9a to 1p
Penny And Penelope Comparison
Could you stand being a single mother raising your children alone, while your husband is away on a journey? Well Penelope and Penny could. The book The Odyssey and the movie O, Brother Where Art Thou are being compared and contrasted based on the characters Penelope and Penny, the wives of the main characters,Odysseus of The Odyssey Penelope’s husband, and Everett of O Brother Where Art Thou Penny’s husband. Although Penelope and Penny were both left pregnant and alone their stories of struggle and husbands’ journeys home are different.
Penny and Penelope both remain confident throughout their stories. Penny divorces her husband Everett, after he has to leave and go to jail. With a need to support herself and her family, she seeks out to find a new husband, who has better qualities than Everett, one who she says has to be “bone-a-fide”. Penny knows what’s best, so she finds herself “a suitor” who is up to her standards and is formally engaged to her fiancé, Vernon T. Waldrip. Penelope is left with a baby boy to take care of while her husband Odysseus is away for 20 years trying to find his way home after the Trojan War. Penelope has her house invaded by a group of 100 plus suitors, with one who she has to marry. She still feels for her husband and doesn’t want to marry any of these suitors. She wants him to come home but has a feeling he is dead. According to Penelope the suitors are nothing but a bunch of greedy pigs, and she wants out of her home. One day she has enough of the suitors and says” And you, if you have any shame in your own hearts, you must leave my palace! See to your feasting elsewhere; devour your own possessions, house to house by turns. But if you decide the fare is better, richer here, destroying one man’s goods and going scot-free, all right then, carve away” (Book 2 lines 156-160). The both of these ladies know what they want and if it’s best they’ll strive to get it.
Penelope and Penny are the reasons why their husbands want to come home.
While Everett is away serving his jail time, Penny sends him a letter that tells him she is getting married to her fiancé Waldrip. So Everett lies to his companions who is he is chained to telling them that they are escaping to find treasure. He is dedicated to returning home and getting his wife back. Penny stubbles upon Everett in a store and he realizes that she has been telling her daughters that he is dead because he was hit by a train. Penelope, on the other hand can’t communicate with Odysseus because there is no way she can. Odysseus is coming home from the war but along the way faces many great challenges occurring by sea and islands. Penelope has no idea he is alive and when he comes home Penelope doesn’t know it is Odysseus because he is disguised as a beggar. The only people who she can talk to, are the suitors who she wants nothing to do with. “These men drive me mad, hedging me round, right and left, plotting their lethal plots, and no one takes my side”. (Book 18 Lines 261-262) Penelope has no contact with Odysseus but Penny has contact with Everett. This shows that Penny as a chance to talk to Everett and work things out in there relationship. Penelope has no way of talking to Odysseus and explain how she feelings about him but, she can’t all she can do is worry and hope he makes it home safely.
Penelope and Penny both want their husbands’ back but at different times. Penelope remained faithful to Odysseus for 20 years and didn’t want to marry anybody else, but when he returned home things were a little different. He came home in disguise, as a beggar, but Penelope doesn’t know that it’s him. “… my husband in their ships, Odysseus if he could return to tend my life the renown I had would only grow in glory.”. (Book 18 Lines 284-286) When the competition arrives Odysseus proves himself worthy because he is the only one who successfully completes the challenge. He tries to tell Penelope that it is really him, her husband and not just an old man. So Penelope tests Odysseus to see if it’s really him. She tells the maids to move the marriage bed and once Odysseus sees this he quickly fills with anger because that bed was made special, made from a firmly planted tree trunk. Penelope immediately knows, it’s Odysseus after she sees his reaction. Penny found herself a new man, “a suitor” who met her standards and could help support her family. She forgot about Everett as if he was really dead and told her children that a train had hit him. Once Everett proves himself to Penny and shows that he is “bone-a-fined” she plans to remarry him but only if he finds the wedding ring he gave to her when they first were married. Both women Penelope and Penny take their husbands back but with a catch.
These stories of Penelope and Penny are different but in some situations they are alike. They both were single mothers who took both parent rolls while their husbands were away. Penelope was loyal to Odysseus but, Penny on the other hand could care less about Everett. Their husbands wanted them back so Penelope and Penny were the reasons why the wanted to come home. When their husbands arrived Penny and Penelope took them back but both at different times in their stories. Over all, both women remained confident throughout their stories and got their husbands back with an amazing story for them to hear about Odysseus’s and Everett’s journey.
To Kill A Mockingbird
By: Victoria Odom
To Kill A Mockingbird is a novel written by Harper Lee. The book was first published in 1960 and in 1961 won the Pulitzer Prize. It was lately made into modern day movie, which some people like to call a great classic. In the story, the setting takes place in the deep south of Maycomb, Alabama during the time of the Great Depression.
In the book the main characters are Scout, Jem, Atticus, Tom, Bob and Mayella. The book is told through Scout’s eyes and as you read you’ll discover, as a young girl, Scout is learning a lot about what really goes on living in the deep South. Scout’s father, Atticus, is a lawyer and is appointed to represent Tom Robinson, a black man, in a rape case. Although everyone knew that Tom wouldn’t stand a chance on trial, the sheriff knew with Atticus as his lawyer that at least Tom last longer. Tom Robinson was accused of rapping a young white girl, Mayella but, truth is Tom is innocent. Her father Bob has been beating and raping her for as long as she can remember. Growing up this is what Scout is a witness to this racist unfair trial, and later discovers what racism actually is.
Although I have not really experienced any of the things the characters have, I have experienced of racism in my daily life. When I walk into a store usually owned by a different race they follow me around as if I was going to steal something. We as black people have come a long way from all the wrongly accused acts, I feel that peace has gotten better since that time period.
Over all I really enjoyed the book, it was very interesting to read and I have read it many times before. In my opinion, this is one of the greatest books ever written. It combines the act of racial discrimination with the everyday life of a young girl. If Harper Lee ever continues from this book I would love to read the next book. I think she is a great author and when she writes she really bring in the reader’s attention. There’s nothing I disliked about this book.
Yes I would recommend this book to others because of its truth relations in history. It inspired me to read more books just like it. It shows that some people are caring and kind the stick up for others. As Atticus did with Tom in court, all though everyone knew they didn’t stand a chance on trial. I wish this book was longer because I think 376 pages wasn’t enough, it will have you thinking what happens next even after you’re done reading the book.
I thought school was suppose to be a place of peace and learning but, some people make it seem like the total opposite. I think some girls feel so bad about themselves that they talk about other people to make themselves feel better by degrading others. If they something to say, then they should say it to your face rather than behind your back. This is why I hate two-faced people the want be your friend to get all the n they talk all this trash about you. This is why it’s hard to get along with people because you never know who you can trust. Making friends comes easy but, finding the true ones are the hard part. I feel that you shouldn’t judge people on how they look or was others say about them, what really matters is what’s on the inside, was things like a good personality.
A lot of times I wish I could drop my race because of the racist stereotypes. When I walk into a store that’s usually own by a person of high class or different race, they follow me and or my friends around. I hate the fact of stereotypes, just because I’m black doesn’t mean I steal because that surely is not true. I think no one should be thought of a criminal just because of their outer skin appearance. Or even thought to be a drug dealer or murder just because their black, live in a not so fancy part of their city and may or may not own a gun. People need to stop judging others on racial aspects and judge based on personality.
I am who I am
I am who I am
each and everyday
I am who I am
no matter what you say
I am who I am
when I go to sleep
I am who I am
when I don’t say a peep
I am who I am
standing tall and proud
I am who I am
speaking very loud
I am who I am
no matter what I wear
I am who I am
no matter if you care
I am who I am
each and everyday
I am who I am
is what I have to say
My winter break wasn’t so great. Spending the majority of it sick wasn’t what I had planned, but over all I guess you can say it was okay. Christmas was interesting, I got everything I wanted and more, seeing family I haven’t seen in awhile was great too. Family time is usually fun, when there’s no drama but, that’s all it seems to be lately. New Years was even worse, BECAUSE I DIDN’T GET TO CELEBRATE IT! I guess you say it was my fault, it’s all because I was on the phone from 3 to 8:30 am the night before. So when the new-year came around I was knocked out on the couch fast asleep. Although I was sick for 2 weeks straight I feel much better now.
Q4 BM Portfolio
Going through my 9th grade English portfolio, you will see a lot of growth in writing. This Q4 Benchmark has made that growth obvious to me. I am glad that SLA puts emphasis on reflecting on your work once you are finished. Without that process it would be easy to go by a year without realizing how much you grew as a person and writer.
With this growth, you begin to lean towards certain types of writing, and avoid others. It is best to challenge yourself and try a style of writing that is really difficult for you. These different writing styles become your strengths and weaknesses. I feel that my strengths are mostly projects that require a certain level of creativity. Comparing and contrasting have always been difficult for me. However I like to view my weaknesses as things to make into strengths next year.
Putting together this portfolio was somewhat easy but mostly intriguing. It is extremely entertaining for me to look back over my writing and go, “Did I really write this?” Overall, I think this portfolio project is a great way to overcome weaknesses and learn about yourself as a writer.
First, I have the Q1 Benchmark. The Macbeth Character Analysis was one of my favorite projects because I found Lady Macbeth a very complicated and thought out character. A requirement for this Benchmark was that we needed 10 quotes from the book Macbeth that helps prove your thesis. Although I liked this project, I don’t think it was my best work of the year.
Macbeth Character Analysis
Thesis statement: Lady Macbeth transformed from a controlling housewife to a guilt-ridden person with a mental illness.
In Act One, Scene Five, line 64-65 of Macbeth, Lady Macbeth receives a letter from her husband Macbeth saying that he and his fellow co- worker Banquo stumbled upon three witches. And the witches hailed him as thane of Cawdor and King. Macbeth explains how he is intrigued by the royalty and possibility that maybe HE could be king. Meanwhile a messenger tells Lady Macbeth that King Duncan himself is staying the night at their house. This news gives Lady Macbeth her first inner conflict, should they kill Duncan? Macbeth comes home soon after that from war. Lady Macbeth gives the news that Duncan is staying the night and maybe it was foretold that they should kill him tonight. Now Macbeth is worried. This is when she says to Macbeth, “Look like the innocent flower, but be the serpent under it.” She means conceal your true self, don’t look so evil and conflicted. She is trying to control Macbeth and the way he portrays himself in front of guests.
In Act One, Scene seven, line 36 of Macbeth, they are about to go through with their plan of killing Duncan. Macbeth is having last minute regrets. He also is saying that they shouldn’t do this. Lady Macbeth is getting frantic and getting a little defensive. This is when Lady Macbeth says, “Was the hope drunk wherein you dressed yourself?” She means what were you thinking before. Where did all your confidence go? Lady Macbeth is trying to make Macbeth do something he doesn’t want to by making him feel guilty.
Act One, Scene Seven, line 48 of Macbeth, they are still debating whether or not to kill Duncan and Lady Macbeth is getting angry and even more defensive. Macbeth is frightened at the consequences. As a responding Lady Macbeth takes the argument to the next level by questioning his manliness, which is a blow below the belt. “When you durst do it, then you are a man.” She means before you were a man. You’re not the man I married. Again lady Macbeth is using guilt and peer pressure to stab at Macbeth’s manhood. It is obvious that Lady Macbeth liked Macbeth’s Wild side and ruthless side.
In Act one, Scene four, line 61-62 of Macbeth, Lady Macbeth and Macbeth are hosting a dinner for all the thanes. Banquo is not there because Macbeth had him murdered. The other thanes don’t know that though. At the dinner Macbeth is about to sit and start eating when he sees Banquo sitting in his chair. This is an illusion, and a Banquo of the mind. Macbeth is scared. None of the other thanes or his wife can see him. Macbeth is freaking out. Lady Macbeth pulls him aside to give him a pep talk. “Oh proper stuff! This is the very painting of your fear.” She means that this is your illusion of your fear; you’re creating fear.
In Act three, Scene four, line 110-111 of Macbeth, Lady Macbeth is angry because all of the dinner guests had to leave because of Macbeth’s hallucinations. Lady Macbeth is furious and is embarrassed to be married to Macbeth at that moment. When the dinner guests leave Lady Macbeth rounds on Macbeth
and says, “You have displaced the mirth, broke the good meeting with most admired disorder.” She means, you’re an embarrassment. Are you happy with yourself; look what you’ve done. Again making him feel less important. This now makes Lady Macbeth look like the real person in power.
In Act Five, Scene One, line 36-37 of Macbeth, a doctor and Lady Macbeth’s
maid are watching Lady Macbeth sleep. The maid told the doctor about
past nights when Lady Macbeth had tried to wash her hands while sleep
walking. The maid is worried for Lady Macbeth and is scared of the things
she says while washing her hands. While sleep walking and pretending
to wash her hands, Lady Macbeth says, “Out damn spot! Out, I say! One-two-why ‘tis time to do’t.” She is seeing things and is feeling so guilty she is saying this in her sleep. She cannot get the imaginary blood off her hands or clean
In Act Five, Scene One, line 38-40, of Macbeth, Lady Macbeth is still sleep
Walking. She admits to something that she would never admit if she had any
control over it. Lady Macbeth says, while sleep walking, “Yet, who would have thought the old man to have so much blood in him.” This shows that even though she didn’t show it, she did have regrets and fears about killing Duncan. This proves that Lady Macbeth does have feelings, even if she hides them when she is awake. She is not a robot made for killing. She has feelings.
In Act Five, Scene One, line 51 of Macbeth, Lady Macbeth is still sleep walking, and continues to try to get the “smell of blood” off of her hands. When washing them does not work, she comes to the conclusion that the smell and the guilt will never leave her. This is when she says, “All the perfumes of Arabia will not sweeten this little hand.” She has given up hope of ever cleansing her soul. Nothing will make her hand stop smelling like blood.
In Act Five, Scene Two, line 61-63 of Macbeth, Lady Macbeth is wrapping
up the procedure of washing her hands, and is having a sleep walking
déjà-vu of what she said to Macbeth in the beginning when they had first
killed Duncan. It is not an exact repeat, but is very similar. Lady Macbeth
is obviously reliving the moment of the killing, which is haunting her.
Lady Macbeth says, “Wash your hands, put on your nightgown, look not so pale. I tell you again, Banquo’s buried. He cannot come out of his grave.” She
Is also connecting this to the killing of Banquo. That fear, which is mostly
Macbeth’s, still is shared by Lady Macbeth.
In Act Five, Scene Two, line 66-67 of Macbeth, Lady Macbeth is concluding
her sleep walking and is having another flashback. This flashback reflects
the moments after Duncan was murdered. In the quote she mentions that
you cannot change the past. This proves that she is feeling remorse and
wishing she had not done what she had done. Lady Macbeth says, “ Come, come, come, come, give me your hand. What’s done cannot be undone. To bed. To bed. To bed.” Notice how she says, “give me your hand.” This indicates that she does need Macbeth and is not talking down to him.
In conclusion, we can see the transformation of Lady Macbeth from just a controlling housewife who got what she wanted by sexual tension and peer pressure, to a guilt ridden body of pure emotion, hate, and fear. At the end of the play she cannot deal anymore with the guilt so she kills herself. The guilt was overpowering and caused a brain malfunction due to bottling it up. It was interesting how Shakespeare did the suicide of Lady Macbeth off-stage, because it makes her death mysterious, just like her character. Overall, Lady Macbeth was a complicated and well-described character. She is the most developed character in the play, Macbeth.
This next piece is our Q2 Benchmark. After reading The House On Mango Street, our class became mostly about vignettes. In this project, we did our own vignette based on a real-life experience. Mine was a story from my trip to Costa Rica.
Costa Rica Extravaganza
The cool Costa Rican night air ruffled my hair like a whisper. I lay awake in my single bed unable to sleep, restless, for the next day was a day of “canyoning.” I wasn’t totally sure what “canyoning” was but it sounded dangerous and exciting. I had the energy of a six year old on Christmas Eve. Just thinking about “canyoning” gave my stomach a serious case of butterflies. After long hours of twisting and turning I finally fell into a delicate slumber.
Before I knew it I had my daypack packed, ready to get on the road. We all piled onto the bus with enthusiasm. The bus driver quickly turned around in his seat with a frown. The group fell silent. That frown quickly turned into a joking smile reveling a set of old battered teeth, “Ready!?” asked the bus driver in his thick Spanish accent. Before the group could answer the bus gave a loud SCREEEE! And we were off.
The bus strained against the harsh mountainside hills. Reaching the top, the bus came to an eerie stop. Pushing and shoving the group got off the bus, me getting off last I went up to the tour guide and asked “excuse me sir but, what exactly is cannoning?” He looked puzzled at the question “ I didn’t tell you guys?” He seemed surprised at his own forgetfulness, “I don’t think so” I said reassuringly. “Oh… sorry about that, cannoning is when you repel down waterfalls and zip-line.” YIKES I had no idea it would be that crazy! “Thank you sir” I was ok about the zip-line but REPELING down a waterfall that’s a whole other story! After many minutes of franticly thinking, I came to a conclusion. These people aren’t trying to kill us. How big could these waterfalls be?
The tour guide chopped at the thick vegetation like a chef, with his machete through Costa Rica’s rigorous mountain terrain. After hours of hiking we reached a intimidating clearing where we stopped at the zip-line. Our whole group was thinking the same thing: HOLY… the whole group was in awe. This zip-line stretched far as the eye could see out into the distance and was at least 300 feet up. “Okay! Who wants to go first?” Our tour guide was making sarcastic jokes about the scariness of the drop. Feeling brave I raised my hand. Surprised, he shrugged and waved me over to him. I was strapped into a harness and attached to the zip-line. Before I was ready, I was hurled off the ledge, free- falling. I yelled, and clung onto my rope. After what seemed like minutes of falling, I was zooming through the beautiful wild canopy. Holding out both hands, happily, I closed my eyes. The air felt pleasant, gently pressing against my face. I could have been flying.
After the zip-line, I was more confident, ready for whatever came my way. But when I saw that waterfall, all of my confidence was blown away by the cannon of realization. That waterfall was huge and I mean HUGE. 100 feet high drop, and thousands of gallons of roaring water was incredibly intimidating. Just the sound made all of our stomachs cringe. The only way home was down that slippery waterfall. It took me awhile to finally muster up the courage to do it. When I did bounce parallel to the ground all the way down, I was soaked, tired and beaten by the extreme power of roaring water. My tour guide landed next to me. “Well, was it worth it?” he asked. I thought about the fear I had overcome, and the things I now felt capable of accomplishing, and croaked, “totally.”
This next piece is our 3rd quarter Benchmark. In this project, we had to compare two characters from The Odyssey. I found this project to be very difficult because I have trouble with the concept of comparing and contrasting.
Odysseus And Telemachus
The Odyssey is a tale of a hero named Odysseus and all of his obstacles. One can view this tale as a story of one man, but a hidden sub theme coexists. This is the story of a son and his lost father. Telemachus' story is an important but subtle chunk of The Odyssey. Odysseus and Telemachus may be very different in personality but the physical resemblance when they are in the midst of battle reminds us that they are father and son.
In The Odyssey Telemachus appears to be wimpy, shy, and weak, nothing like his father. In Book 1 page 81 Telemachus is daydreaming, wishing that his father would just solve the suitor problem. Homer writes of Telemachus, “ Sitting among the suitors, heart obsessed with grief, he could almost see his magnificent father, here in the mind’s eye—if only he might drop from the clouds and drive these suitors all in a rout throughout the halls and regain his pride of place and rule his own domains” (Book 1, Lines 133-139). This quote shows that Telemachus feels that he has very little power. He thinks his father is all-powerful and wishes that his father would just drop down and solve all of his problems. At this point, Telemachus sees Mentis (Athena disguised) and views him as a mentor and friend; that build his confidence because at this point he lacks it.
With the help of Athena Telemachus realizes that his father will not solve his problems for him. This gives him the mental strength to call the first town meeting since Odysseus left for Troy and also set out on a trek to find his father. The Odyssey tells us that Telemachus looks like his father. On the trek, when Telemachus meets King Nestor, Odysseus' friend from Troy, Telemachus musters up a lot of bravery and boldness,. “Your father, yes, if you are in fact his son . . .I look at you and a sense of wonder takes me. Your way with words—it’s just like his—I’d swear no youngster could ever speak like you, so apt, so telling.” (Book 3, page 111, lines 137-140) King Nestor says that Telemachus’ way with words is just like Odysseus’. This is one of the key transformation moments when Telemachus is complimented on his similarities to his father. When this happens Telemachus feels one of his first real connections opening, like he has a piece of his father’s leadership and power inside of him.
At the end of the Book 21, page 438, lines 471-479, Homer writes and Odysseus said, “’Telemachus’ Odysseus looked at his son and said, ‘Your guest, sitting here in your house, has not disgraced you. No missing the mark, look, and long labor spent to string the bow. My strength’s not broken yet, not quite so frail as the mocking suitor’s thought. But the hour has come to serve our masters right—supper in broad daylight—then to other revels, song and dancing, all that crowns a feast.’ Odysseus is making a father son joke about his frailty stringing a bow. This is a good-natured teasing between a father and son that builds a relationship, one of their first real bonding moments.
In the end of The Odyssey, Odysseus and Telemachus fight the suitors together. This is their strongest place of father son bonding. In Books 21 and 22 the resemblance between them is striking. On page 428 of Book 21, Telemachus is swaggering and taunting the suitors with crude bravery not unlike his father. As the suitors are challenged to string the bow, Telemachus eggs them on saying, "Why sing my mother’s Praises? Come, let the games begin! No dodges, no delays, no turning back from the stringing of the bow"(Book 21, Lines 125-130) This does not sound anything like the early Telemachus we met at the beginning of the book, shy, depressed, and hopeless. He knows that this is all part of the plan, and that Odysseus is disguised and ready to string that bow. Moreover, in Book 22 father and son operate side by side. When Odysseus was on his trek home he was a great and ruthless fighter. In fighting Polyphemus, he yells, “Cyclops—if any man on the face of the earth should ask you who blinded your eye, shamed you so—say Odysseus, raiders of cities, he gauged out your eye.” (Book 9, page 227, lines 558-561.) This shows that Odysseus also is taunting the opponent. They are both very independent and bright in the midst of battle. For the two of them, quick thinking is never a problem. On page 453, lines 487-489 Odysseus gives an order to slit the throats of the maids. Telemachus chooses to put the maids to death in a more brutal fashion because he does not feel it is a cruel enough punishment, “No clean death for the likes of them, by God! Not for me—they showered abuse on my head, my mother’s too!” This proves that he has sounds just as ruthless as his father.
Odysseus and Telemachus are very different, but in places the father and son are alike. Telemachus is the proud son of a great warrior. People would expect him to be just like his noble father. What comes as a surprise is that he is actually more of the quiet type, although he still has his animal side hidden underneath. It is ironic that the first time they really meet is when they are most alike, in battle. The journey of trying and failing to find his long lost father probably sculpted Telemachus into becoming a leader like his father. Implied is that Telemachus’ and Odysseus’ relationship would have been weak if it were not for Telemachus’ transformation into a man.
This next piece was one of my favorite projects because we were allowed to choose the way we presented our work. I chose to present my work in using a program called Comic Life. This is one of my favorite pieces of work that I have done all year. Enjoy!
Macbeth Creative Project
(To see the creative project go to the bottom of this post.)
Below is my second semester book review. The book I read is called Amarillo Slim In A World of Fat People. This book is written in the style of a memoir. Enjoy.
Amarillo Slim has been called,” the greatest gambler who ever lived”. His memoir is called Amarillo Slim In A World Of Fat People. He truly has done some amazing things with his talent such as, winning the world poker tournament, beating a world famous tennis player at ping-pong with a frying pan, and winning a game of pool against Minnesota Fats with a broom. All of these incredibly weird and interesting things happened without any training of any kind.
Throughout the book you will follow Amarillo’s adventures and see him gamble and swindle multiple people at their own game. It is incredibly entertaining to watch the story progress from a smoky back room to a world-class casino. This is all told in his somewhat comical Texan drawl. You will hear his personality told in the first person: “ If there’s anything I’ll argue about, I’ll either bet on or shut up. And since it’s not very becoming for a cowboy to be arguing, I’ve made a few wagers in my day. But in my humble opinion, I’m no ordinary hustler you see, neighbor, I never go looking for a sucker. I look for a champion and make a sucker out of him.” Just in this phrase you can hear his swagger, boldness, and charm.
I personally could not relate to Amarillo since I rarely gamble, even though I enjoy poker. Some parts of Amarillo’s wisdom makes total sense to me, though. He writes about being brave, making friends with yourself, and being kind to your opponent. If that happens, they will most likely want to gamble with you again. It can be interesting to read about someone who’s life is so different than everyone else’s. He started gambling when he of high school age, our teenage years are so different in every way. I wonder if that life style is still possible in these times. Some say that is the last true Cowboy gambler.
Overall I liked this book because of the wild ride he takes the readers on, reflecting the wild ride of his life. Some weaknesses of this book were telling a tale too slowly, with too many minor characters. It was difficult to keep track of all of the folks he swindled and admired. I enjoyed the Texas slang. Because of his legendary stunts, there was even a song written about him.
“ Do you dare make a bet with Amarillo Slim?
You play his game with one condition for him.
From Ping-pong to golf or baskets in the gym.
Do you dare make a bet with Amarillo Slim?
Hell, the devil don’t bet with Amarillo Slim.”
This song is still played to this day, every year, at the World Series of Poker. I would definitely recommend this book to people who want an exiting but slow paced journey. This book is perfect to bring on vacation and read on the beach. You may even want to use some of his secrets when you next meet up to play you gambling game of choice.
Throughout the year in class we have been doing journal entries. Usually they are serious topics such as, “What are some expectations put on you by others?” Next you will see four of mine that I picked out to show.
1) What makes someone a good storyteller?
A good storyteller puts emotion in his or her voice. A good storyteller makes eye contact with the crowd, doesn’t say “um” or any word stalling the story, and has very different voice volumes for different parts of the story. Monotones are NEVER good in story telling because you want the audience to be attentive, NOT bored.
2) Do you prefer stories that are real or fictional?
Personally I like both. On one hand you have the amazement of reading something stunning that actually happened, and on the other you have a journey possibly into another world. Those two choices are too hard to pick from for me. I like a good blend of both.
3) What makes someone an adult?
In my eyes, an adult is not necessarily someone who is over 18. Someone could be 30 and still be a child in my eyes. I think what makes someone truly an adult is how they deal with difficult scenarios and problems. Whether we deal with it maturely or not is purely our choice. That, is what I think being an adult is.
4) What would you do if you pulled off an incredible trick?
I would probably try and keep it a secret for as long as I could. Eventually I would tell my good friends, and from there it would spread. The difficult part would be trying not to tell anyone. For me, it is incredibly hard to keep secrets.
Why do we write? 11/24/10
Is it important to you to fit in? Have you ever done anything as part of a group that you’re ashamed of? 12/2/10
What makes someone an adult? Do you ever finish growing up? 1/25/11
What are some expectations set on you by others? How do these compare to expectations you put on yourself? 4/5/11
Expectations put upon me by others are that I do well in school. I expect myself to do this also, but I also expect my self to do well in things other than academics. These expectations are somewhat different, because I expect more from myself than others expect from me.
I think my work says that I am a very creative person and I put a lot of detail into my work. I love to use keynote, because it allows me to put color and be creative on my work. As viewers, you will see a lot of me in my work in the way I write and the way that I express myself. For example, the memoir vignette, you will learn a lot about me just by reading it. I think my strengths in English are comprehending the work and doing the work on time. Also, I think that I’m good at participating in class and engaging in the conversations that we have.
Macbeth Character Analysis:
This project was to demonstrate the one of the characters growth throughout the book. The goal was to have 10 quotes that the character has said and illustrate the transformation of MacBeth or Lady MacBeth.
Thesis Statement: Lady Macbeth is a greedy person but then turned into a regretful person who was soaked with guilt.
In Act 1 scene 3 of Macbeth, Lady Macbeth receives a letter from Macbeth stating that he received a prophesy from the witches that he was going to be Thane of Cawdor and will be the King. Aside, Lady Macbeth reads, “Glamis thou art Cawdor, and shalt be what thou art promised. Yet do I fear thy nature” (Act 1, scene 5, lines 14-15). What this means here is that Lady Macbeth now wants this phophesy to come to pass. Now, Lady Macbeth is going to do everything that she can in order to make this happen. She fears his nature or his personality because he could react a certain way that Lady Macbeth wouldn’t like.
In Act 1 scene 5, Lady Macbeth wants to become like a man so that she can have the guts and the strength to kill Duncan. Her desire now is the make sure that she forms an alliance with Macbeth and set out to kill Duncan so that he will no longer become Thane of Cawdor. To herself, Lady Macbeth talks to the spirits and says, “Come you mortal spirits…unsex me here and fill me from the crown to the toe topful of direst cruelty…make thick my blood” (Act 1, scene 5, lines 39-42). What she means is that she no longer wants to be like a woman. She wants her blood to be thick as a man and so that she can think and fight like a man. She want the “feel” of a man so that she can have the ability to set out for Duncan.
In Act 1 scene 5 of Macbeth, Macbeth and Lady Macbeth are talking and Macbeth states to Lady Macbeth that Duncan is coming home and staying over for dinner. At this time, Macbeth is unaware of what Lady Macbeth wants to do, so he is unmindful of what she wants to do. Lady Macbeth states to Macbeth, “O never shall sun that morrow see…” (Act 1, scene 5, lines 59-60). What she means is that Duncan will not live to see tomorrow because by that time, he will be considered dead.
In Act 1 scene 5, “Lady Macbeth thinks that she has everything under control and she’s going to do this all by herself. She is now starting to be very selfish and egotistical about killing Duncan. She explains all of what she is planning to do to Macbeth and says, “Only look up clear. To alter favor ever is to fear. Leave all the rest to me.” (Act 1, scene 5, lines 70-72). This means, she’s telling Macbeth to not to worry about what she is planning to do because she has it “under control”. Lady Macbeth’s ego is really getting to her, which causes her to act out in this way.
Act 1 scene 7, Lady Macbeth feels like Macbeth is trying to back out from killing Duncan. She also feels like he’s thinking twice about what he is going to do especially if it’s going to lead to him getting into some trouble. Lady Macbeth says, “And to be more than what you were, you would be so much more the man.” (Act 1, scene 7, lines 50-51). This means, she doesn’t think that Macbeth has the guts to kill Duncan anymore and that he doesn’t have the courage anymore. He is second guessing himself because he thinks that he is going to fail. That shows that Macbeth is now thinking that he isn’t thinking like a man and doesn’t show any signs of being a man. Lady Mac manipulates him to try and get inside of his head.
In Act 1 scene 7, Lady Macbeth is now planning in what they should do in order to kill Duncan. Her plan is to set him up along with his two chamberlains. She says to Macbeth, “Soundly invite him, his two chamberlains, will I with wine and wassail…shall be a fume, and the receipt of reason…when in swinish sleep their drenched natures lies as in a death.” (Act 1, scene 7, lines 64-69). She means that she is going to get the chamberlains and the guards drunk so that they won’t be aware of what is going to happen. She is later going to have Macbeth sneak in and kill Duncan. She is now being very mean and self-centered.
In Act 5 scene 1, Lady Macbeth has been found sleep walking with a light. The gentlewoman and the doctor are trying to figure out what she is saying. She is now regretting the fact that she has pressured Macbeth into killing Duncan. For her, she is now feeling guilty. While in her sleep, she says, “ Here’s the smell of the blood still. All the perfumes of Arabia will now sweeten this little hand. Oh, oh, oh!” (Act 5, scene 1, lines 50-51). What she means is that she still smells and feels the smell of the blood of Duncan. The Gentlewoman and the doctor found out that she was apart of killing him. Mentally, she is not feeling well and is struggling because she can’t figure out how to get the blood off of her.
In Act 5, scene 1, Lady Macbeth is sleep walking and is talking about her killing Banquo and Duncan. She says, “Out, damned spot!” (Act 5, scene 1, line 35). She is rubbing her hands because she still see’s blood and it is reminding her of the killing of Banquo. She is now blameworthy of what she did.
In Act 5 scene 1, Lady Macbeth claims that Banquo is now dead and that he is in his grave. She doesn’t realize that she is saying this but this is big news to the gentlewoman and the doctor. She says, “I tell you yet again, Banquo’s buried. He cannot come out the grave.” (Act 5, scene 1, lines 62-62). This means that Lady Macbeth is soaked with guilt now since she was the cause of killing Banquo. Not only is she talking to herself, but she is talking to Macbeth because she wants him to know that her work is done and now Macbeth is now king of Cawdor.
In Act 5, scene 1, Lady Macbeth is now going to go to bed and at least try to relax. She see’s that what she has done can not be undone so, she’s full of regret. Still sleep walking, she states, “ To bed, to bed; there’s knocking at the gate. Come, come, come, come, give me your hand. What’s done cannot be undone. To bed, to bed, to bed.” ( Act 5, scene 1, lines 64-66). That was the last time that Lady Macbeth had spoken until she died. She was not feeling well. She died full with regret and guilt.
These quotes all follow the path of Lady Macbeth. She was a greedy person who wanted anything and everything just do that her husband could be king of Cawdor. When she was done her deed, she realized that what she did was wrong and now she’s filled with guilt. She had to suffer the consequences of what she has done.
This project was to take a snapshot of my life and make it into a small story. This was to utilize and create my personal piece of non-fiction. A vignette is a stand a lone story that you can fit into the bigger picture of your life story.
The Miracle Child
What? When? How? Why? She’s not going to live? Inconceivable. Confused, maybe? Unimaginable. Scared. What is going to happen to her at such a young age? Is she going to live or die? Is she going to live to see 5, 10, or even 15 years old? (Repetition for effect)These are just some of the questions that probably ran through my parents mind when they found out that I was really sick and possibly not going to live. Come to find out, I had this horrible sickness called sepsis. It was a horrible condition in which my body was fighting a severe infection that has spread to the bloodstream.
It was on December 17, 1996, that I was transported to the hospital at such a young age. No one knew what was going wrong with me. Not even my parents knew. They only suspected that something wasn’t normal with me. When I arrived at the hospital, I was immediately hooked on to tubes and machines. I had tubes going in and out of my body. Breathing tube, feeding tube… You name it, I had it. After doing multiple tests and blood work, the doctor noticed that I had this rare sickness and that there was a possibility that I wasn’t going to live. The doctor said, “I’m so sorry Mr. and Mrs. Maddox but your daughter has a chance of not living.” (Dialogue) It got even worse. I had to stay at the hospital for four months. (Dialogue) I wonder how they could’ve felt. Maybe scared, mad, or even upset. I just know that they weren’t happy.
Hours have gone by. Tick, tock, tick, tock, (repetition for effect) and I’m still hooked onto these machine. Next thing you know, most of all of my family was there in the hospital praying for me and staying at the hospital for days waiting to hear any new news from the doctors. My mom was so scared. She didn’t want me to go, especially since I was her 5th child to be conceived, but only one to survive. My mom had 4 miscarriages before she birthed me. I bet that had to be tough for her and my dad. It would have been hard for her to hear that I have passed away. All they could do is not just depend on what the doctors said but what God had to say. They knew that if it was my time to go, then it was just my time to go. Would it be devastating? Yes. However, things would not have made sense as to why I would survive the birth but not the sickness. If I was the 5th child to be conceived but then the only one to survive, then there had to be a reason why I was the only one to make it into what you call life. Hmmm. Now that I try to look back and listen to the stories and the pictures, I realize that as a get older, I have a story to tell and let people know that miracles do happen.
It was the cold morning of Christmas Eve on December 24, 1996, my mom was shopping at the Kids R’ Us shopping for gifts. As she was walking down the aisle, she bumped into this lady. Of course when you bump into someone, you say excuse me. The lady said, “Just know that your daughter will be fine and everything is going to be okay.” (Dialogue). My mom never met this woman or ever heard of her a day in her life. As soon as my mom turned around and looked back, the lady wasn’t there anymore. She looked for her all around the store. But the funny thing is that they were in the back of the store so the lady couldn’t have gone far. My mom looked high and low like she was investigating a crime scene (metaphor). It was like she was an angel sent from heaven just to let my mom know that I was going to okay. (simile). To hear that being said, I bet it was a sigh of relief. She went back to the hospital knowing that everything was going to be fine. Still, there was like a sea of people just standing around waiting and waiting and waiting. At least I know that my family cared enough about me!
I stayed at the hospital for a couple more days. Doctors were monitoring me making sure I was doing okay. When they said that I was going to be okay, it was a miracle that I was even going to survived. I could have died right there on the spot. However, there was some bad news. The doctors said that I had to take physical therapy for a whole 6 months. I had to learn how to breathe and how to sit up again. Having all of those breathing tubes coming in and out of my body just messed me up big time!
As I look at the pictures of when I was sick, what I saw was something that I knew wasn’t going to control me for the rest of my life or even take my life. I know that I have a purpose for living on this earth and I am destined to do great things. It’s a miracle that I survived and I’m glad that I am here 15 years later healthy, and just fine!
The Odyssey Compare/Contrast Essay
The quarter 3 benchmark was to compare and contrast the book “The Odyssey” to either the movie “O’ Brother Where Art Thou?” or someone that you may know or a movie that you have watched. This was to see if there are any similarities and differences between the characters.
The Odyssey (Penelope)
O’ Brother Where Art Thou? (Penny)
In the movie, “O Brother Where Art thou?” and the book The Odyssey both of the characters have families that they have to provide for and take care of them. The three points are that Penny decides not to take back her husband however, Penelope does. Both of these characters make decisions that can either jeopardize or bring together their families. Even though Penelope and Penny share many qualities, Penny is very selfish and unwilling to wait to work it out with her husband.
Both Penelope and Penny show signs of untrust when rumors were going around that their husbands were back. While Everett and Delmar return back to Everett’s hometown, they all find out that Penny is engaged to Vernon T. Waldrip. He is willing to get back with her and tries to convince her that he has changed. However, she doesn’t believe that he has changed and he is the same way as he was before. She tests him to see if he would give her back the ring that she deserves. Unfortunately, he doesn’t have the ring because it’s ten thousand feet below the water. As a result, she does not reunite herself with him. Instead, she stays with Vernon. This shows that Penny was very hurt by the fact that her own husband was sent to jail and she doesn’t want to get back with him. Similarly, when Penelope first finds out that her husband is back from being gone for 20 years, she doesn’t believe the suitors. During this time, Penelope is still faithful. However, she tests Odysseus and was asking him questions to see if it was really him. She said, “Come, hand him the bow now, and let’s just see . . . “ (Homer, The Odyssey 21. Line 375). She says this so that she can test the suitors to see if they can shoot the arrow and hit the target.
Even though Penelope and Penny may have some similarities, they also share some differences. Penny is not willing to wait for Everett. When he was sent to jail, she wanted to divorce him. Overtime, she ends up being engaged to Vernon. She tells her children that Everett was hit by a train and that he’s dead. This shows that Penny was making decisions based on her feelings and what she wanted to do. In contrast, Penelope was always faithful to her husband. She spoke very highly of him. She loved him a lot and always cared about him as well. For example, while Odysseus was gone, she tricks the suitors so that she won’t have to get engaged to any of them.
Penelope and Penny are very different when their husbands come back. When Everett comes back, Penny doesn’t want to listen when he asks to come back into her life and their children’s lives. She feels this way because she thinks that he is not a good provider for her and her children. Everett has no job and would have no way of taking care of his family. Instead, Vernon has a job and is able to provide and take care of the family. Unlike Penny, Penelope takes Odysseus back. After she tests him, she is still the faithful wife that she was before he even left. This shows that she stays committed to the relationship that she and Odysseus have. For example, when Odysseus comes back she said, “Odysseus- don’t flare up at me now, not you, always the most understanding man alive!” (Homer, The Odyssey Line. 235 -36) This shows that Penelope trust Odysseus and loves him very much and they sill have trust in each other.
Penelope and Penny do share some things with each other. However, they share a lot of differences. Both of their personalities are different therefore causing them to not have many similarities with one another. Penelope and Penny share similar qualities that effected them when rumors where going around that their husbands had retuned back. Penelope made her decision to stay with her husband and remain faithful to him as well as her children. Unfortunately, Penny decided not to because of her Everett’s choice that resulted him to going to jail. Both families were infected by this in a good and bad way. In all, both families made a choice that they thought would benefit them as well as their families.
This creative piece was to describe either Macbeth or Lady Macbeth in how the have changed throughout the book. We were able to be creative and put in it our own way. It was a fun project to it.
First Independent Reading
In the beginning of year, we were assigned to read a book and write a book review on it. The book that I choose was called “Blessings In Disguise” by ReShonda Tate Billinsley. Not only did we have to read the book, but we had to understand what was being read and how comprehend it.
The book that I read was called “Blessings In Disguise” written by ReShonda Tate Billingsley is the second, of an 8 part novel series listed in Essence Magazine as a #1 bestseller. The book is a continuation of the first book, “Nothing But Drama”, which is about four teenage girls – Camille, Angel, Jasmine, and Alexis – who experience difficulties, trials, and conflict as friends. ReShonda also wrote many other books such as: “My Brothers Keeper”, which she received the Gold Pen Award for Best New Author from the Black Writer’s Alliance.
“Blessings In Disguise” centers around two of the four teens, Jasmine and Alexis, who find themselves dealing with the dysfunctions, chaos, and challenges in their families and personal lives. Jasmine is raised by a single parent, who is in search for her dad. Jasmine is sick and tired of always being the one trying to sustain her family together and always cleaning up after everyone, so she escapes from her home and tries to find her father to go and live with him. Alexis seems to have the “perfect life”, however, no one can see what’s she’s really going through as her parents are heading to file for divorce. Both of the girls are terribly tempted to do something substantial that they know will get them into a lot of trouble but instead do it anyway. My favorite character in the book is Jasmine because she goes through a lot as far as family and friends. She tries to find her way through life and is searching for someone to talk to that will understand her in a way that they would know where she is coming from. After the reader is finished with this book, I think they should learn to obey their parents and never to steal. Following these lessons will help them in their everyday lives.
I can relate to the story more on Jasmines side. Even though I don’t have any siblings and my parents aren’t divorced, I have felt like I have wanted to run away and try to live a life that I wasn’t living in the past. I have never done any of the things that Alexis and Jasmine has done but I can relate to how they felt.
I really like this book and I hope to read the rest of the books to see what will happen has far as their relationships and attitudes. Some of its strengths are that the author explains each of the characters in a way that the reader is able to understand. To me, this book doesn’t have any weaknesses. I can apprehend the book very well and know where each of the characters is coming from. There is nothing in the book that I will try and change.
I would defiantly recommend this book to other teenagers to read because it teaches them life lessons that they can carry out and take with them in their everyday lives. Readers will take pleasure in the captivating characters, emotional power, and the down to earth messages of this novel and the other books that follow.
Four Top Journals:
Throughout the year, we occasionally were assigned to write in our journals. Sometimes, we got the chance to write what ever we wanted, however, there were times when we had to answer questions that the teacher wrote down.
Journal entry #47
Do I like being a female? Of course!! I wouldn’t change it for the world. However, in being a female, comes a lot of challenges physically, mentally, and emotionally. From deciding what to wear everyday, to body parts changing, to mood swings…it’s just a lot. Sometimes it can be very painful and uncomfortable each month. Each female is different and they can either take the pain or just can’t. These are the times that I wish I was a boy just for the couple of days. For me, I have mood swings and don’t want to be bothered with anyone. Sometimes I get so sick that I don’t even come to school. Not only the physical changes that I as well as a lot of other females go through, but we also go through a lot of emotional changes. Personally, they can get in the way a lot because you would have feelings that later on you would think about it and then it would be stupid that you even thought about it.
I would like to be a boy and have the mentality of a boy for one day just so that I can see and experience how they function on a day to day basis. To me, it’s kind of difficult to understand them and know their ways; for example, how they think, what they do when a girl walks by, etc. I think that it would be cool, however, I wouldn’t want to go through this for a long time. I think being a girl is better than being a boy J
Journal Entry: December 16, 2010
I really never wanted to be apart of a group. For me, it was mostly me hanging out with the same group of people. Hanging out with that same group of people has made me realize that hanging out with the same people is not making myself available to other people. I always that when those group of people weren’t in school, I thought that I was alone and there was no one for me to talk too.
But I realized that if I continue to hang with the same people over and over, then I won’t ever make myself available now and later in the future. Now that I am older, I now go up to people and introduce myself and network. Im not really good at meeting new people because I can be very shy in the beginning. It sometimes feels awkward, but I make the best of it.
Journal Entry: February 2, 2011
To me, a hero is someone that you look up too as a person of integrity. That person might have done something nice or has helped someone out in hard times. A hero must be someone that you can look up too and count on for anything possible. That doesn’t mean to take advantage of them but use them for legitimate reasons. They also are people who have wisdom and can guide you threw the roughest times that you may encounter in your life.
Journal Entry: April 4, 2011
Some of the expectations that are put upon by others aren’t always the best. They could be sometimes be uncomfortable for me and I won’t want to accomplish those expectations. On the other hand, some of the expectations that make me “uncomfortable” is good for me to bring me out of y comfort zone and explore and experience different things. Some of the expectations that are put upon me are to continue to get good grades, and continue to do what I do. Also, they want me to be a leader and not so much a follower. Some expectations for myself are too also get good grades, be an example for others that are younger than me, and some times older people.
I think my strengths in English are coming up with ideas for papers. I would pick topics that no other person would pick to write about, or I would come up with reasons that no other people would even think about having. Also, I tend to be different that everybody else, so I bring different ways of doing things.
I think my weaknesses in English are participating in class and writing papers sometimes. Also, reading aloud in class. I am always scared in all classes that I will say the wrong answer or that my idea is stupid, so I don’t say it. I would always try to get A’s on my papers in English, but it never worked out well. I would always get B’s, when I tried so hard to A’s. Reading aloud is very hard for me, the fact that everybody is listening to me read, scares me. I will get nervous and then mess up reading.I would work on writing better, reading aloud, and not being so shy in front of class. I would work on being more confident about my answers and ideas so, I could say it to the class. I would work on reading aloud by reading to my friends or family. I would work on my writing by proofreading my work more than once and then give it to the teacher to read. So finally, I could get it to be an A.
My portfolio shows that I am a hard working student. For every project or assignment I never go anything lower than a B. That might not say how good of a student I am, but it does show that I work hard and try my best most of the time. As viewers I would expect you to see how different my work is. The work I do is unique, different than most peoples work, but it works for me. Getting into class reading assignments is one of my strengths in English. For example when we did Macbeth in this class I did an amazing job on the projects we were supposed to do. I procrastinate and I don’t like reading a lot, this can be considered as o huge weakness in English class. I always wait until the last minute to do my projects or to read a book for a book report. This can really hurt me in the future and I need to work on it. It was fun looking through all of my past projects and seeing how I grew in vocabulary and over all work since the beginning of September. I didn’t come across many issues in my work, but there were a couple of things I could have done better on. Some of those things are my first Independent reading project and my Vignette. I resolved these issues by reflecting on what I needed to change and what could have made it better. I am most proud of two pieces that I did in this class and they are my Me Magazine and my Macbeth Creative Piece. I am most proud of my Me Magazine because it was the first project that I did in this class and I really talked about my life, I never wrote so much in my life before I started going to this school. At previous schools before SLA we never had acting class or got a chance to do something really creative, my Macbeth Creative piece is an imovie of me acting as Lady Macbeth so obviously it is pretty special to me. I am proud of all of the work I did this year and I want you to see my best creations showcased.
Macbeth Character Analysis
In the beginning, Macbeth was any normal person – polite, kind-hearted, and likeable - but by the end of the play, his heart was cold and his mind was evil. Macbeth never second-guessed anything and he was just looking at his position to stay king. Nobody could get in his way because he couldn’t be killed be a person birthed from a woman.
In Act 1, Scene 3: Macbeth received a prophecy from the witches that he is going to be the Thane of Cawdor and then the King of Scotland. He stated: “If good, why do I yield to that suggestion. Whose horrid image doth unfix my hair? And make my seated heart knock at my ribs, against the use of nature?” Macbeth is basically wondering why he is thinking about murdering King Duncan, but the thought is so horrifying that it makes his hair stand on the back of his neck and his heart pound against his chest.
In Act 1, Scene 6, and Duncan: Duncan has come over for dinner and is looking Macbeth, so he can praise him. Duncan says, “Conduct me to mine host. We love him highly and shall continue our graces towards him.” This is important because even other people can see how kind-hearted Macbeth can be. Duncan trusts him with everything and honors Macbeth.
In Act 1, Scene 7, and Lady Macbeth: Lady Macbeth is trying to convince Macbeth to go with the witches’ prophecy. Macbeth wants to be king but he can’t take the risks needed – killing Duncan. Quote: “Like the poor cat i’ th’ adage?” In this quote, Lady Macbeth is calling Macbeth a sad poor cat that is too scared to do anything. This is important because even Macbeth’s wife is saying that Macbeth is too polite to kill Duncan. Also, that he isn’t brave at all.
In Act 2 Scene 1, and Macbeth: Macbeth is convincing himself to Duncan. He is thinking about all the good things, so he is basically pumping up himself up. The beginning of the soliloquy Macbeth is nervous and doesn’t want to do it, but by the end, he is pumped and ready. Quote: “I go, and it is done. The bell invites me. Hear it not, Duncan, for it is a knell. That summons thee to heaven or to hell.” This quote is important because this is where Macbeth starts to become evil. He finally decides after a little convincing from Lady Macbeth and himself that he will kill Duncan. From here, everything goes down hill.
In Act 2 Scene 3, and Macbeth: Macduff and Banquo came to visit Macbeth’s castle, but they found out that Duncan is dead. They tell Macbeth and Lady Macbeth who play it off, as they had nothing to do with the killing. Quote: “Renown and graceful is dead. The wine of life is drawn, and mere lees is left this vault to brag of.” This quote is important because this shows how evil Macbeth can be. He is now hiding the fact that he killed Duncan to all his close friends and that had any idea of it. Macbeth is using words to praise Duncan, even though he killed him.
Banquo comes over for the feast and tells Macbeth that he may be late for the dinner, Act 3 Scene 1. Macbeth is worried about what Banquo will do because he knows about the prophecy that the witches said. Macbeth is alone and says to himself: “Rather than so, come fate into the list. And champion me to th’ utterance.” When Macbeth states that he is planning on killing Banquo, he doesn’t even hesitate with his decision. Macbeth’s servant then brings in the murders and tells them what the plan will be. This quote is important because this is where Macbeth’s evil rises, he doesn’t even talk to Lady Macbeth about it. Macbeth doesn’t talk to anybody about it. He is determined to stay in his position of being king and nobody can stop him now, but there are people that want him to be stopped.
Act 3 Scene 6: Macbeth’s feast has just ended and it is the next day, Lennox is talking to another Lord about Malcolm, Macduff, and Macbeth. Lennox is suspicious about Macbeth; he thinks that Macbeth killed Duncan and Banquo. Lennox clearly states “May soon return to this out suffering country under a hand accursed” which basically states he wants Malcolm to come back and take out Macbeth as king. Lennox thinks Macbeth is a tyrant and a liar, this is important because even other people don’t trust Macbeth. Lennox is having a conversation with another Lord which may mean that he wants to know if his theory are also, suspected.
The witches has told Macbeth another prophecy but this time with apparitions - Act 4 Scene 1 – they tell him to fear Macduff, the woods, and Banquo’s children. Macbeth takes this prophecy into his own hands and says this “The castle of Macduff I will surprise, seize upon Fife, give to th’ edge o’ th’ sword his wife, his babies, and all unfortunate souls that trace him in his line.” Macbeth is ready, the witches just gave him advice and he is once again taking it upon himself to deal with it. Basically, Macbeth is planning on going to Macduff’s castle and killing everybody. This is very important because Macbeth is once again being cold-hearted and he doesn’t even hesitate with this plan. He knows that Macduff could stop him from becoming king, so he is killing everything that Macduff loves. Macbeth doesn’t know that other people aren’t to sure about him.
Act 4 Scene 3, Macduff is in England to have a chat with Malcolm. In this chat, Malcolm basically complains to Macduff about his father – Duncan – being killed and that he was blamed for it and Macduff just listens. Malcolm tells Macduff that he suspects that Macbeth killed Duncan. This is what Malcolm says, “This tyrant, whose sole name blisters our tongues, was once thought honest; you have loved him well; he hath not touched you yet.” Malcolm is calling Macbeth the tyrant and that it hurts to say his name because he is traitor. Macbeth use to an honest man and people loved him especially Macduff, Malcolm says. But, now he is doing reckless things, but Macduff doesn’t know about it because Macbeth hasn’t hurt him yet
In Act 5 Scene 5, Lady Macbeth is sick from guilt and Macbeth is preparing for the war that is supposed to happen. Lady Macbeth has just screamed and after this Macbeth thinks about himself in the past and present self. Macbeth says, “ I have almost forgot the taste of fears. The time has been my senses would have cooled
To hear a night-shriek, and my fell have hair would at a dismal treatise rouse and stir, as life were isn’t. I have supped full with horrors. Direness, familiar to my slaughterous thoughts, cannot once start me.” In this quote, Macbeth is talking about when he was scared of everything, when he was kinder, and didn’t have courage for anything. Now, Macbeth believes that he is prepared for any scary thing he has seen because he had many horrific things happen or done by him, that horrible things are familiar to him now.
By the end of the play, all his followers were following him out of fear but everybody was scared to do something about it. Macduff successfully kills Macbeth and give throne to the rightful owner, Malcolm. Macbeth turned into the evil cold-hearted man from being a kind-hearted man who followed the power of suggestion. Macbeth turned into a person that he could never be and got killed for it. In the end, nobody should ever try to be what they know they can never be because there will be a downfall in the end.
Maybe Love Isn’t Forever
I hoped and dreamed that he wouldn’t leave, but their life was such a hell being together. (Opener) Now my parents, they put up a front. Every time they come to my school for a meeting or conference, they have on a front
“Nobody needs to know our situation,” my mom says.
“But, some people already know cause it isn’t a big deal.”
“I don’t want anybody teasing you.”
“It is fine, nobody cares anyway.” (Dialogue)
I always thought that parents would always be in love, be together forever, and be happy together. (Magic Three) I was wrong, and I realized it when I was just 7 years old.
5 A.M waking up in a cold room like any other day like every other day. At my age, no one should know about this time of day. The house was dark as a cave (Simile); I rolled out of bed and into the bathroom. The house, it feels different. It is like the house is angry, maybe even sad about something. (Personification) Maybe, I should just ignore it. My teeth are now brushed and they are white as pearls. (Simile) and off I go to get some breakfast with my parents! I walk in the kitchen; there isn’t a piece of bacon to be found, or my dad. My mom is standing in the kitchen alone with this blank expression that I don’t recognize. “Morning, Dakota,” (Dialogue) my mom says in a monotone voice. Her tone, her eyes, and her posture it is different. (Magic Three) I can’t identify what it is, but it isn’t happy and it isn’t tired.
“There isn’t breakfast today,” she says.
“Dad and I need to talk to you about something.”
“Is it bad? Cause you seem sad.”
“You won’t be happy about it.” (Dialogue)
What could I not be happy about? Whatever it is, my dad always makes the best of it.
My dad, his footsteps, they aren’t peppy. They are loud and sad. The floor vibrates, more than usually. I can barely keep still. I want to see what is going to happen. I run over to my dad fast as a cheetah, (Simile) “HI DAD,” (Dialogue) I say enthusiastically. “Hello Dakota.” (Dialogue) We walk over to my mom. Her eyes, I can see them better now and I could see the horrible emotion that filled them. Puffy, red, and cloudy, it is like somebody just punched her in the eyes but, they haven’t swollen up yet. (Simile, Magic Three) I look at my dad. His eyes, his breathing, and his clothes, they are all out of sorts. (Magic Three) He is never this messy.
“What is going on,” I ask cautiously.
“Your dad and I, we need to talk to you about something important.” My mom states firmly.
“What is it? I am shaking in my pjs!”
“Your mom and I have been having some problems. Problems that aren’t getting ironed out.”
“What kind of problems?”
“Your dad and I aren’t getting along as well, as we use to.”
“WHAT? What does that even mean? You guys love each other and you are supposed to get along, perfectly. I’ve never seen you guys argue.(Dialogue)
The tension in the house becomes thicker. The house creaks, waiting in anticipation for the answer (Personification). The answer isn’t coming fast enough. I stare at my parents, in agony. I want, need, desire to know what it is going on.(Magic Three) Am I too young? Will I not be able to understand? I just want to know. My mom, she hasn’t said anything. My mom is holding on to the table as if it keeps her from falling. My dad is holding on to the wall like he is an old man and needs a walker (Simile). I am frightened, what if somebody died? I don’t know what I would do. I need answers and I need them now. TALK, PLEASE!
“Your father and I need some time off.”
“Cheryl, don’t lie to her. This time is off, Dakota. It is going to last forever.”
“WHAT! WHAT! I DON’T UNDERSTAND!”
“Your dad and I are separating. He has to move out.”
“SEP-ER-ATING? What does that mean?”
“Dakota, your mom and I aren’t getting along. We argue a lot more than is normal.”
“Wait…Dad. You are leaving…forever?”
“Yes, Dakota. I can’t live here anymore.” His voice is cracking like he is a teenage boy going through puberty (Simile).
“Dakota, this isn’t your fault. Your dad and I just don’t love each other anymore. We need to become different people”
“You said that love last forever! This isn’t forever!”
“I know. But remember, your mom and I will still be your parents, even though we aren’t together. We will still love you. I will still love you. You are my daughter, I will never stop loving you.”
“Dakota, mommy loves you. I will always love you.”
“Who do I live with?’ (Dialogue) I say as the tears fall like a stream from my eyes, to my nose, to my chin (Simile, Magic Three)
“You will be living with me. Your dad will be moving in with somewhere else.”
“Dad, you can’t leave! I need you! Your hugs when I have awful days! Your jokes when I need cheering up. You..can’t..leave!”(Dialogue)
I am yelling and they don’t even seem to care. The room quiets down and I hear my mom sobbing. She has no reason to cry, it is not like she loves him anymore. I still love him and I will always love him. I have these memories and I can’t even make new ones with my dad anymore. He is basically gone. His hands, his embrace, his laugh are so warm (Magic Three) and they are leaving me. Now, I won’t be able to have them everyday, they are my own personal drugs and I am addicted. (Simile)
“I have to leave now, Dakota.”
“YOU CAN’T LEAVE!”
“I have to leave. I will be back. Not to live here, but to see you. Promise.”
“YOU CAN’T LEAVE! NOOOOOOOOOOO!”
“Don’t follow me.”
“Don’t let go.” (Dialogue)
He lets go. I am standing in the middle of my parents, my mom is holding on to me and my dad has let go of me. I haven’t let go and I need to chase him back to where he belongs. I dash after him and grab hold of his leg. He isn’t going anywhere now because I won’t let him. The scent of tears travel to my nose, they are my dad’s. (Imagery) I didn’t know tears existed in my dad’s body. I thought he was too manly to have tears or to even cry. I feel his huge arms picking me up from his leg to his chest. My forehead is gently kissed as tears spill on to me. My dad’s shirt is drenched with my tears and the hallways echoes from my wails. My dad carries me back to my mother, who has fallen to the floor, and sets me down with her. She grabs hold of me and her touch is cold; (Imagery). My mom is making my dad leave the house; how can she think to even touch me. I am furious at her and try to wiggle out her grip but she just grips harder.
My dad’s footsteps become quieter. The front door opens, shuts, and my heart stops working. (Magic Three) He is officially gone and I am with my mom. There is nothing else to do. She puts me in my bed and I cry until I fall asleep. I awake later on that day and realize that what happened wasn’t a dream. I yell as if somebody just broke both my legs (Simile) and my mom comes running in. Her eyes are worst than before, which I imagine my eyes look like too. I gaze up at her, turn over, and go back to sleep.(Magic Three) I want nothing to do with her right now. She closes the door and walks to her room. Sleep comes easily because I am fragile like glass. (Simile) Just a few hours ago, all the water in my body rushed out through my eyes. (Hyperbole) Life goes on and school comes the next day. The rest of the days, months, years of my life are different. (Magic Three). I become more and more unlike the person I was before the separation. I am stronger but I am weaker. I don’t fall for peer pressure but I get mad at meaningless things. Things like somebody bumping into me and saying excuse me. Things that I didn’t notice before my dad left. I am older now and understand everything. They won’t tell me the reason why they separated because they say I don’t need to know. “Not everybody can keep up with the changes a person goes through and they eventually fall out of love,” (Dialogue) says my mom. People can’t control if they fall out of love, it just happens,”(Dialogue) says my dad. Sometimes people take on bigger roles than they should of. As the years past, I realized that my dad was never actually gone he is always still here. My dad still loves me and I see him often. I realized that things happen and marriage isn’t always for everyone. Divorce was made for a reason.
My portfolio shows my growth as a person and as a writer over the course of the year. Throughout this year my writing has improved, as you can see by my benchmarks, for each I got higher and higher marks each time, 85 to 92 then to a 96. My strength has always been to learn from my mistakes and I have truly done that this year, taking my weak areas and making then my strengths. One area I do need to work on still is my design. Creating this portfolio was as hard as I first thought. I have always looked back on my projects to make them top notch. The hardest part would have been when I had to shorten some of my statements in my projects due to a lot of content. I am most proud of my 3rd Benchmark because it is the results of all my hard work throughout the year.
Almost every English class the students would walk in and see a journal on the board. The students would sit down and do the journal. Here are 6 of the many journals that were given and my responses to them.
Journal #1: Have you ever faced what seemed like an impossible task? How do you get through it (if you did…)? Were you alone?
GROUP PROJECTS! I really don’t like them, especially when your “team mates” don’t do what they are supposed to. This event happened in about 7th or 8th grade. It was a project that was worth 20% of your final grade. I had to get this done. I collaborated with my team mates and we decided what each of us were supposed to do for our project. But one of the people in my group was a horrible partner that didn’t do any work they were supposed to. The day before the project was due she skipped school. So the other two people and myself had to do that part of the project in 20 minutes and put it on the poster board. But we didn’t have a computer to type it up on. So we had to write it by hand. Ends up we got an A so everything turned out ok.
Journal #2: Why write?
I write to express myself. When I have no one else to talk to but myself, my pen and my paper. I feel like people don’t understand me sometimes so I go and sort of talk to myself and think about what to do about a certain situation. Or maybe I just want to write about life, something inspirational so when I need advice I can always go back and read it over. This is why I write.
Journal #3: If you really knew me…
If you really knew me you would know that in public I seem like a happy soul a person who has a care free life (which sometime I do). But on the inside I am an angry person. I do have anger issues. If someone pushes me over or close to the edge I will flip, go over board and not be able to control my actions. I do have to go to therapy to try to take control of my problem. If you really knew me you would know that I have anger issues.
Journal #4: How important is it to fit in?
People who know me know that it is every important for to be liked. I need to fit in to feel good about myself. I need to have friends, I need to feel like if I’m going to fall someone will be there to catch me. I love being liked by people it makes me feel good.
Journal #5: What are people’s expectations of you? What are your own?
Peoples expectations of me are to do well in school, to be responsible and wary and to be me. It is hard doing all these things and when people have these things on their shoulders and more they crumble under the pressure. My expectations are the same but a little bit more strict. When I do things I want myself to go above and beyond and when I don’t I feel bad about myself. It is hard living up to other peoples standards or expectations, but it is even harder living up to your own.
Journal #6: What is your response to seeing/reading and saying the ”N” word?
Seeing this word all over this book is hard and upsetting but at the same time ok. It is ok to see because it reminds you how things in the past really were and how things have changed for the better. It is refreshing to see how well African Americans are treated today knowing that things have changed forever and for the better.
This was my first English Benchmark, which was to analyze 10 quotes out of Macbeth and make a thesis on Macbeth or Lady Macbeth. I chose Lady Macbeth and got 85 as my grade.
Lady Macbeth Examination
By Nicholas Murray
Thesis: Lady Macbeth is a strong willed and wicked woman in the beginning of the play, but in the end she was not strong enough and too fragile to live with what she has done or keep her title as queen.
In act I scene 5, page 16 Lady Macbeth has received a letter From Macbeth, containing the prophecy of being Thane of Cawdor then King. He tells her that he has already been named Thane of Cawdor, which fills Lady Macbeth with joy. She (alone) then says, “That which cries ‘Thus thou must do’ if thou have it;/ And that which rather thou dost fear to do/ Than wishest should be undone”(lines 23-25). Basically, what Lady Macbeth is saying that there is only one-way Macbeth will be king and she does not think Macbeth is up to it. Since This is the first time seeing Lady Macbeth, a bad first impression is mad. She is pondering what must be done for Macbeth to be king, which includes sinful things. This first impression shows us that Lady Macbeth has an evil mind.
In act I scene 5, page 17 Lady Macbeth confirms what she is going to do. She has now become aware that king Duncan is coming to their home with Macbeth so she thinks more about what must be done. She says, “Come, you spirits/ That tend on mortal thoughts, unsex me here,/ And fill me from the crown to the toe topful/ of dearest cruelty” (Lines 39-42). Lady Macbeth is asking the spirits to make her bold like a man. By “unsex me she” means she wants to be cruel like a man not kind like a woman. She knows that for Macbeth to be king Duncan must die. She does not think Macbeth is cruel enough to kill him so she wants to be the cruel one and pull the strings. This gives the reader a clearer picture of what kind of person Lady Macbeth is. It shows that she might not be as bold now, but she wants to be bolder. That fact that she wants the strength to kill somebody shows that she is already cold hearted.
In act II scene 2, page 27, Lady Macbeth waits alone for Macbeth. Macbeth is out executing king Duncan to become king after Lady Macbeth’s pleas. She quotes, “That which hath made them drunk hath made me bold;/ What hath quenched them hath given me fire. (An owl/ shrieks) Hark! Peace” (Lines 1-3). Lady is talking about the plan in this scene. The plan was to get the guards drunk, take their daggers when they pass out, then frame them for the murder of Duncan. She thinks that because she went through with the plan, she has become even bolder. The truth is that she is kind of scared. She must be if she was scared by an owl’s shriek. This shows her inner turmoil. She may put on a brave façade, but like anyone in this situation, she was kind of scared
In act II scene 3, page 35, the king is found dead in his room. When everyone realizes the king is dead they all panic, even Lady Macbeth. In her apparent “shock” Lady Macbeth says, “Help me hence, ho!” (Line 116). This simple line was enough for the lords to drop the talk of the king’s death, while throwing off any suspicion. Even though Lady Macbeth is kind of scared, she is able to put on a good act. Lady Macbeth must still be a strong willed person. In spite of her guilt she is un-phased.
In act III scene 2, Page 46, line 13, Lady Macbeth speaks as the new queen. The children of king Duncan have fled leaving no one to be king except for Macbeth. Macbeth enters and seems worried. She quotes, “What’s done is done” to Macbeth. Lady Macbeth sounds content as the new queen with all her goals accomplished. But she may just still be shaken by what she has done to the king. She must not want Macbeth to worry about anything so they can act like nothing happened and try to live as happy as they can. She has no intension of what she has done to found out so she just wants to keep everything as it is.
In act III scene 5, Page 56, line 142, Lady Macbeth is worried about Macbeth. After Macbeth kills Banquo, because it was prophesized that he will have more sons and they will be king, and leaves Lady Macbeth out the plan, and there is a party hosted by Macbeth, Banquo’s ghost appears but only Macbeth sees it. Lady Macbeth takes Macbeth aside and tells him, “You lack the season of all natures, sleep”. She is worried about her husband. She does not want things like this happening in her new life. At this point she is worried.
In act V scene 1, Page 84, line 35 Lady Macbeth begins to sleepwalk. In her sleep she says, “Out, damned spot! Out, I say!”. She must be talking about the blood she has on her hands after all those crimes. That much blood would drive someone mad. Her will is probably breaking.
In act V scene 1, Page 85, lines 70-71, the doctor hears all the deeds Lady Macbeth confesses in her sleep. Context: Lady Macbeth confessed all that has happened in her sleep. He says, “Unnatural deeds/ Do breed unnatural troubles”. He realizes that Lady Macbeth has done horrible things. These horrible things drove Lady Macbeth mad. Lady Macbeth is now a fragile woman.
In act V scene 3, Page 89, lines 39-41 the doctor tells Macbeth, Lady Macbeth’s condition and why she is sleepwalking. He says “Not so sick, my lord,/ as she is troubled with thick-coming fancies/ that keep her from her rest”. She is not sick but a mental trouble is making her sleepwalk. This proves that she is losing her will. She is currently unfit for the crown.
In act V scene 5, Page 92, line 16, a woman’s shriek is heard. Afterwards Seyton appears with bad news. He says, “The queen, my lord, is dead”. Lady Macbeth died and lost the crown because of the things she did to get the crown. This only happened because she had a change of heart. She lost her will became fragile and died.
Conclusion: Lady Macbeth was a very unstable woman in this play. From start to finish she went through many changes in her personality. First she had started out as an evil manipulative woman to become queen. After the plan to kill Duncan was formed she became nervous. After she became queen she had nothing to worry about. That is until Macbeth went mad with power. She couldn’t handle it all and went mad herself. Because of all the guilt she had she became weaker. Because of her weakness she died and lost the title of queen. Because she became weak her dreams were not fulfilled
This was my second Benchmark, which was a vignette about a moment in my life. I chose the time I lost my confidence and received a 92.
LOST, BUT NEVER FOUND
By Nicholas Murray
Being lost is unimaginably disorienting to some people and nearly everyone has gotten lost. To me, being lost is the worst thing and may be my greatest fear (Opening). I’ve had a tendency to lose everything I touched and it was always frustrating to me. Being unable to get a hold of something that I desperately need is my life story. They should have a lost and found for life so that when something important to you is lost, it will return to you without much effort. But no, nothing is easy in life and it is almost impossible to get what you need and get your life back in order. When you lose something it will be stolen with no regret and you will be left feeling empty forever.
Not too long ago I lost the most important thing to me, my joy, my personality, myself (Magic 3 and Repetition for effect). I lost the thing that made me, me, the thing that gave me my hope and which inspired my dreams. The thing that made me enjoy myself which made me smile everyday for no reason at all, just to be happy that I was alive. The thing that inspired me to think optimistically, which allowed me to be me, I lost my confidence, the thing, which was the key to me (Repetition for effect).
Without my confidence I was a hollow shell of my former self. My whole life I was looked down on by every one, even my own friends! Astonishing, is it not? By the end my spirit had been slightly cracked. I thought three things would be true with the start of my new life, I would never have to be made fun of again, I could express myself without any difficulty and I would always be me and no one else (Magic 3). I should have slapped myself when I thought that I could find a place that was perfect. One thing you all probably know about me is that I see a problem very differently than other people and solve it uniquely. This backfired, and during a project that was meant to define me!
The little bit of confidence I had in reserve was all I had left going into Science Leadership Academy after all the anguish (Vocabulary) I had been through. Everything was fine up until we were given our brand new, amazingly lustrous and completely free laptops (Magic 3, Vocabulary). In tech, there was a project where we were to express ourselves through billboard ads. Because of my “special” way of seeing things I misinterpreted the project by making a project based on one thing from my life, and did not directly tell about my life. So basically, I screwed up. My ad had been meant to explain that my life revolves around anime and was supposed to look like an ad that you would see in real life. The words in the ad were:
To me, it was a clever way to do the project because to also showed that when I did something, I did it creatively, with much effort and with my own special style (Magic 3). To others, I did it wrong and they thought it would be very “supportive” to make fun of my failure. I guess they thought it would build character. I was the only person who had the “bright” idea to do something like that and in that instance it was not a decent thing. Even though the project had been done and over, my failure followed me like a lost puppy (Simile). I tried to forget that day but I could not. How could I if people were reminding me with this one phrase over and over? GET PAID? I did not mind at first, but after a few hours turned into days, days turned into weeks, and weeks turned into a month (Magic 3), I was fed up.
I broke. I don’t know exactly when or how it happened, but it happened. I felt like a shattered vase (Simile, Representation). I had too many feelings to comprehend all at once; hate, confusion, sa dness, pain, alienation and more. I soon started to feel dreadful about myself. I looked down on myself and lost my optimism. I chose to try to put on a façade of trying to look happy and being talkative, but at those times I was just hiding how I really felt. I became shy when it came to being in the spotlight or answering a question because I was afraid to get it wrong. I begun to miss the old Nick, and I was hoping he would come back.
No one understood why I was so saddened by this. They thought it was just a joke, nothing more. No one understood that everyone expected me to be smart and that I had no other fate. Even one of the teachers said that I was just a nerd that would get loads of money. Because people kept on mocking me about the stupid GET PAID thing, I felt as though they thought I was poor, and since I failed at doing the project correctly I felt that I was a screw up. That and an already low amount of confidence caused me to lose hope in myself and to look back at my old life. Back at the impudent people that caused me so much anguish. Those memories hurt. I began to use my old school as a reference for everything. It was annoying to the people around me and dug me deeper into the darkness. I felt terrible about myself and my façade was disappearing, showing more and more people how I was feeling. Everyone tried to find the root of my troubles and tried to help.
My friend tried to get me to feel better and stop the moping. He had been trying to help me the best he could for the longest time. One day, when he finally found the root of my problems, he told me that he had been through the same thing with one of his projects. He told me it wasn’t a big deal. Even though he had made an awesome argument, I only felt a little better. He had told me what everyone else had told me and he did not fully understand. Soon after though, another one of my friends had me feel like I had been acting dumb. After I denied looking down on myself she said, “You do, you say you’re a weirdo, annoying, and you’re not smart (Magic 3, Dialogue). That’s not cool your nice, handsome, cool, funny and very intelligent” (Magic 3, Dialogue). That got me thinking (even if she had not completely understood me).
If I had believed what she said before this talk, before my lack of confidence, before Science Leadership Academy (Magic 3, Repetition for effect), I would have been able to shake off the insults and I would have had even more confidence and I would have been happier, but if only if I had realized this sooner. I should have always had faith in myself and forgot the haters because there would always be a person who cared even if they did not understand everything about me. Not everyone is horrible; actually, some people are conscientious (Vocabulary) towards others and can cause happiness all around.
Usually this is where the happy ending comes in. But not every story has a happy ending. For you see, it may be too late for me. I have not gotten my confidence back yet. I had my realization too late. I may feel better now, and I may have better friends, but the thing is, my confidence was lost, but never found.