn’t want to sound foolish. I think I also didn’t feel confident or capable. But at a certain point I started to believe that adults were taking what I had to say seriously. Applying to High Schools was that turning point. I had many great conversations with teachers and the parents of my friends. They helped me look at my interests and listened to what I had to say and supported me in formulating my ideas for the next 4 years of my life. Writing essays and interviewing also helped me to get a voice into who I was, how I could communicate and what I had to offer. I learned a lot during this process, but mostly I learned how to talk to different people and not be afraid that they would think I was an idiot. This was an exciting time for me and one that gave me some confidence. Rodriguez had a lack of language skills and was afraid of looking stupid. He got better by practicing. I think I’ve also gotten better by practicing.

      I enjoy conversations with people my age, but also with older people that challenge my thinking and my opinions. Adults respond differently to my language abilities, and to me. Some expect a certain level of language and vocabulary from me, while others have no expectations and are pleasantly surprised to be able to talk with a fifteen year old.