Words That Cannot Be Spoken Are Sung

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“Oh, I love it and I hate it at the same time, hidin' all of our sins from the daylight.” This song expresses how our souls are split into two. There are two voices, one reminding us of what's right, while another approves of how amusing it would be to move towards wrongdoing. We normally lean towards light, but a part of us is attracted to darkness. In “The Handmaid’s Tale”, while the reader is aware of Offred's thoughts, nothing is certain about her opinions and how she will feel towards certain moments. A specific moment is when Offred reveals her thoughts when she first secretly meets with the commander. “I think about how I approach the Commander, to kiss him, here alone, and take off his jacket, as if to allow or invite something further, some approach to true love, and put my arms around him and slip the lever out from the sleeve and drive the sharp end into him suddenly, between his ribs.” (139 - 140). Offred constantly gives the reader insight into her dark thoughts but pushes them away when she sees the darkness in them. She constantly reminds herself and the readers that there are rules in place where consequences will follow if broken. At times, people start to lean towards the dark side of themselves because it’s a different force, a different experience from their usual lives. In a way, this is an escape from their reality and discovering something exciting they didn’t know they could encounter.

This song talks about missing your loved one while expressing the problem of adapting to their absence. The deep feeling of losing someone and surrounded by sadness. “Every minute and every hour, I miss you, I miss you, I miss you more. Every stumble and each misfire, I miss you, I miss you, I miss you more.” The connection between the book and this song is when Offred talks about Luke. In some moments, she talks about how she misses him. “I wanted to feel Luke lying beside me.” (52). In others, she tries to get around what happened to him after they got separated. “I believe Luke is lying face down in a thicket of bracken…” (104). Another quote I want to include is, “But this is wrong, nobody dies from lack of sex. It’s lack of love we die from.” (103). Thus far, Luke hasn’t been portrayed as being present in Gilead. Even so, through her dreams, Offred still remembers Luke vividly in the moments they shared before Gilead. It’s painfully clear she deeply longs for him and misses his presence because of her frequent returns to the love she received from the people most dear to her.

A song about realizing your loved one is not who you thought they were. The story behind this song is how the main character feels that they were once the other half of their partner's life but recognizes that they’ve been neglected and tries to wrap around the reality of where they stand in the relationship. As a connection to the book, I argue that this song describes the Commander’s Wife's (also known as Serena Joy) emotions as Offred begins to get in the middle of her relationship with the Commander. Moreover, this song also connects to how the Commander feels towards his relationship with his Wife. “There is loathing in her voice as if the touch from my body flesh sickens and contaminates her… Which of us is it worse for, her or me?” (95). After the first ceremony, Offred notices Serena Joy's emotions and reactions and can’t help but question how badly of an impact it had on her. Thus far, Offred mentions how she feels bad towards Serena Joy because she’s going behind her back to meet the Commander which is painfully obvious it is. Her having to witness another woman get with her husband because she is unable to bear children, how that must pain her. And then, “No, he said. She wouldn’t understand. Anyway, she won’t talk to me much anymore.” (158). When Offreds brings up the question about why the Commander did not show the magazines to his Wife this is his response. He too is noticing the change in their relationship and how Serena Joy is slowly drifting away from their relationship; in a way, losing interest in him. Even though, not stated in the book, the readers notice how the Commander and his Wife’s relationship is getting worse due to others coming in between them and the lack of communication and interaction.

“I am lost with a direction. I am failure and perfection. Without grace, but I am tired. Of walking life like it's a wire.” This is a reflective song about accepting and being true to oneself. It talks about acknowledging that you’re both good and evil, strong and weak. When considering the characters from The Handmaid’s Tale, Moira is the closest one to resonate with this song. “Moira had power now, she’d been set loose, she’d set herself loose. She was now a loose woman… Moira was like an elevator with open sides.” (133). After knowing what happened with Moira, Offred reflects on how she escaped and was successful when there wasn’t any trace of a possibility. I never could have anticipated Moira’s method of escaping. This was another Moira from how Offred described her as a close colleague in a normal friendship. Female resistance. Gilead wasn’t the place Moira wanted to be in so made her path. Her character is strong and doesn’t overthink what she wants. She’d been seen as having power by the other handmaids because she had done something that they thought of but never exercised due to the regimes that held them in place, which led them to be extremely complacent because of the consequences they were aware would come after if they tried to go against them. In contrast, the reader notices that Moira doesn’t care about those regimes/rules and decides to fight for her life instead of letting others rule it.

I conclude that this song relates to how Offred is tied to her thoughts. “I don't feel like myself and. I can't help being selfish. Sometimes the pressure gets the best of me.” This song is about struggling with life. It talks about the battle to find happiness and a connection. At times, Offred remembers and dreams about the happy memories when she was beside her loved ones. “In other moments, Offred's thoughts appear dark, thinking about the worst possibilities, hoping they aren’t true at the same time making them sound realistic. “Time’s a trap, I’m caught in it. I must forget about my secret name and all ways back. Live in the present, make the most of it, it’s all you’ve got.” (143). Thus far, having experienced so much, I reason that Offred feels as if she’s been wasting her time thinking about the past, hoping that something will change when in reality there might not be change at all. That she won’t see the people she loves again. She’s decided to focus on her present life and make the best out of her time as a handmaid. It’s not certain, but I noticed a shift in Offred’s train of thought that started with Moira’s actions and her and the Commander’s secret meetings. Even so, I still consider that she will continue going back to her memories because that’s what keeps her going in hopes of a better tomorrow.