“Who am I ?”, a question that disappoints many when asked. How do you explain every level of your inner self? The reflection as a man, woman, husband, wife, provider, daughter, or son isn’t easy when you’re on the outside looking into yourself... I don’t think I did to well on the whole reflecting part of all of this, I know who I am on the outside, finding what’s within is hard. To find things you’ve forced yourself to forget, the deepest thing of your personality, and your past. Many things could be put into the “ I force myself to forget drawer,” of my brain. The question “Who Am I?” comes up a lot in life, I’m am not happy with my answer to this question, maybe I’m more upset with the fact that the deepest parts of me are so far away that when I try to reach for them I drown in a sea of “ Who Am I”.
My Me Magazine represents slightly who I am on the inside but it mainly represented who I am on the outside. Maybe, I’m too young to know who am I on the inside, it took me years to understand who I am/ who I was going to be on the outside. It will take a while for me to fully understand who I am on the inside, and if I am fully happy with who I am. My Me Magazine spoke of the history of the people before me. The future of the people ahead of me. They all know who they are, and one day I’ll understand.
I kept my slide as simple and readable as possible, it allows people to be able to read it quickly and understand what I meant. I tried to make it as visible as possible with out many words so the reader or the students and teacher watching me explain what I saying don't have to stare at my slide trying to read all the words, while tuning me out as I speak and explain each word. My slide had one point, and it was me trying to figure out who I am. I tried to keep with the rule of the thirds which I found more difficult than not. People work a long time on designing billboards and ads on companies and products, it's a difficult job.
Everyday I go hunt for some frogs near the river I get about 3 frogs a day then all a sudden the frogs stopped coming I got nothing this month. i've been eating nothing but small insects but those tiny bugs do not make my hunger go away. I need to find frogs or eles i will starve to death. huh I sense something unusual. what is this a human wearing leaves and branches who has all these frogs!? I’m going fallow him out. As I sliver though the forest chase the human I see less and less of my and more of habitat and hear noses I never heard before I'm so scared. is this more humans and there knocking down the trees and digging into my home with these yellow thing I must confront them but there's too many and i'm unfamiliar with this place. I can't do anything can I- hay!!! I what is this rope around my head it no no the human again!!!.
(Sitting in classroom with friends, where they’re planning the Senior Prank for their school.) If none of you have any ideas for some pranks, I got some we could use. We could have hundreds and hundreds of bouncy balls, stuffed in a room.. or a locker! In a locker, even better! When they open the locker, these bouncy balls burst out of the locker, bouncing all over the room and hitting everyone, all congested into this tiny hallway in the building!
Or we could release.. a cow? no, a pig. Two - no three - no two. Paint two and three onto those pigs, they’ll be looking for the first forever! Or just leave a box in the middle of each hallway labeled… “Senior Prank”, nothing in the box. Except one - no, nevermind. Ooh! we could hide that fruit… what’s it called.. Durian? Yeah, durian. We could get a couple of those and hide ‘em in easy-access places throughout the whole school, it’ll be awesome. Those ideas any good? . We could replace the bouncy balls with balloons, may be easier to clean but cheaper to do.
(He starts to think in his head) Although the durian is a little too harsh… the smell will stick for the next week, and we still go to school here..The bouncy balls will be expensive… like 300 dollars for 5000 bouncy balls…Oh I got a good one.. We could find a door in the building, with only one entrance. Remove the door, add drywall, paint over it. Place plant in front of it. People completely forget about the room. Nah, too much money and work.
(Starts to get louder and more hyper than before, slowly.)
(Continues to think in his head) No I’m not bitching’ out, just sayin they all cost money and the way my money set up.. and I don’t feel like getting’ in trouble.. we’re graduating in a few days after all. Don’t want to upset the principal so bad that we don’t get to graduate. I don’t want to sit here and just plan on getting’ expelled is all. If I don’t feel like doing this, why am I being forced to? ‘Cause of you mates. You mates gettin’ me in trouble day after day, alcohol and drugs and all of that. Barely passing the grade because of all the shit you guys makin me do. Peer pressure has gotten to me because of you mates. Grades ‘re low, and almost dropped out ‘Because of you guys. I’m tired of it… so glad I’m graduating finally and get away from you fools.
I can’t believe it, I’m so confused. I just met a scout from the Pittsburgh Pirates, right after the playoff game. He told me that they have been scouting me for years now and I didn’t even know! He told me they want me come down and play for one of their Minor League teams.
Before that day, I have been planning on going to a well known college, Notre Dame. I talked to their coach and he said he feels like I would be a perfect fit for that team and I’m exactly what he has been looking for. I don’t mean to brag but, an outfielder who can play all infield position and hit. Who wouldn’t want me to play for them, and I was looking forward to going to college. I love the campus and ever since I visited, it has just had a grip on me. And most importantly a college education is important isn’t it? I know my mom wants me to get my education. All she has been talking about me going to college and how proud of me she is. I would feel bad if I let her down by not going to college like I said I would. But when she hears about the opportunity I have, won’t she still be proud and happy for me?
Going to the MLB has been my mission since I was 8 years old. My dream has always been having my name and number on the back of a professional team’s jersey, no matter what team it is. The thrill of just getting to play on the same field with the same people I watched on tv and looked up to will be enough for me. If i were to make it pro, I will become an inspiration to myself. By me playing with the superstars of the game I love, will inspire me to work hard enough to become the best player on any field that I walk on.
This is my chance! If I go to college who knows if this chance will present itself again. The opportunity to go to school will always be there. But this only happens once in a lifetime. Of course if I chose the MLB I will have to play in the Minors first. Then, my main focus will be to prove that I am Major League material.
Whenever I need help I always go to my dad. He is the one person I can always go to if I need great advice. He never makes the decision for me but he puts strong thoughts in my head so I can do it myself. He told me to follow my heart, because either way I go, I will still be taking a big jump into a new part of my life. He told me if I think I have what It takes to play on that level, then go play ball. I knew exactly what he meant. He wasn’t saying if I think I have the talent and ability to play pro baseball go do it. He was saying if I’m strong enough mentally then go do it. He was saying I can’t let the money, the popularity, and the women that come with a major league contract get to my head. And I think I can do that. NO! I know I can do that. I’ve worked to hard to be stopped right in my tracks.
So I think I made my decision. I will be taking my talents to the MLB. Man I always wanted to say that. But, I will not only be going for me.... I will be going for my parents. I will be able to provide for my parents and give them back all the love that they gave me growing up and show them how much I really care and appreciate them. That has to be the best feeling in the the world, to tell your parents they can stop working because I gotchu now.
But now here comes the moment of truth. Telling my mom my decision. Here I go….Mom…..
Staring down into the toilet, one hand holding my hair and one in my mouth debating if I should or not thinking about yesterday and how I emotionlessly I looked through my mom as she wiping her tears saying“Why are you doing this to yourself? You need to stop doing this. You are going to get sick When you are in the bathroom, leave it unlocked. Is this the reason you’ve been ‘throwing up’ (used air quotes) lately?I just thought you might be pregnant…how often do you?
I replied “I don't know” (pause)
“In the morning I’d brush my teeth and leave the water running. When I came home from school after my first meal of the day I warned the boys I had to use the bathroom and to not knock on the door. After dinner, before I took a shower while the water was running. When I snuck downstairs in the middle of the night I snuck downstairs and ate a snack, then visit after” (pause)
I would look in the mirror pull and tug, I never was satisfied. You name it I tried it. I worked out every single fucking day twice a day, it never worked fast enough. Oh! I was on that no junk food and only 2,000 calories, It came to a point that I’d only eat about only 800 a day.
Nothing ever worked. (pause)
I had given up, I ordered a small pizza and ate half of the box in my room. I had regretted it as soon as I done it.
Tears running down my face I ran downstairs to the bathroom and began to brush my teeth. I had pushed too hard and went to deep and hit my uvula I ran here got on my knees and let it out. That was the first time I discovered it, next time and every day after that I’d do it on purpose, it made me feel like everything I ate just washed away and everything would go away.
Every day I had to go to school and they’d snicker and laugh and make jokes touching the fat on my arms and my stomach. I would’nt eat lunch, because I was’nt hungry, I didn’t have an appetite. The bathroom became my sanctuary, the things I did in here was a secret and neither of us would tell.
I’d eat as much as I could as fast as I could then go upstairs run the water or play some music, sometimes both, get on my knees and find comfort in the porcelain throne.
After a while I stopped using the back of my toothbrush to do it, my index finger was good enough.This went on for a year or so, I don’t think there was a meal I kept down. I haven’t done it in a week but just really feel shitty, it’s thanksgiving and I definitely ate too much. I am here now on my knees hair tied and slung over the toilet debating on pushing my finger to the back of my throat when I hear a knock at the door. I stood up, because this was going to be the last time I was going to visit.
The Party Setup
Alex on the phone:
Hey Guys I need some ideas on decorations and pranks for the Halloween party. What do you think?
Alex got his phone and set up multi caller for his friends Cyrus, Hunter, Xavier, Liam, and Zoey for help.
They said they will help.
Alex went to get a notepad to right down pranks they suggested.
Cyrus suggested to do the upper body carrying lower body prank.
“Sound’s like a good idea.” Alex said.
Hunter suggested the scaring in disguise prank.
Hunter thinks that’s the best prank in his opinion.
“I will keep that in mind.” Alex said.
Xavier suggested a prank that he thinks will knock them of their socks off. The prank was the Crying witch prank.
“That sounds like the best prank so far” Alex said.
Liam suggested a prank that will help Alex would be the fake spider/cockroach prank. To Liam that is the most hilarious prank in the book.
“That does sound like good prank to do” Alex said.
In Zoey’s opinion, the prank that she thinks will guarantee a scare would be the the fake gruesome injury prank or the simple pop out prank.
“It is not the most creative idea, but it can still work.” Alex said. I think we should do all of the pranks. Alex suggested. Everybody agreed. Okay then, next Halloween decorations.
Cyrus suggested the gruesome, scary, fake dead body hanging off tree because it is his favorite decoration.
“Sounds like a good idea.” Alex said.
Hunter thinks it would be a good idea to use the dead animal animation decoration. Hunter says that it is the best decoration out there.
"So far, that was the best idea.” Alex said.
Xavier thinks the best decoration would be the pop up skeleton butler. He mentioned it is also known as the most startling decoration around.
“There is a possibility we could do that prank.” Alex said.
Liam and Zoey decided to either to do the the hand popping out of the ground prank or the fake body parts out of nowhere prank.
“That would be a great idea to do.” Alex said. “I have a suggestion of my own. I think we should gather all of those decorations and put them into a haunted house.” Everybody agreed on my suggestion. “Thank you guys for these suggestions I really appreciate you helping on short term notice.” Alex said. They all said it wasn’t no problem.
Alrighty, alrighty you guys please settle down this staff meeting is commencing. Now, this week wasn’t the best now, the pipes did bust in the laundry room which uhh...that was pretty bad. What did ya say son? Because they’re wood? It took 5 years for the modern day pipes to bust, we’ve had these wooden ones for almost 200 years. You need to knock some sense into that young head of yours this place is amazing. No I’m not some crazy old man! Are you guys crazy? You must be absolutely insane some of your parents and grandparents lived here. Mary, you were birthed about 100 feet away, right there in the lobby! Don’t tell me you’re really trying to knock this place down? (mumbles) Maybe we need a new manager, someone with some more appreciation for this place. No, you guys don’t appreciate it! You wanna knock it down make “bigger and better”. Ya know kids this is the bigger and better.
At one time when I was a young boy, I’ll never forget JFK visiting, he said this was the finest hotel, the only one he went to that had ice cream bar with his favorite, hot fudge. What! Whose JFK? The 35th President of the United States god dammit! His spoon and picture are hung up in the dining room. Are you dumb? You guys already got the ice cream bar replaced with a regular bar, ya messing up tradition. Mary I expected more from you, my only daughter. You know how much this place means to me.
Tearing it down means ripping apart my childhood. I was a homeless child, abandoned and hungry. Living on the streets looking for a place to live. I had no luck, all I had were bridges to jump off of or pills to take to end it all. Mr. Clermont found me and saved my life. He let me stay at his hotel, this hotel. This place gave me a job, a place to sleep, a reason to live. You know that! This place means everything to me! (sniffles) Now I know all of you think I’m some goofy old man but I just tell jokes because Mr. Clermont loved them. He was my father figure on his deathbed I told him I would keep this place alive the way it is, the way it is supposed to be forever. There are so many memories, you can’t take those away from me, but they’re trying too.
(starts to calm down) The doctor, the doctor says something's wrong with my brain. And um, I can’t lose my memories, not today. Alzheimer's can’t get to me. I have this place. Don’t take my joy and happiness away from me, not when it’s all I got left. Yeah, this place is a little old but we have custom made chandeliers with real gems in them. Who's got that? We got that! We have three awards for longest upkeep of wood pipes! Who's got that? We got that! Our Yelp reviews are always, always amazing. Who's got that? We got that! Ain’t no denying, this place is special it’s everything. I just, I just want things to be how they were before all this new stuff and I keep on forgetting the old stuff, what matters. (walks over to sit in a chair and looks up) I’m an old man (tear rolls down his cheek) who can’t even remember that his only daughter's name isn’t even Mary, it’s M-m-m-m-mia? Mia. (puts head in hands and cries)
You know, when I was made I never thought my job was… important. I thought I wasn’t making much of a difference in the world but really I was making a huge one to my community. I mean it could have been a lot worse, I have brothers who live in the hood part of the city, and cousins who only live for a few days before they’re hit by a car, or vandalized. It’s a rough world for trash cans, in this world. I could’ve had it a lot worse but somehow I ended up here! In the cleanest area of the city. I have one of me on every street corner and they help me out a lot. Every time someone throws something in my I feel like, I'm helping the community a little bit more…
OKAY! Before we get some more into that let’s talk about something different. Just like those people who just passed us I HATE it when people use my name as an insult. See my parents weren’t too original with my name, I am literally Trash the trash can this is my full name. So when somebody says “Oh my god you're absolute trash, or you look like trash.” it pisses me off, my name in the trash community is a strong name. Parents who have high hopes for their new trash cans produced name them trash if they KNOW they can get the job done. If I said “You’re absolute Sara today, or you look like Jessica, or even your outfit is so John” HOW WOULD YOU FEEL? I live to help keep the streets clean. My friends are the trash cans who are on different corners around me, or near me. From the day I was placed here I worked to help the community, even when I didn’t want to at first. After being here for ten years I think it’s time I got some recognition and not have my name used as an insult. I work so hard to make sure your community isn’t filled with litter. Yes litter because us trash cans don’t like to use the word trash to talk about filth. We work hard, I used to hated what I was made for but now I love it! I love it when my area of the city is nice and clean. The trash moto is “A clean life is a healthy life”. I just wish people would realize how much I care about the wellbeing of the community.Y’know I just want to be recognized for what I do, what we do as a race. We enjoy being filled with litter, and looking around to see that our communities are clean. I just want people to know that we try our bests to be green, and eco friendly. Without us, litter would be all over your yards, inside your homes, and line streets like an army. People would be living in filth. It’s a hard world for all of us, we just try our best to do what we were made for. I know we aren’t the greenest solution to how litter is handled but I try to be no matter what. I just want the work I do to be appreciated and noticed. I want the work that my family does to be appreciated and noticed. We are essential to a clean community and I think it’s time we are recognized.
Hello? Oh, hey Sam!
Things are good in Philly, how’s everything in Boston, and your mom Aunt Marie?
I miss you too Samantha
Omg why didn’t you come to my party I was so upset that you didn’t make it.
It’s okay I understand that you had to babysit your little sister, Sally.
Alright, Alright I’ll tell you all about my party.
Okay so, the week before the party I invited a lot of people from school, my friends outside of school, and a lot of people in our family.
But when I ask these three girls Sarah, Ana, and Maria to come to the sweet 16 and tried to give each of them the invitation, they gave me a dirty look. Maria said, “Ha you’re inviting me to your party, it’s gonna be super boring and everyone is going to talk about it, saying how bad it was and that it was lame. Then I said, “Wow, how would you know if the party didn’t even happen yet? ” as I shook my head at them. Then I said “But okay if that’s how you feel then it’s better not to invite you”,and then I had second thoughts about even throwing a party if people thought it was lame before they even showed up.
Exactly I didn’t get how they’re judging and making conclusions about my party either. And I’ve never invited them to any of my parties before.
Stephanie saw how upset I looked after walking by those cruel group of girls. She asked, “Hey Ashley, what’s wrong, are you okay? as I was looking down.
“Yeah I’m fine” I said as I sighed. Steph said “So, I heard you’re having a sweet 16 girl!” I Looking up and said “Yeah, you wanna come?” “Oh my gosh girl yes, I would love to come.”
I know right she’s one of the nicest girl in my school. I said in my head wow, Stephanie made my day just by making me feel better about my party.
The day continued and I was feeling much better after my chat with Stephanie, as the day went on in school, I asked all of my friends that I hangout with in school to come and they all agreed.
Yes, I brought my entire outfit a month before the party with my mom. My dress was knee length fitted black sparkly dress.
Well what were you going to wear?
Oh wow (laughing) we were both going to wear black what a coincidence.
Anyways, since the party was going to be from 8:00 p.m.-12:00 a.m. I had to get things together all Saturday morning and afternoon.
Omg it was so stressful, but it was worth it. My mom made me help her clean the entire house with her. Aunt Ana came with the twins cousin Amanda and Kyle to help me and mom with the cooking. Afterwards Aunt Ana did my hair, mom did my makeup and Amanda helped me get dresses.
My hair was just curled but my makeup was so pretty.
I know my mom is great at makeup, she’s teaching me tips and tools so hopefully I’ll be great at it. Alright back to the story. We left the house an hour early to get ready. As soon as I got out the car and looked up to view the building of the ballroom it was so pretty and luxurious. As we walked in the man who works there told us where to go, and we proceeded to his directions. Once we walked in the room, omg Samantha it was gorgeous! The room was big and it had a huge chandelier.
Yeah the room was already decorated, but we just need to set up the food we made.
The people I invited and the DJ started coming in around 8-8:30, and honestly I was extremely nervous. Because I said to myself what if the girls were right about my party, what if it turns out to be boring.
I had so much negativity in my mind about my sweet 16 sam because I was anxious about the feedback I get back from people.
But then the DJ played some good music and everyone was on the dance floor. Even my mom! I mean I was a little embarrassed about how me and my mom danced together. Then as I danced I look around the room seeing people laughing and dancing. Then I realized to myself that it’s my party and need to have fun and not stress about anything if people are having fun.
As the party ended and people was leaving, everyone told me that I had the best sweet 16 they’ve ever been to and I was so relieved to hear that.
I know right that was nice. But as soon as I got in the house I was exhausted from dancing so much (laughs) so I jumped in the shower, brushed my teeth, and fell asleep.
On Sunday I saw my party on almost everyone’s snapchat stories and instagram. I showed my mom and she was happy to see that everyone had a good time.
The following monday everyone’s topic of discussion was the party. Once everyone bragged to Sarah, Ana, and Maria, they felt so bad about talking bad about my party that, they apologized to me in person.
Yeah I accepted the apology although they were wrong to say such negative things about the sweet 16. I learned my lesson about this.
I learned how to have self confidence and not care what anyone say bad about me. Because at the end of the day, I know that I will receive some good feedback of my actions.
Yo …How many times do I need to call you to get your ass down here to eat, huh? ...Noon, uhh, don’t talk back at me… I have been calling you for the past 10 minutes, I should not have to call you a trillion times for you to eat! *paused silence* What’s this *sniff sniff* Andrew are you fucking serious! I thought that you’ll be different! Oh my gosh…*pulls weed out* ...S-So this is yours! I thought it was your brother’s. What did you just say? Oh, so it was your brother’s huh? He’ll beat you the fuck up if he finds out that you took his joints! Did you forget about what he did?! He killed the love of my life, your father, because he said your brother couldn’t do drugs. Now he’s suffering in jail for the rest of his life. I won’t allow you to take that path and end up like him! ..Be Quiet!, Let me finish.
Drugs is like an addiction. Once you start, you won’t be able to stop. You do it once, then again, and forever. Andrew, be honest. When did you start? A month a-go!? *Starts sobbing
This is all my fault! If I watched you and payed close attention to you, this wouldn’t have happened. It’s all my fault. Your father and I made an agreement together that your brother could not do drugs, but he paid for it since he was home! *Pause* I should’ve been home too. Forget working, I should’ve been home to help out when you needed help the most. I wish that it was not your father and it was me home at that time.*Starts sobbing* I-I-I just wished that this wouldn't have turn out this way!
You're all I have right now. I can’t lose you too! Look what happened when your father died, I was depressed for a month. I won’t lose you too. You're only 17! You should be hanging out with friends, going to prom and having fun making memories, but instead you’re getting high as a kite!
Why did you start this? This “drug” business?? Was it your dad? Was it me? C’mon, say something! Talk to me! If it’s dad, then talk to him, visit his grave. He’s a really good listener. So it’s not. What? You started doing this because no one wanted to go to prom with you?!...And I thought that there was a bigger issue!... You should have told me..! I can get a hot chick to go with you, did you forget? I look like I’m only 20! Everyone knows that your dad died but NO one knows that I am your mom. I had always wanted to go to a prom and if you don’t want me to go, I can always get someone for you? Would you do the honor to go to prom with me?. Yass now you're smiling. …But you’re going to have to go to rehab first!
…Why won’t you? You think this is funny!...You got Hookah from your friends not drug? *Shock* ohh my goodness, honeyyy! I’m sorry for making assumptions! I should’ve had known better that the drug was not drug!! The smell of drugs just trigger the memories of your dad and brother which you know that I am unable to hold back. I’m really sorry for making an assumption AGAIN! I should have learned from the last time. *Takes a deep breath* But you should know this, hookah is not that bad just don’t overdo it. It can damage your health even though it seems harmless. *looks at time* Oh my, so much time had passed by! Hurry up and go downstairs to eat, it is almost your bedtime and Andrew, I am really glad that it is not drugs! *Smiles*
(Sitting at the dinner table)
Guess what happen to me the today? No, I did not get a girlfriend dad, but I’m one step away from getting one. Mary Beth waved at me today. What do you mean that doesn’t mean anything? Mary Beth is the hottest girl in school and she acknowledge my existence and waving obviously means that she likes me. Oh, so waving doesn’t mean she likes me in that way, she just probably likes me as a friend. Okay, I guess that I might have misread the situation. Talking about meeting people, I was wondering how you and mom met.
No mom did not put me up to this. I just thought that if you remember the good times you and Mom had that you guys will stop fighting. Yes, I know that you guys fight. You do not do a great job at hiding it. Every night I hear you guys fighting and I stay up frightened, thinking that you guys are going to get divorced, but I know that is just a crazy thought. (PAUSE) Right. Wait, no…. don’t tell me. You guys are planning to get a divorce. When were you guys planning to tell me? When the time was right, so you were going to take me to the movies or an amusement park or something dumb like that and tell me then. You should have been honest with me from the beginning.
You don’t love her! But she is my Mom, you know the person you have been married to, for the past 20 years. I heard that marriages goes through rough patches. Maybe this is just your marriage’s rough patch and eventually you will rekindle your love. So you’re not going to even try? Those 20 years of watching me grow up. Watching our family form is just nothing to you? Do not let this marriage fail, I will not let this marriage fail. If you’re not going to do it for her, then do it for me. You’re only son, the person you changed their diapers, the person who you taught how to catch a ball, the person who you bought them their first car.
Mom’s asking for the one asking for the divorce? Why is she the one asking for the divorce? You cheated on Mom! How could you do that to her? You have a single handedly teared a who family apart just for a piece of side action. I looked up to you Dad, I thought you were the best person in the world, not capable of hurting no one. I was obviously wrong about you. You are now nothing to me, except for the peice of shit who left my mom for a whore. NO, I will continuing using this tone with you and you’re going to listen.
(What the actor sees: The Dad begins walking to the door)
Now you’re leaving because you are not man enough to face your problems. If you walk out that door, Dad you will lose me forever. *Door Slams* He actually left, what does this mean for my family? I didn’t mean some of things I said, I was just angry at him. He left us though, he had the nerve to leave us. There’s is no going back now I guess. I lost my Dad, the person who is suppose to be there for me. I should not have push it so far.(Curtain Drops and Lights turn off)
IT’S SHE, NOT HE! I don’t know why you keep referring to me as a girl. Just because I still have boobs doesn’t mean that I am a female. I was born in the wrong body, and you know that. Even though we came out of same womb, and we look exactly alike, doesn’t mean that we have to be the same gender. It would be wrong if I called you a boy right? Especially when I know damn well that you have a vagina and giant breast like me. If I can’t afford the surgery of getting mine removed, and you know that! If I could get my boobs removed, then I would. Mom doesn’t support that idea, and I couldn’t persuade her even if I tried. I am even saving up every last dime to remove them.
Why are you staring at me like that? Is it , because you want me to be your twin “sister” ? You’ are not okay with the idea of having a twin “brother”? This is who I really am. I’m sorry if this disappoints you in anyway. You need to come to realization that once we come out the womb, we chose who we want to be in our lives, and not always what our genes makes us.You’re my sister, and you should be in support of any decision I make. You’re supposed to have my back, and not be on mom’s side. I am not comfortable with who I am, and this is who I am deciding to be.
Maybe our genes get mixed up, and we both came out as girls. Maybe mom was sick or had something going on when she got pregnant, that could change me being a girl. I was supposed to be born with a penis, and grow up to have a mustache. You were born the way you are, and I don’t judge you at all.
I think I will even change my name while I am at. I’ll change it to Jason, Alex, or evan Marcus. I’m just tired of you seeing me with the eyes we share in common as a “she.” How many times do I have to tell you?! I am a he!!! I don’t identify as a boy. I am finally comfortable with who I am. I am finally comfortable with going out public, and being who I was meant to be. A boy.
Soy Will Ferrell
cómico y famoso,
cuando tengo tiempo libre, me encanta pasar tiempo con amigos
ver la tele y cocinar,
No soy ni delgado
Valiete y liel,
Bijo, delgado y timibo
Soy todos los días confundido más de futuro.
Soy poderoso en todos los días más de gente
Soy perezoso y trabajadoro y serio
Odio escribir y descansar
me gusta correry nadar
Better Kept A Secret
I can’t believe you would do that to me when I trusted you to keep it a secret. Why?? Why would you do that?? I don’t wanna hear that you did what you thought was best for me. I knew exactly what was best for me. You might have thought that I was scared and too young to handle the situation, but I kept it a secret not because I was scared; that way, it was better for every one. It’s not like I was going to let him get near me ever again. (Pause) (Brief hesitation) Yeah, but even if we live in the same house, I still would never let it happen. I froze in place that time because I used to be scared. I didn’t now how to react, but I’m not anymore. That happened so so long ago, back when I was 13. (Pause) There you go again saying that he deserves to be locked up. Maybe reporting him was the right thing to do, but it definitely wasn’t the best thing for me. If you really cared about me like that, you would have set aside the fact that you’re my teacher and did the best thing for me no matter what. (Pause) But I do know! I’m mature enough to realize that you did what you did because you really care about me and think that you’re protecting me. But you should have never took my matters into your own hands. (Pause) I know what he did was wrong, (pause) sick, and disgusting, but my family was already falling apart and the last thing I wanted to do was add onto the drama. You have no idea what I was going through.
For the past two years, I tried so hard to forget every thing that happened. I wanted to move past it and never look back. But because of you, I had to recall every one of those dark memories. It became a much bigger part in my life, which was the complete opposite of what I hoped for. Did it cross your mind that I would have to stand in front of him, a judge, my family, and all of these strangers and tell them every detail of how he harassed me? Do you know how humiliating that felt? (Pause) Honestly, I don’t give a shit if I stopped him from violating other girls. To you, what I did was brave, but I don’t see myself as a notable person and neither did my parents. (Pause) They don’t think like you do. In their eyes, I made a mistake by not keeping my mouth shut. I only brought more trouble to them. It was hard for them to believe, he has lived with us for years, and has been a great family friend. I brought shame to my family because his relatives started spreading word about what happened to other people we know. I had to go through it alone. You should have never said anything, it was better kept a secret.
She’s still asleep. Does she know she has school today? She must be staying home again. Ugh, I need to be washed. I don’t think she’s noticed. Can someone crack a window? It’s so stuffy in here, how is she even wrapped in her blankets like that? Oh, she’s waking up. She’s checking the time… but she’s not freaking out. She’s definitely staying home from school, then. And… she’s going back to sleep. Nice. It’s almost eight in the morning. When did she get like this? I remember years ago, when we first met, she was so full of energy. She would always wake up before her alarm and was ready to start her day. Now she just… lays here. Am I the only one who notices? I must be the only one. I’m worried.
It’s almost noon. She’s been awake for the last three hours, but she hasn’t gotten out of bed. She’s just been on her phone. Isn’t she hungry? She hasn’t even eaten since seven o’clock last night… Isn’t she hungry? She has to be. Maybe she numbed it out. Can someone please crack a window? I can’t believe no one’s checked on her yet. I know they’re awake, I can hear them. I wouldn’t be surprised if they left her alone, even when she’s like this. It’s not like they notice, anyway. She’s practically cocooned in these blankets, unmoving, and no one even thought to peek their head in.
It’s cloudy today. There’s no way she’s doing anything productive today. I guess I better get comfortable.
I wish I could help her. I wish I could talk to her. I wish she knew she had someone who understands. I mean, I’m the one who’s always with her when she’s like this. Countless nights she’s spent here wondering if it’s worth it. I wish I could tell her it’s ok to just lay here sometimes. I wish I could tell her that none of it’s her fault. I never worry too much, though. I know at some point she’ll get back up again and make an effort - she always does. I admire that about her. In fact, sometimes I’m relieved when she takes a break. I can see the emotional toll everything takes on her.
I wish I could talk to her, but I can’t. I’m just a bed.
Mi Nombre es Kristian
A Veces, Soy
Deportista y alto
De Vez en Cuando, me encanta jugar video juegos, ir al cine y hablar por telefono.
No soy ni bajo
The Waiting Room
(sitting in a chair)
It’s cold, it’s always like this in here. But today it feels so cold. Did they turn the AC on? It’s the middle of winter in Denver, what is wrong with them? There are toys all over the floor, in the children’s section. There is a mother wiping the snot from the kid’s runny noses, with annoyed look on their face. Oh, I long to be her. To be able to hold a chil-
Brrrrinngggg! The front desk's phone rings and the nurse greets the person on the other line with most monotone voice I’ve ever heard. She’s probably done this for the thousandth time today. Considering the fact that I’ve called at least twenty times yesterday, to make sure the results would be ready by today. After the twenty first call, I picked out the outfit I would wear; a cream silk blouse, black dress pants, and my Nonna’s hair clip she wore when giving birth to my mother. I got up at half past 5 in the morning, even though my appointment wouldn’t be for another 12 hours. I couldn’t stomach the idea of food on such an important day, so I watched the snowfall and pet Oscar for a good three hours straight. Brian called, but it was only to tell me that he’d be working late and I was too focused on the soft white snow to worry about his usual tendency to avoid anything related to the B word.
All I could think about was this appointment. I’ve seemed to memorize the routine; the forty-five minute wait in Dr. Herman’s office with freezing temperatures, screaming children and toys scattered all over the floor, and the front desk’s phone ringing non-stop. Then Amanda would come and tell me he’s ready for ya hun. I would walk the inevitable 32 feet from the waiting room to Dr. Herman’s office. He would sit there and read my report, this would most likely determine my physical well being until the next visit. This continuous cycle, has become such a part of my routine, that I find myself coming to the doctor’s office because I was so lonely at home. I would make excuses for myself, Amanda was working a double shift maybe I should bring her some Chinese. My whole life began to revolve around this 24 story building filled with anxious eyes and squirming hands.
It’s weird to think that a single embryo could have this much control over a 35 year old women. At this point in my life, I should have my own house, a dog and a loving family. Although me and Oscar live in a three story house, I wouldn't call me and Brian’s relationship, loving, anymore. After the first time, it felt like a piece of us died. And in some ways it did. Doesn’t a child take a portion of its parents? It never had the chance to show us. We would never know if it would have Brian’s eyes or my smile or Brian’s smile and my eyes. The mystery tore me apart. Day, by day, I would imagine how old he would be. I would imagine him running up to me from the school bus and hugging my knees. It’s unbearable to think how I’ve built this world with him and he’s not here to live in it. So instead of grieving, I’ve grown apart from the people who were closest to me, including Brian. Even though I know it was just as hard for him. You don’t have to carry a baby to be just as in love with it. I wish I would’ve known that before I destroyed what we’ve had. Without people to constantly tell you what a horrible person you’ve become, you feel free in some sense, but it’s lonely and cold.
But not as cold as Dr. Herman’s waiting room. It’s freezing and I’m pretty sure they have the AC on. I can’t get my fingers to stop trembling and the non-stop ringing of the front desk’s phone only adds to my uneasiness. Amanda walks in with the lo mein to-go box I brought for her, and in between mouthfuls of shrimp I make out the words, he’s ready for ya hun.
My slide represents how unique I am as a person. Each one of the images represents me making some kind of face, which is something I’ve always done. I'm not one of those people who can take a perfect selfie r who can steal the spotlight in a group picture, and I am ok with that. This just happened to be why I picked my saying to be Stay Weird. To me the word weird means unique, and being unique is something I specialize in. Which is why I made faces in most of my pictures.I made the contrast of my collage a blue tone so it would match the color of the words on my slide. Furthermore, I thought that this would make my slide more cohesive as a whole. The alignment of my collage is to the left side of the slide rather than the middle because I did not want it to bring the focus away from the words completely. During the process of making this slide I chose to make the collage, so it would bring my images closer together and so it would add more emptiness. I used the examples that we were shown in class as a reference for my slide, and in my opinion the slides that were emptier looked clean.
(Introduction) She is about to come over after she is done with whatever she has to do. I’m about to get some action when she comes over.
(on the phone with Chris)
Him: I just met her yesterday, on my way to class.
Him: She’s super fine bro, she got a real nice body.
Him: Her butt is super big.
Him: Nawl I don’t want to date her, that’s not me you know that.
Him: Because I’m just trying hit, yameen.
Him: Well, I mean I can’t help it, girls just like me like that.
Him: whatchu mean what about kayla?
Him: I don’t talk to that girl anymore, she’s to attached.
Him; Nawl, I don’t care if you talk to her. (giggles)
Him: Wait, hold on she callin now.
(On the phone with Mariah)
Him: Wassup Mariah?
Him: Yeah you can still come over.
Him: Nawl my parents aren’t home.
Him: Whatchu mean, what are we going to do?
Him: What yo, we are not going to “Netflix and Chill.”
Him: Because that boring, I’m tryna do something that fun.
Him: Wait hold on, Chris is on the other line.
(switches the line back over to Chris)
Him: Now why would you call me by my first name, you know I don’t like being called Trey.
Him: You know why I don’t like being called that, and she was talking about some “Netflix and chill”.
Him: I know she thought that I wanted to watch Netflix with her, that’s only me and my lil sis.
Him: Wait hold on bro, I think she hung up.
(Back on the phone with Mariah)
Him: So are you coming over or what?
Him: But why do we have to watch Netflix, I don’t like Netflix.
Him: Listen girl, just make sure you wearing something nice.
Him: So what you're saying is that you’ll wear something nice, if we watch Netflix?
Him: Fine we can watch Netflix, and you’ll find out the rest when you get over here.
Him: Yeah, Yeah, Yeah, just hurry up and get over here.
(Phone calls ends with Mariah, switches back over to Chris.)
Him; Yo Chris I gotta go.
Him: Because she on her way over and I gotta make my room look presentable. ( Starting fixing his bed)
Him: Because I don’t want her coming over to a dirty room, and she start thinking that I have bed bugs or something.
Him: A lot of girls do think that, member what happened to Keem?
Him: I know but he was always a dirty Young bull, so… But Yo ima call you later so I can get ready and make sure nobody is coming in the house until later on.
Him: I’m hanging up you. Your talking a little too much right now.
Him: Ima call you when she leaves OK, just stay up and close to the phone.
( The phone hangs up and then it rings again.)
Conclusions : Ugh, why is he calling back? I’m not answering I have important things to do before Mariah comes over.