Advanced Essay #4: Guilt and Its Lasting Affect . . .

My goal for this paper is to analyze the way that guilt influences a soldier’s life. Throughout the process of the paper I have learned that the majority, if not all, soldiers suffer from this emotion whether they admit it or not. However, even if soldiers see their time serving this country as a privilege or not, they can all admit that war changes people and the way they think. A new perspective arises and it adds to the person that they are.

Above is a picture of the Vietnam Memorial Wall located in Washington, D.C. A middle aged white male has his hand placed on a wall that states the names of all the soldiers that died during the Vietnam War. The man is looking down toward the floor, his briefcase beside him. On the wall there is a reflection of about five soldiers standing up and one kneeling down, soldiers whose lives were lost staring back at the man. He is on his from work and he has his sleeves rolled up and his suit jacket sits beside him on top of his briefcase. A small American flag is planted into to ground and it hangs low. The man’s face is scrunched up as if he is starting to get emotional and is trying to prevent tears from running down his face. War is an unique concept of conflict that people who have not experienced it can only sympathize and not empathize.

An essay written by Kevin Sites states that ,“Combat is almost always the shortest and smallest part of any conflict, while collateral damage or civil destruction is war’s most enduring legacy.” The guilt that soldier feels will be carried with them forever.  Although they might have pride and have seen it as a privilege to serve their country, it does not take away from the fact that on that journey sacrifices are made not only with your internal being but with the people around you, the people you love the most.

A CBS NEWS article titled I can’t forgive myself states that ,“Like other officers who've spoken about moral injuries, he also feels responsible for deaths that resulted from orders he gave in other missions. The hardest part, Kudo says, is that "nobody talks about it.” This thought goes along with a book titled The Things They Carried  and how they avoided talking about death even though they faced it everyday. The characters in the book would desensitize the tragedies they had to deal with. Humor was often used to downplay the circumstances that they have endured. They used multiple methods in order to avert their thoughts from the adversities that have occurred.  Despite the various methods used, aren’t they all coping mechanisms?

Regardless of the coping mechanism that is used by an individual, if you do not talk about it then it will start haunting you inside. Our soldiers have “wounded souls,” in accordance with the CBS NEWS article mentioned above. Although these “souls” might be repaired they will never return to being the same as they were before. When they leave the war a part of themselves is lost and it can never be recovered. Many people, especially doctors and other medical advisors,  just lump soldiers into the PTSD category but in reality who wouldn’t suffer from that “illness”  if they were not in war, witnessing the deaths of both civilians and criminals everyday and having to be watching it all, if not actually partaking in those actions? No one is fully capable to dismiss those images from their head. These soldiers might not actually be sick, but they are just the product of the wicked environment they have been placed in. A system which undoubtedly causes these effects on them.

 Now what outlets are available in order for people to repair their wounded souls? In article titled Coping with Survivor Guilt & Grief it is reported that, “Guilt is a common reaction to loss and it can ultimately be part of the healing process. However, if it is not addressed, excessive guilt can lead to psychological health concerns, such as depression, apathy or generalized anxiety.” While guilt is usually the emotional reaction to a traumatic event, grief is the actual healing process. When lives are lost , the feeling of one’s humanity automatically decreases.  There needs to be more organizations that promote this healing process in a healthy way that gives drugs as a last resort instead of the first. It becomes difficult to empathize with someone if you never lived through the situation that they have faced. Nevertheless, that does not mean that we should stop trying. We need to understand that this guilt travels with them from war to home to carrying out their daily activities. Most of this guilt is due to the responsibility that soldiers feel for the lives lost both during the war and when they return home and lose contact with other soldiers they have served with. Still, we need to see these emotions as  Mike Felker, Veteran of the U.S. Navy does, he says, “Guilt is the driving force.” Guilt prompts us to continue to discover who we are and helps us stay in tune with our emotions. The acknowledgment of  guilt being present in our minds and hearts helps us grow through self-reflection.

Works Cited

"Coping with Survivor Guilt & Grief." Real Warriors. Defense Centers of Excellence. Web. 17 Mar. 2016. <http://www.realwarriors.net/active/treatment/survivorguilt.php >.

“ ‘I Can't Forgive Myself'': U.S. Veterans Suffering Alone in Guilt over Wartime Events." CBSNews. CBS Interactive, 22 Feb. 2013. Web. 16 Mar. 2016. <http://www.cbsnews.com/news/i-cant-forgive-myself-us-veterans-suffering-alone-in-guilt-over-wartime-events/ >.

Kevin Sites. "How Do Soldiers Live with Their Feelings of Guilt? - Kevin Sites - Aeon Essays." Aeon. Aeon Essays, 09 Apr. 2014. Web. 16 Mar. 2016. <https://aeon.co/essays/how-do-soldiers-live-with-their-feelings-of-guilt >.

Major Rebecca Lange. "Service Before Self: Reflections on Military and Civilian Service." The Huffington Post. TheHuffingtonPost.com, 10 Nov. 2014. Web. 17 Mar. 2016. <http://www.huffingtonpost.com/major-rebecca-lange/service-before-self-refle_b_6135730.html >.