My Sister

My little sister was born on May 26th, 2012 in Hong Kong. It was a moment in my life where everything changed because I was no longer an only child. This was very hard for me to grasp because I would no longer be the center of attention and I was very used to that. When I heard that my dad and my stepmom were expecting a baby, the thought of being forgotten was the only thing on my mind until she was born. As terrible as it sounds, I was not happy at all that my dad was having another child. On top of everything I was not on good terms with my stepmom, because it always felt like she was keeping me away from my dad. But when my sister was born everything changed, like a lot.

The doctors told my dad and stepmom that my little sister would be born in August, so when she came in May it was a huge surprise. This is extremely early for a pregnancy, and this meant that she was very small and underdeveloped. I was shown photos of her but I personally didn’t think it was all that serious from everything my dad told me. I presume he didn’t want me to worry or feel bad so he sugarcoated how serious the whole situation actually was.  But every summer I’d go stay with my dad in Hong Kong which meant I would be seeing my little sister very soon, and although she was in the hospital I still wasn’t happy at all to meet her.

It was both a happy yet a heartbreaking moment to see my little sister for the first time. She had such beautiful blue eyes, and I could see the resemblance of my dad in her despite her size. Although I was very happy that I was meeting my sister, I could see how troubled my dad and stepmom were. There wasn’t much of a smile on their face as they knew that at any moment things could go south and my little sister could pass away. This hit me hard too because it wasn’t the first time this has happened to my family. A couple years ago before my sister was born my stepmom had a miscarriage, so I could only imagine what her and my dad were experiencing physiologically. I relate their feelings as to how Tim O’Brien described how many of his friends blamed themselves for the death of their friends because in my eyes, throughout those long 6 months, my dad and my stepmom placed the blame on themselves for every little thing that happened to my little sister. But as things got more serious I felt more separated from sister and distant from my dad. I knew it wasn’t my fault but I couldn’t help taking the blame, as if I did something bad. Ever since I saw my sister for the very first time, I convinced that I would be the  best older brother and that having a sister was the best thing that had ever happened to me(very different to what I thought about a month ago).

Too many of you reading who are reading this story, you may think it’s pretty sad, so I’m not going to dive too deeply into everything that happened during my little sisters battle, as it is very personal to me, but also may be a little intense.)

3 weeks after I arrived in Hong Kong, doctors found a porencephalic cyst in my little sister brain. A rare disorder in the central nervous system of the brain, which can delay development and other such things, Doctors told my dad that she would never be normal, wouldn’t be able to run, or walk like other kids. Of course I didn’t find out about this until a few weeks later, but I can only imagine how hard that must’ve hit my dad and stepmom. But it sure did hit me hard, everything I envisioned in doing with my sister vanished into thin air. I wouldn’t be able to play with her, laugh with her, and see her grow without pain or complete healthiness. As time went by doctors recommended things to help my sister, but consulting doctors from the U.S disagreed with many of the things they said, and they decided to give minimal treatment to my sister. Although things seemed to be improving, my dad and stepmom remained in the hospital all day and all night holding on, waiting for miracle so that they could bring her home healthy. It hurt me to see my dad in the emotional state that the was in. During those 6 months I saw my dad cry for the very first time, and that was a big moment because my dad never ever showed his emotions like he did.

Days became weeks, weeks became months. As my sister got sicker and sicker, I grew further away from her, as doctors wouldn’t let me see due to her state. I felt more distant than usual from my dad as he wouldn’t speak to me like he used due to what was going on. Sometimes when my dad and my stepmom would stay in the hospital stay and not come home for days, I would think about if something had happened to my sister. I felt like I was being held back from knowing what was going on, and my mind was telling me it was because I was no longer important anymore.

At this point, you might be thinking that she passed away. In fact, this story has a completely normal, happy ending. After being told that my sister wouldn’t be normal, and wouldn’t be able to do everyday things, it ends up that the doctors were wrong. My sister is now 110% normal. She can walk, talk, run, and even do pull ups if you believe it or not, which I think is impressive for a kid who’s only 3 years old. But after being in the hospital for half a year, my stepmom was very overprotective over her, because she was worried that something else might happen. Although she was out the hospital, I wasn’t able to spend time with her like I do now, and I don’t blame my stepmom at all, because I think any parent would do what she did after what happened.

There was a big effect on my dad and stepmom lives, and mine even after my little sister was released from hospital care. My dad decided it would be a good idea to take my sister to CHOP in Philadelphia so doctors could give her a better diagnosis, because even though she wasn’t being held in the hospital the cyst she had was still present. Everything that we did with my sister was done with a lot of precaution. For the first two years of my sister life, any time she would get sick my stepmom would panic and take her to the hospital. It was hard to see my stepmom stressing out about something that happened almost two years ago.

I went from being pessimistic about having a sister to striving to be the best brother out there. I went from having a horrible relationship with my step mom to really bonding and getting closer to her. There was a good,bad, and ugly things that came from what happened to my sister, but I learned a lot about myself through this time period. That I can be quick to judge and come to final verdicts without much proof and evidence, but after all of this I learned to not to judge so quickly. Seeing the smiles on my dad and stepmom's face when my little sister took her first steps was a moment I would never forget. And now that I’ve watched my sister grow so much it’s made me realize how much I actually do love her and how grateful I am that she made it. She’s turning 4 years old in May and it’s going to be happy moment for all of us, and watching her become an adult will be an even happier moment for me. All I can say now is that I am proud to be her brother and I always will be.