Will Amari
11/19/12
Silver
“She Whispered In My Ear or: How I Learned To Stop Worrying And Love The Weekend”
And I never saw her again. She was the light of my life and she truly loved me...
I named a damn album after her. You remember that? It was my biggest hit. I was at the prime of my career. Definitely the golden age, but I feel like I never really truly made it. I never really truly had that chance to bask in the limelight.
I was huge. I mean there were The Beatles, The Stones, Dylan and then me.
But I was as big as I was forgotten— they all out shined me. It was a tough business. It wore me out and I wanted a simpler life. Sure the movie business was tough, but it just felt more steady. Less sex, more respect, that’s what it was. And writing was a good thing to lean on. I feel like this is what got me out of my...um... heroin addiction.
I didn’t have much of a childhood but there were weekends where I thought I was going to go insane. Childhood memories— what a life to live. I grew up in a small town right next to a big city. I lived in this tiny house and there really wasn’t a lot going on. There were no kids my age. I didn’t have many friends, and my parents were... well they were parents, but It was a peaceful neighborhood. Though I struggled socially in school, I don’t blame myself. I blame my surroundings. You know who lived next door? No one... I didn’t have neighbors. My parents where jackasses they didn’t care. Instead I had imaginary friends and radio. The Masked Rider and The Adventures of Daniel Queen were all I needed to keep me calm and busy. I remember they came on once a week at 5.00 P.M. I came running home every Thursday after school to finish my homework, just to listen to the radio before dinner. Now-a-days you got the TV, the video games, and iPods and... what have you. It was a good life except weekends were quite lonely. I just sat there in my room thinking too much about the world. I always thought that it was going down the drain. And my parents always wanted me out. But, I had no one to go out with. So I just lay there on my bed until I practically convinced myself that nothing mattered and that we as human beings were nothing more than a bunch of self righteous animals or... better yet savages that were crazy enough to... (shakes head)
I was pretty depressed but... whatever. Life is depressing. (pause) It wasn’t always that way. There was a time I had friends. Real friends.
Eighth grade is the final stage of childhood. Your bodies are changing as fast as your life. You start to notice more, ask more questions and take more chances. It was easier to get in trouble and your innocence slowly begins to fade away into the past just like the crisps Autumn leaves that fall from their branches. Theres a metaphor in there somewhere. Anyway what was... I’m sorry I lost my train of...
Oh yes... um, so one weekend I was out walking my dog. There was a park I always went to and I found a kid, a girl my age who had several small dogs. I had one big dog. I walked up to her. She wore an orange coat and a black skirt. She was a short haired blond and her face was dressed in rose pink. I forgot what I was wearing, what I looked liked, or anything else but it didn’t matter. Anyway I decided to engage in pleasant conversation.
I flirted with her.
I asked her out.
Well, not really. I just helped her with her math homework. She seemed like a nice girl so I knew it was safe. Turned out she went to my school all along and I never even noticed her. We were ounce like fleeting shadows passing in the halls and now we were friends. A week later I came to her house to listen to some local radio programs. It was a rainy lazy Sunday. I walked outside with her to go through the park where we spent the whole day playing in the rain, splashing each other, going down the slide, playing on the swings. It was just the two of us, no little kids, and no grown ups to tell us what to do. We played freely with out any fear of consequences lingering in our pure young minds. When the sun went down she asked me to come back to her house where we dried off and listened to the radio once more. I remember her room and how everything was done up in pale lavender. Her bed was silky and soft. She had this huge crush on Frank Sinatra, and it bothered me a bit, but overall I didn’t mind. The room began to feel warm and my cheeks became red. She had moved closer to me until we were practically one person. That evening her lips met with mine and I began to shake. She whispered in my ear and softly said that I could do whatever I wanted to do to her.
It was dark by the time I came home. Almost dinner time and I knew my mom was going to freak out. As I walked down my block I became inspired. The beauty of the night along with lights which glimmered through the air is something to this day forward I will never forget. I knew that these moments would soon just become memories and nothing more. To this day I think of that weekend and more and more, every time I think of it... it becomes less of a memory and more of a fantasy.
And I never saw her again. She was the light of my life and she truly loved me.
After she moved away from my neighborhood, I soon came to realize that there was never going to be another girl like her. Allowing her to live on in my songs is just my way of thanking her for all the times we had spent together. Young love is the best love because everything happens so naturally. I guess its true what they say... you will never be young again.
But you can still be happy (pause) and you can still be happy.
