Life of Abuse

Mom’s home tonight is the night I tell her my pain. (Uh oh) she has company I cannot believe my eyes when he enters. How dare he smile in my face and pretend like he isn’t a monster? How am I supposed to talk to my mom now?  my night is going to be terrible I can feel it.

Hey baby girl, dad says to me. What do you want? just leave me alone!!! I say to him. You know I cannot do that he says. In that moment I feel him taking blows at me and I just lay there silently crying. I think to myself this is so awful how he can take advantage of me like that.  I don’t know how much more I can handle. I hate this man he is a monster.

When she came home, I said Mom!! I’m so glad you're home we need to talk. Before she speaks to me I see this monster once again. Why is he back in my home? I notice my mom is hiding her finger and she is silent. Mom why are you hiding your ring finger. She says to me I’m getting married your father proposed. I burst out you can’t marry him no no !!!!!!!. Why would she say yes, now the abuse will never stop.Mom says Lauren why are you being so dramatic? I say to her it does not matter anymore mom. I knew he would win. Everyday I wake up and see a new bruise on my body. I cover them up so nobody can ask questions . Often times I wonder if I am really strong enough to put up with this abuse.

I´ll never forget the night when he first abused me. It was on a friday night when my father lost his job. He came inside the house and immediately started drinking. It was one bottle after another. Soon I realized he was drunk and it was not safe to be around him. I ran to my room and minutes later he entered my room and locked the door behind him.I was scared so I remained quiet while he inched closer and closer to me.  

When he was directly in front of me, he slapped me across the face  so hard there was a red mark afterwards. Then I yelled stop, desperately hoping that he would leave me alone. Unfortunately, I was wrong instead he just kept beating me until he wasn't. I have been dealing with abuse for 15 years.

Finally, I realized he enjoyed beating me. I started to think I was his personal punching bag.  In reality looking at my bruises made me believe it. What kind of father was ok with beating his child out of anger. I gave up trying to put a stop to my pain. After a while I hoped my mother would notice my pain and help me…..

Now I’ve gotten away from all of them. My room is the only place I feel safe. I cannot believe her. I should've known she wouldn’t believe me. For several years,