I enjoyed how you began the story with the intention of making the reader unaware of why the character's interaction was important. You made it awkward and funny and toward the end of the story we realize the relationship between the two characters bringing us in a full loop.
There's a real strength in your ability to describe both the interior monologue of your narrator, and also the physical actions of themselves and what they observe. Many writers struggle to balance these two elements, and here it works quite well.
You started i the middle of the story and I love it when a story starts that way, it's really interesting, and by not giving full background at the start you make people want to read more.
I really enjoyed the sense of mystery you incorporated into your story. Throughout the entire story you did a good job of maintaining a good plot and keeping the reader wanting more.
Cana I think you have a very good ability to transport your reading into the descriptive world you create. Even thought it started off as an unusual situation, you still brought a sense of mystery throughout the whole story that really tied it all together.
I was chuckling, the way you described the girl in the first section. I think the way you write helps the reader feel all the emotions the girl is feeling as I also felt just as embarrassed as the main character. Also I loved how you did a good job at maintaining mystery, then finally revealing in the last line why their interaction was so tense. Great job!
The chaos and strangeness of the beginning is really entertaining and kept me reading. It's weird enough that it could absolutely be true, just like a random day that stuck out. So so good
I really liked how you maintained a sense of mystery throughout the story. It wasn't totally clear if the two main characters used to be in a relationship until the very end, which kept me that much more engaged as a reader.
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