The Box

In “One Flew Over The Cuckoo’s Nest” by Ken Kesey, a new patient named McMurphy strolls into a mental hospital and throws everything into chaos. The highly controlled hospital environment strains as McMurphy constantly challenges it, fighting the authority figures of the book and trying to convince the rest of the patients to join him. As the patients have started to question their role in this authoritarian environment, I’ve started to question my role with authority in my life. I’ve always been a very “easy” child. An obedient child, you could say. My mom jokes she used to tell me to take a nap and I’d say “okay, how long would you like for me to nap mother?”. I’ve always gotten good grades, I’ve never really acted out, and I didn’t have any major problems with authority. I’m very much like my dad in that way- I stay in my box because it’s comfortable and I know how to be “good” in that environment. When I disagree with an authority figure, I either resign myself to it or stew in silence. I’m kind of like the Acutes of this novel, where I can hide behind excuses the authority figures have given me or try to justify what they say. “‘I’m pretty used to seeing that six-o’clock news.” one Acute says, “And if switching times would really mess up the schedule as bad as Miss Ratchet says-” (104). The justification of authoritative rule stops any change from happening because you accept that rule. I don’t justify authority on such an extreme scale, but as I’ve gone through the novel I realize I do it more than I thought. I am more like the Acutes than I want to admit.

My brother is the complete opposite. He is always breaking the rules, trying to see how much he can get away with. He’s more of a “difficult” child, and my mom and him are always at odds, which is funny given how similar they are. He is definitely more of a McMurphy figure, which always annoyed me when we were younger- couldn’t he grow up, stop fighting all the time, stop taking all the attention in the household? It wasn’t until this year that I’ve really begun question my role as an “easy” child.

I went to dinner with my family a month ago, and my mom said to me and my brother- “You know, there’s things I would change about both of you.” I was curious- what would she change about this easy child I was? “You’re in the box too much,” she told me. “I wish you would break the rules a little more, I wish you would fight more for what you think is right, or challenge people instead of just accepting their rule.” I didn’t really know what to say to that. My brother of course got excited when he heard this, saying, “Oh yeah! I’ll break the rules” My mom laughed and said, “No you need to go back IN the box”.

I think about what she said to me a lot, and I’ve started to realize that maybe I do have a problem with authority. Not in the way that I always fight it, but in the way that I don’t. Too often I just go with the rules because those are the rules, and I trust authority figures just because they are authority figures. When I disagree with something, I like to avoid conflict, like the Acutes. My brother is always challenging those rules and authority figures, always fighting. For a while I saw that as bad, but now I’ve begun to admire him. At least he speaks up for what he thinks is right.

It’s strange that we are so opposite, that my family is split like this, but I think in many ways it makes us challenge each other. Having opposites in the household encourages us all to grow towards a more middle ground, helps us get away from our extremes and find both “easy” and “difficult” within us. This is similar to the ward environment of the novel, where none of the chaos would have occurred had it not been for McMurphy. The ward needed someone who goes up to people and challenges them to change. As the novel unfolds, even the Acutes have begun to fight, rallying behind McMurphy’s voice: “‘Yeah, yeah, is that what you mean?” Their challenge is starting small, simply speaking up, but they are gaining momentum. They are pulled out of their comfort zone, out of the boxes they all have been hiding in. Like the Acutes, I am trying to find my own challenging voice. I am starting small and slowly I am figuring it out. While I still haven’t exactly found my voice yet, I’m trying more and more, and am hopeful that one day I won’t need a voice to rally behind, one day I’ll be enough to step outside the box on my own.