Lit Log #2 - Playlist of Gilead

Songs of Choice

Nightmare - Halsey

The song “Nightmare” by Halsey was made in 2019 in response to the start of abortion bans. The song fits a lot of topics into 3 minutes. I thought about the concept of “Mayday” and how these topics relate to why they’re a thing. In the beginning, Halsey starts off with a bedtime prayer to pray for the sins she’s about to commit in the song. “I’ve been polite but won’t be caught dead.” a line from the song reminds me of how Offred has to keep up this version of herself and basically transform into another person while being a handmaid. While the lyrics may not relate to “Mayday” I think the angry-frustrusrated tone of the song does. I think one of the reasons why Mayday was created was the pent-up anger of following the rules and being in Gilead.

Mother’s Daughter - Miley Cyrus

“Mother’s Daughter” by Miley Cyrus is about Cyrus’ experience growing up with a mother who is a feminist and making her mother proud by continuing that legacy. In the book we get introduced to Offred’s mother through memories of Offred’s childhood and how her mother was a feminist who went to marches and fought on the front lines for women empowerment. While the song and book relate, they talk about different feelings. Offred didn’t like her mom’s work as they would argue a lot but in the song, Cyrus talks about feeling proud to take on that feminist role after her mother.

All Night - Beyonce

Throughout the book we see the relationship between Serena and the Commander, and how love doesn’t seem to be a priority. As it was referenced in the book it seems more of a job, something they have to do to keep the roles of Gilead in order. Although we don’t know much about Serena and Fred’s relationship before Gilead it’s safe to assume that they have been together for a long time. During the ceremony, Serena is almost always visibly uncomfortable and even though it may not be cheating according to Gilead Offred refers to herself as the Commander’s mistress. In the song, Beyonce expresses the hurt and forgiveness she feels when her husband cheated on her singing, “So many people that I know, they just tryna touch ya. — Give you some time to prove that I can trust you again.”. When trust in a relationship is broken it could be hard to regain and it seems as if Serena is having a hard time controlling her emotions because technically she can’t be upset if these are the rules and Offred is doing her job.

Consideration - Rihanna & SZA

We see the relationship between Offred and the Commander progress since Chapter 23 when he asks her to meet in his office for the first time. While listening to this song Rihanna and SZA sing the line “Let me cover your shit in glitter, I could make it gold” and I think this line does a good job of representing the obliviousness of the Commander when Offred tells him that the handmaids use butter as lotion. Using glitter to make something look better than it is, the Commander doesn’t know how bad it really is for the handmaids even though he helped put this system in place. “I needed you to please give my reflection a break. From the faces, it’s seeing now.” in this line Rihanna talks about her reflection and how she’s had to maintain an image, one that she wants to get rid of, which reminded me of how there are no mirrors in the bathrooms so the handmaids can’t see themselves and how Offred has shed the image of her old self from the “before times” into who we now know as Offred.

Love - Kendrick Lamar & Zacari

The theme of Love comes up in the book a few times as something that is non-existent and that’s not useful for the Hanmaid’s purpose. This song is all about love and what Gilead lacks according to Ofrred In chapter 33 on page 220 Aunt Lydia tells the girls “Love is not the point” in the red center. After the Commander asks Offred what Gilead lacks Offred responds with “Love” and the idea of falling in love. I also noticed that Serena and the Commander don’t seem to have a loving relationship as the Commander told Offred “Arranged marriages have always worked you just as well, if not better.” (220). The lyrics of the song “If I minimized my worth, would you still love me?” made me think of Serena and how she aligned and still aligns with the views of Gilead but now that the rules of Gilead have had an effect on her she might be changing her mind. She has to have her image minimized as a “Commander’s Wife” where her status is high but her power is limited.

KiLLead

Reading the Handmaid’s Tale, we see the life of Offred and the few handmaid’s Offred references that live an exterminated life. This book has taken the idea of dystopian and made it a living hell for women quite literally having them be forced to act upon men’s will. With no questions asked there is nothing but submission to men in this world and they look to have no wonderful escape in this book. But the thing I often pick up from the book is the killing of many ideas, people, things and life before Gilead. A quote I want to bring up is from Chapter 22, pg. 133, that talks about power and that being stripped away. It reads.“Moira had power now, she’d been set loose, she’d set herself loose. She was now a loose woman.” It kills the thought and idea of something so small such as maybe wearing your skirt to a certain length or even saying something makes for Gilead to kill it. It’s hard to call this a society when things are running on questionable morals and ethics that you don’t believe in not one bit. The apparent reason we see Offred often going to the past and referencing her old life is because it was when she was alive and had fulfillment for the things she believed in. The visions of her are wiped clean when the power is gone and the republic you reside in is like plastic. No fate is a conspiracy, neither is there speculation for the people who may have killed the dream of the woman of Gilead.

Which is why I take note of the sanity of Offred, and I see a lot of parallels with me and her throughout chapters. I can see a fight for the system just like Offred can see but it’s promptly killed as the conscious thoughts of the society we live in take over. I need to be a better writer and learner but the things that stop me are the “smarter people” than me but I know I can just as or better than them. Which is why I feel I ask the question “Can you be?” I don’t know what that requires of me but the quest to let go of these voids consume me and I can’t seem to let them go as positive thoughts are killed very quickly. It often ends up with me going back to the glorious past and looking at the “good” times and it’s so hard because things were sunshine and rainbows as the material was simply easier. But the horizon of being better than I was years ago often leaves me jetlagged or having to recuperate. Even as the hard times pile up I think to the quote “I have failed once again to fulfill the expectations of others, which have become my own.” from Chapter 13, pg. 73, which touches on both of our struggles. Even though I’m not in a dystopian society run by men, it hurts to see someone stuck in their own head even as the life they need is a little distant. But the remedy is the peace in which the chaos of our own doubts brings, its beauty in the madness as in the end it will be rewarding. The quotes also bring up people who have expectations, but delivering is the thing you bring on your own even as other people expect them to be fulfilled just like you did. Who do you put the blame on when the people also put the blame on you and you’re right back to where you started which is in your own head? Looking at Gilead and reality, it’s a blame game and in the end you want to just go away for a little while. A quote about ending it all for good in Gilead touches on this as it reads “That was one of the things they do. They force you to kill, within yourself.” The dream is killed first and then with that the soul goes away with it as it just becomes too much to handle. The people in my life have great expectations for me and to deliver such expectations we have to force many things in order to get where we want. The expectation becomes both of our problems and once it’s forced it takes a toll on you as you want to succeed more than ever.

But even as this crazy feeling takes attachment to you have to not be afraid. This quote touches on this “Better never means better for everyone, he says. It always means worse for some.” from Chapter 32, pg. 211. The things you experience or go through are often not forever and could be worse, even as there is no hope. Think about the past but don’t get stuck in it as it will take over you. But just know that there will be good times even in times of Horor…

Shatterproof

My artwork is about the scene where Offred finally talks to her walking buddy Ofglen. It happens when they go by the Soul Scrolls building, and they stop to look in and see the “Holy Rollers” at work. These machines are explained to be prayer machines, writing and speaking prayers that people send in. I decided to go with a sinister look when drawing these praying machines. This was an easy decision. Offred describes them as toneless and metallic, and from their function, they don’t seem visually appealing. The part that I hope stands out on these machines is the eye. Throughout “The Handmaid’s Tale” eyes play a big role in the way the new government “decorates”.They keep the sense of privacy low and people on their best behavior. I drew the eyes looking at Offred and Ofglen, because although they probably aren’t pointed at them in the story, they might as well be.

While they are stopped, Ofglen takes the first step and reaches out to Offred with a risky question: “Do you think God listens to these machines?” After thinking over her options, Offred gives into her curiosity and says no. The conversation that follows is the first of many important conversations that they have together. I think of it as a kind of checkpoint for Offred. Now I want to back up a little because what I drew was the moment right before the dialogue, when they share a moment of eye contact. I think this moment is arguably more important than the conversation, because this eye contact is even more rare than talking is in this world, and it isn’t even face to face, it’s in a reflection! I tried to make this picture look like it was from the point of view of a passerby, an outside perspective, because that’s who we are in this situation. Offred is writing to us, we are looking into her life from what she writes, but if we were to walk by her in person, we would never know who she was. However, if you look closely, you can see a faint reflection in the shatterproof glass of the Soul Scrolls window. This is where I tried to tie it all in with a little bit of symbolism. The machines see the two Handsmaids. they have eyes, and they can see them. They mention bugs (hidden microphones). They could be anywhere, so they can never be one hundred percent sure that they can talk. They are not safe.

My interpretation of the reflection was sort of like a fourth dimension, a safe space to talk for these two renegades. It is meant to seem crazy or weird, because well, the fact that they have to take these precautions just to talk is pretty crazy and weird. I also wanted to portray a sense of disconnect from the surrounding area and the clothes they wear to what they really have their minds on. I wanted to show the shell that they are encased in, and what lies beneath.

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The Handmaid's Tale Mini-playlist

What Was I Made For (By Billie Eilish) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dpnTd9Dx2OM The song “What Was I Made For” by Billie Eilish was originally proposed for the Barbie movie, but to me it resonates with society’s stereotypes. This song in particular is written from the perspective of a female, questioning what she has to do with her life. There are moments in The Handmaid’s Tale where this theme is shown. The role that the Handmaids play is to only reproduce and have sex with men. Not only Offred has to follow the rules of Gilead, all women feel strangely controlled by men. Owning the opposite gender means that the female characters in Gilead have no choice of what they can do. In Gilead it is the only requirement they need to fill. If not, the women are considered outcasts or unwomen.

Verse 1: Takin’ a drive, I was an ideal, Looked so alive, turns out I’m not real, Just something you paid for, What was I made for?

Boys Will Be Boys (By Dua Lipa) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k0QWX2M7W7M The female community are both referenced in this song and in the section “Jezebel’s” of The Handmaid’s Tale. The Commander uses his title to get what he wants. The section focused on the wrong and secretive relationship of Offred and the Commander. The skimpy outfit the Commander made Offred wear to Jezebel’s implies that his intentions are only about sex. Only about his gain and pleasure. “Better never means, better for everyone, he says, it always means worse, for some.” (211) The Commander abuses his power and decides what body parts should be seen or covered. In verse 3, the lyric, “And that was sarcasm, in case you needed it mansplained…” shows a stereotype that takes place in society.

Verse 3: I’m sure there’s something that I can’t find the words to say. I know that there will be a man around to save the day. And that was sarcasm, in case you needed it mansplained, I should’ve stuck to ballet.

Best Days (By Alessia Cara) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SEIAcNu6FpI The men in Gilead have a higher role in the society. There are moments where the Commander requests Offred’s presence in his office, where she is not allowed to be. This shows how the Commander can bend the rules for his own pleasure. The relationship between Offred and the Commander starts out as a transactional relationship, but then begins to take an unwarranted turn. “I visit the Commander two or three nights a week, always after dinner, but only when I get the signal.” (p 154). Similarly the song includes uncertainty about life that is not controllable. That interaction with the world around you will change your life in one way or another. What will the next day bring?

Verse 3: What if my best days are the days I’ve left behind? And what if the rest stays the same for all my life? I’m running with my eyes closed, so it goes. You live and then you die. But the hardest pill to swallow is the meantime. Are the best days just the one that we survive?

Locked Out of Heaven (By Bruno Mars) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LXMXxialNbo The song Locked Out of Heaven includes themes about sexual relationships and religious wording. In The Handmaid’s Tale sex is important and is brought up in daily life. Yet, the conversations never seem to be public. Always in private and voiced inside the characters head. “What we prayed for with emptiness so we would be worthy to be filled: with grace, with love, with self denial, semen and babies.” (p 194) There are word choices in Margret Atwood’s writing that challenge the reader to think about the purpose of the female gender.

Verse 1: Never had much faith in love or miracles (ooh), Never wanna put my heart on the line (ooh), But swimmin in your water’s something spiritual (ooh), I’m born again every time you spend the night (ooh)

Dear Society (By Madison Beer) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=buildkXr1h0 Madison Beer uses her skills of writing lyrics to use metaphors/symbols. Atwood also uses symbolism to indicate the connection to the current world. Cigarettes can be hurtful to a human’s insides. There can be mental and physical consequences. Magazines, another symbol that often comes up in the novel. Images of almost naked women and sexual ads portray the same idea. “It would make me feel that I have power. But such feeling is illusion, and too risky.” The characters in Gilead have no idea about what is happening in the outside world. Nonetheless they can’t change someone’s opinion that they can’t approach.

Verse 1: Sleepless nights and cigarettes. My daily dose of internet. And all the things I shoulda quit, but never did, oh. Evil voices in my head. I woke up in a stranger’s bed…

Eli's Lit Log #2

1:

“Dark Age” - MGMT

I chose this song for a number of reasons one of them being because it says “Forgiving who you are”. Forgiving could mean to give up the resentment you have toward yourself, wether it be resent for your past or even just the person you are. We see Offred do a lot of or try to forgive herself especially in the context of her mother and her past relationship with luke involving her daughter. This reminds me of chapter 24 after her first meeting with the commander when she decides to forget her past self in order to focus on the present, trying to escape. Is forgiving and forgetting the same thing? (I also chose this song because it feels very dystopian)

2:

“Gallowdance” - Lebanon Hanover

I chose this song because it says “Dance with me the gallowdance” “As long as we’re not hanging”. This reminds me of Offred and her shopping partner as they always observe the wall were the authorities hang those who resist or break rules. I feel like this quote from the song fits perfectly because they “Dance the gallowdance” (break the rules) but “As long as were not hanging” (as long as they dont get caught) they don’t care and are unphased by seeing the body’s instead have a sense if curiosity.

3:

“Downswing” - Superheaven

I chose this song because it says “I’ve been there before, i never want to go back i try to forget, what it feels like to be unattached”. I chose this quote because it symbolizes the forgetting of memories. We see a lot of this as its used in order to gain better control over the female and male populations in gilead, controlled people are easy to manipulate especially if they have not former memory. They even turn or use these memories against them as we saw most recently when someone made a bribe using Offred’s daughter.

4:

“Orbitron” - Duster

I chose this song because it says “You know the clock is ticking down and no ones in control”. I feel Offred would resonate to this alot because she often thinks about and sometimes talks about prayer, but she isn’t convinced that her prayers are heard or who shes praying to. In such a hopeless situation were she really lacks any sort of freedom it would be easy to see each day as nothing more than time passed “The clock ticking down”. In with this state of hopelessness / loneliness it would also be easy to say “no ones in control”. (no ones hearing or looking after me)

5:

“Your Face” - Wisp

I chose this song because it says “You look at me the same but i cant reciprocate”. This quote for me defines a lot of Offred’s male interactions especially with the commander and nick. Throughout the book she has various interactions with Nick a lot of which describe a sense of shared interest in each other. There is one or two scenes were a sexual tension is described “but i cant reciprocate” even if Offred has them same desire she cannot indulge out of consideration for her wellbeing. A similar situation is depicted with the commander as from the first meeting they had he held a agenda, asking Offred to act as if she “meant it” or to “fake it”. The commander desires a romantic relationship so he is using this relationship to simulate his ideal image of one. He “Looks at her the same but she cant reciprocate”.

Love Square? (Offred, Nick, Luke, Commander)

Margaret Atwood has a very interesting way of describing Offred’s relationships in The Handmaid’s Tale. Offred is one of the fortunate women in Gilead that remembers the past life well. She was the mistress in Luke’s marriage and then they got married and had a baby girl. During the transition into this new society, the whole family is separated. Currently she is placed into the home of the Commander and Serena Joy. This is where she meets Nick. Nick’s role is unclear but he does wear a Guardian uniform. During their first interaction, “He takes a final puff of the cigarette, lets it drop to the driveway, and steps on it. He begins to whistle. Then he winks. I drop my head and turn so that the white wings hide my face, and keep walking. “(18) which then Offred is confused about his choices. Not only is this interaction very creepy but Offred’s first thought is to question him on his authority. I find it a little odd that Nick just winks at her specifically like does he do this often or is it just her? Margaret brings this interaction to life by the build up of Gilead. A man that isn’t the Commander is winking at a handmaid. From this point on, it just gets worse.

Nick works under the Commander just like everyone else but he seems comfortable in his position. The most off-putting moment is when he goes to find Offred at night and they end up in the sitting room. “He puts his hand on my arm, pulls me against him, his mouth on mine, what else comes from such denial? Without a word. Both of us shaking, how I’d like to.”(98) and they end up making out. Firstly this is extremely weird. I think it is interesting the dynamic of this situation. Offred knows that this is illegal and she could get in trouble if anyone found out. She is basically an object to the men in this society and she is portrayed with no significance other than to reproduction. Offred knows that women “are two-legged wombs, that’s all:sacred vessels, ambulatory chalices.”(136). I think back into our society about how women are manipulated in relationships and I feel like Luke has manipulated Offred. I think this is how cheating happens. Even though that is literally what happened between Luke and his ex wife where he left her for Offred, for some reason Offred is still in love with Luke. Maybe Offred just likes the idea of Luke and their past relationship.

Secondly, she is married… like she is so obsessed with her husband Luke that why is she kissing another man. To add on when Offred thinks “It’s so good, to be touched by someone, to be felt so greedily, to feel so greedy. Luke, you’d know, you’d understand. It’s you here, in another body.”(99). She begins to imagine Nick as if he is Luke but they are clearly different people. Is it because she misses Luke or maybe she feels guilty for kissing another man that she has to think about Luke? Why is Offred kissing another man but yet thinking it’s her husband? This love triangle thing is so confusing since Offred is obsessed with Luke but yet can’t see him. She doesn’t even know if he is alive. I will never understand this situation because when you love someone, you should only be able to focus on them. Even when Offred is constantly thinking about Luke, she proceeds to have this intimate connection with Nick and to make it worse, it’s also the Commander too.

The Commander holds a level of power that Offred will never obtain in Gilead. The whole love triangle plus the Commander is a mess if we look at it from a power perspective. Although we don’t know where Luke is, we can assume he has more power than Offred. Offred does not necessarily have power but her position is very important since she is a handmaid. I think that the growing love story between Offred and the Commander is cute but also risky. There is also an aspect of their relationship where the Commander is lonely. The Commander is finding someone to fill his void since the Commander’s Wife does not connect with him anymore. Even though this is not the first time the Commander has messed with a handmaid, Offred brings this situation into a different light as she is obsessed with Luke and also has a small thing for Nick which we can assume is the Commander’s right hand man. The entire love square thing is confusing but yet interesting in the way everybody reacts to each other.

Faces

This drawing depicts Offred from the Commander’s perspective. It takes place in the Commander’s study on the night they go to Jezebel’s, and shows Offred seated across from the Commander at his desk, just after he has given her makeup.

When Offred is with the Commander, she often seems conscious of her face and facial expressions. During their first secret meeting, when he asks her to play Scrabble with him, she narrates, “I hold myself absolutely rigid. I keep my face unmoving” (p. 138). The night they go to Jezebel’s, when Offred is going into the Commander’s study, she says, “I knock on his door, hear his voice, adjust my face, go in” (p. 229). To Offred, facial expressions seem like a point of vulnerability, where her true emotions can be seen. She frequently adjusts her expressions, as if putting on a mask in an attempt to hide these feelings. This action is seen most often with the Commander, likely because of the extreme imbalance in their power dynamic. In my illustration, I depicted Offred’s face as completely blank, because it sometimes feels as though this blankness is what she aims to achieve. With a blank face, the Commander would not be able to discern any of her thoughts or feelings.

I also noticed the idea of faces as a point of vulnerability and intimacy during the first Ceremony after Offred and the Commander start meeting in secret. During this scene, Offred recounts, “He reached his hand up as if to touch my face; I moved my head to the side, to warn him away, hoping Serena Joy hadn’t noticed, and he withdrew his hand again, withdrew into himself and his single-minded journey” (p. 162). Here, the Commander’s movement to touch Offred’s face displays the shift in the pair’s relationship, the new connection that had previously been absent. But Offred pulls away. To her, their relationship is not one of intimacy. She has to be conscious of what this action could give away to Serena Joy, as she is more likely to be punished for it. In pulling away, she is again pulling back and hiding her face from the Commander.

In my illustration, on the Commander’s desk is the makeup that the Commander gives to Offred the night they go to Jezebel’s. This moment felt significant because we see that despite all of the hiding that Offred does around the Commander, he doesn’t really care about seeing her real face, or her real emotions. He only cares about her face looking the way he wants it, and that night, he wanted her in makeup. Although the makeup ended up helping Offred fit in at Jezebel’s, initially, it felt like the Commander was picking out Offred’s face for her that night, deciding on his own how he wanted her to look. This is one of many examples in The Handmaid’s Tale of Offred having other people decide what she should do, what she should think, and how she should act.

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Luke vs. The Commander

My artwork is symbolizing how the Commander is replacing Luke in Offred’s life. Seeing as the Commander took her to the hotel where she would have affairs with Luke, I thought it was fitting to draw Offred looking at herself in the mirror side by side, the left being in “the time before,” and the right being in Gilead. Each quote I chose to put on either side of the mirror is significant in that it is her inner thoughts towards each man in these two periods of her life. The quotes highlight Offred’s cynicism, which only grew with her new role in Gilead, as a surrogate for the Commander’s Wife’s child. In the past, she was naive, and was only worried about whether or not Luke loved her, but now, she is thinking of the whole picture, and appears rather resigned about the whole thing.

I thought that each scene had an interesting parallel between the other, in that Offred is, in both cases, the mistress. Moira’s response highlights that aspect: “She disapproved of Luke, back then. Not of Luke but the fact that he was married. She said I was poaching, on another woman’s ground” (171). Offred’s response, however, was to defend Luke and his choices. This was an obvious indicator of her love for Luke. At that point, she didn’t care whether or not he was married, as long as he loved her and she loved him.

In Gilead, the Commander is someone she is serving, and this has led to an obvious power-dynamic that the Commander has been continually abusing to get Offred to fit the roles he wants her to. At first, they were playing Scrabble, and it was more of a transactional companionship. But now, the Commander has fully “corrupted” her, as Moira explains to Offred when they are in the break area: “your gang are supposed to be such chaste vessels. They like to see you all painted up. Just another crummy power trip” (243). The Commander did just that, dressing her up, exposing her skin and face to all at Jezebel’s, before having sex with her in the hotel, forcefully. This all corroborates the theory that the Commander follows a pattern of abuse of power towards the Handmaids in his service, that led the previous Handmaid to kill herself. The Handmaid’s warning, then, may be in reference to that pattern, as Offred asked for the meaning of the Latin phrase “nolites te bastardes carborundorum,” soon before being “invited” to Jezebel’s.

The difference in perspectives on being a mistress of the two men in her life during “the time before” and Gilead really highlight how much Offred has changed as a person due to the societal pressures of Gilead. She has clearly become much more cynical towards men, possibly as a result of her experiences at the Red Center, where she was taught that men are uncontrollable and that she and the other Handmaids need to have restraint. But the overall differences in treatment of Offred by both men who she is having an affair with further highlight the differences in “the time before” and Gilead that impact Offred and her physical and mental wellbeing directly.

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Artwork About The Wall

The artwork that I made is about when Offred and Ofglen visit the wall. I tried to combine both of the times they were there. The first time, Offer had oranges you could put inside her basket not being the primary point of attention but still there regardless just to remind you of their previous visit. I tried to make the artwork look like it is in the first person as if you were Offered seeing the dead person that you may or may not have known in your former life. What you can also see is a “J” on the person on the wall because in Handmaid’s Tale it says, “The body is marketed only with a J in red. It doesn’t mean Jewish.” I also believe that the first-person point of view allows you to feel like anyone can be on the wall and that it is just dumb luck that you are not up there as opposed to someone else. That line was the reason that I decided to make the artwork in the first place. When Offred told the reader that the J was not about Jews you can infer the lines of cruelty that Gilead has. There are many groups outside and inside of the umbrella of Christianity that you can’t pick one group and probably all of those groups have an equal chance to be stung up on the wall and killed. Also just how nonchalant the narrator describes how she knows what the symbols on the dead body mean is a reminder of just how bloodsoaked the society is. Another part of the work is that the sun is initially redder than the normal sun. I did this trying to show how much more bloody Gilead is than our normal day-to-day is. The sheet itself while not being fully accurate to how the people were in clothing while they were hung looks more like a ghost and of course, ghosts are dead just like the people on the wall. The reason this sense is important is that it shows how the people who were killed are not just some one-time occurrence and is in fact a common theme that happens many times in this society. This leads to the very calm attitude that is shown throughout the book about people being killed or kidnapped and just how calm and unresponsive society is to all of the necessary violence. In conclusion, the artwork is overall about how the society is bloody and that the people in the society are becoming more and more used to how the government is acting. The oranges are a rarity and are increasingly rare because of restrictions on the red light to the bloody attitude of the government. You are in the first person to put you in the frame of how Offred is and how that could affect you. Finally the J an unrepresented letter to show the cruelty of the government. This is what the piece is trying to get across to the viewer.

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Memories & Power

Survivor - 2WEI

Throughout the novel we see that Offred is a survivor, enduring the worst of situations and yet she never gives up. In the song “Survivor,” by 2WEI, they sing, “I’m a survivor. I’m not gon’ give up. I’m not gon’ stop. I’m gon’ work harder.” Similarly, in the book, we constantly see Offred continue to persevere through the world of Giliad no matter how bad the situation gets. Earlier on in the book, Offred is moved from the red center to the commander’s house. She is immediately met with Serena Joy who takes a quick dislike to her and wastes no time in showing Offred that she has power over her. The commander’s wife is not the only challenge that Offred now faces but she is also forced to be a handmaid. Whether she wants to or not, Offred is forced to have sex with the commander and ultimately bear his child, yet she perseveres. Later on in the book, the commander takes Offred to the club and at the end of the night expects her to have sex with him. When faced with this situation she thinks to herself, “let’s get this over with or you’ll be here all night. Bestir yourself. Move your flesh around., breathe audibly.” (255) It is evident from her thoughts that Offred has to talk herself into having sex with the commander because she clearly doesn’t want to. Offred has thought many times about giving up, killing herself, and never having to deal with this world again, but it is hope that motivates her to persevere. “Hope is rising in me, like sap in a tree. Blood in a wound. We have made an opening. I want to ask her if she’s seen Moira, if anyone can find out what’s happened to Luke, to my child, my mother even.” (169) Hope that she will one day be reunited with her family, that is what keeps her going. That is what makes her a survivor. One that will never give up.

Never Forget You - Zara Larsson

In the chorus of the song “Never Forget You,” by Zara Larsson, she sings, “I will never forget you. You will always be by my side. Since the day that I met you, I knew that I would love you ‘til the day I die.” This set of lyrics is portrayed perfectly by the way that Offred always remembers her family. Whether it is in her dreams, in a picture, or simply in her own thoughts she is constantly reminding herself of the ones she loves. The reader can see clear evidence of this after Moira escapes from the gymnasium. Not knowing whether Moira was alive or not or if she would ever see Moira again, Offred constantly thought about how Moira would react or respond to certain situations she found herself in. “Don’t think that way, Moira would say.” (85) “Moira was always more logical than I am.” (171) “Chickenshit, Moira would say.” (232) No matter what the circumstance was, if Offred was unsure or worried, she would almost always think about what Moira would encourage her to do. This demonstrates Offred’s true love for Moira and how Moira will always be by Offred’s side, even if she’s not physically there.

Dancing With Your Ghost - Sasha Alex Sloan

The song, “Dancing With Your Ghost,” describes the way Sloan dreams of being with someone she lost, singing, “every night I’m dancing with your ghost. I stay up all night tell myself I’m all right.” Similarly, in the book, Offred spends every night dreaming of being back with Luke or her daughter. In chapter 18, labeled ‘Night,’ Offred dreams of being with Luke saying, “Laying in bed, with Luke, his hand on my rounded belly.” (103) In the following chapter, Offred describes another dream saying, “I pick her up and feel arms and legs go around me and I begin to cry, because I know I am not awake.” (109) In each of these separate instances, Offred dreams of being with the family she has lost. While Sloan sings about dancing with the ghost of her lost loved one, Offred dreams of doing the most simple things like laying in bed with her husband and giving her daughter a hug. She has been denied physical touch for so long that these interactions are all she wishes to get from the family she’s lost.

In the song, Sloan goes on to sing, “I gotta move on but it hurts to try,” corresponding perfectly to Offred holding on to the past. She misses the life she had in the time before and wants more than anything to return to the life she had. However, as time goes on she is slowly starting to forget the memories she has from back then, “it’s my fault. I am forgetting too much,” (193) symbolizing that she is getting accustomed to her new life and unintentionally moving on. This brings her a great deal of pain as she values the memories of her family above all else, connecting back to the idea in the lyric that it hurts to move on.

Silence - Marshmello

The song “Silence,” by Maarshmello connects directly to Offred’s relationship with the commander. In the song, Marshmello sings, “I found peace in your violence. Can’t tell me there’s no point in trying.” This is perfectly demonstrated in the book as Offred has found slivers of peace in the commander that in her eyes, make him human. In the book, Offred recalls a documentary about World War 2 and the wife of a Nazi prison guard. She recalls the wife saying, “She did not believe he was a monster, he was not a monster to her. Probably he had some endearing trait.” (145) Offred goes on to say, “How easy it is to invent a humanity, for anyone at all. What an available temptation,” (146) acknowledging her own desire to find humanity in the commander despite his similarities with the nazi guard. While the guard enforced rules that punished and killed Jewish people, the commander enforces rules that punish and even led to the death of women, making them both monsters. Yet Offred at times, has been able to focus on the endearing trait of the commander, Scrabble, and thus sees him as human. Amongst all the agony and suffering he has caused for people in Giliad, Offred has found peace in his love for Scrabble, just like the lyric in the song.

Power - Kanye West

The song “Power,” by Kanye West contains lines that represent both sides of the social hierarchy in Giliad, perfectly displaying the polar opposite perspectives. Specifically towards the end of the song West says, “where you hiding? I got the power to make your life so exciting,” which is perfectly displayed in chapters 35-39 when the commander takes Offred to the club. Acting as though it is a treat for her and she should be grateful. We see evidence of this when the commander asks Offred, “enjoying yourself?” to which Offred says, “he wants me to. This is a treat after all.” (240) This demonstrates the commander’s self centered perspective as he believes that he is doing Offred a favor by sneaking her into the club when in reality, the only reason he brought her there is to use her for sex without Serena Joy having to be present. Moreover, this isn’t the first time the commander has ‘given’ Offred something only to expect something in return. Earlier in the book, the commander gives Offred hand lotion for her skin which he presents as a gift but in reality, the only reason he gave her the lotion is because he wants her to play Scrabble with him late at night. The commander sees himself as Offred’s savior, helping her by giving her a purpose and luxuries like the club and lotion when in reality, everything he does is only for himself.

Quickly after that initial line, West sings, “now this would be a beautiful death. I’m jumping out the window. I’m letting everything go.” This relates perfectly to the way the women see their lives in the new society. When we are first introduced to the red center, Offred describes all the changes made to the gymnasium, noting the removal of chandeliers and mirrors. She explains the removal of those items when she says, “It isn’t running away they’re afraid of. We wouldn’t get far. It’s those other escapes, the ones you can open in yourself given a cutting edge.” (8) This theme of suicide is brought up again when Moira is captured and was is being returned to the city. Moira said, “I did consider offing myself, and maybe I would have if there’d been anyway.” (248) This actively demonstrates that most of the women see death as a way out, an escape from the prison their lives have become the same way Kanye West said, “now this would be a beautiful death,” in the song. However, these quotes also show the lengths that the people in charge have gone to to ensure that these women don’t get the opportunity to escape. While men think of it as an exciting reward, women find it so horrible that they would almost prefer death.

Lit Log #2 Playlist

Girl Afraid—The Smiths

The song “Girl afraid” by the Smiths” is an overlooked gem within The Smiths catalog. Released in 1984 the song contains the trademarks of every song by the band at that time. From the up intricate guitar and moody singing typical of The Smiths. I would have never compared or drawn any parallels to this song and to “The Hands Maid Tale” until I delved deeper into the lyrics. The song details the miscommunication between a boyfriend and girlfriend, delving into their thinking. The lyrics of this song remind me of the relation between Offred and the commander as well as the relationship between Nick and Offred. In the first verse of this song Morrissey sings the words
“Where do his intentions lay? Or does he even have any?” This line reminds me of how Offred felt when the commander first started to take interest in her. After the verse in the first refrain another line sticks out to me. “In the room downstairs he sat and stared, In the room downstairs he sat and stared” This immediately reminds me of the scene in THT in which the commander entered Offred’s room and said nothing (chapter 8 page 49). Another line in the first verse stuck out to me. “He never really looks at me, I give him every opportunity” This line reminds me of Offred’s relation with Nick nearing the end of the book. The lovers’ relationship being strained and filled with miscommunication similarly to the boyfriend and girlfriend in the song. This line of the song especially reminds me of the scene at the end of chapter 36 where Nick refuses to meet eyes with Offred.

Naomi—Neutral Milk Hotel

Written and released in 1996 “Naomi” by Neutral Milk Hotel is a song of obsession. Originally written by Jeff Mangum, the song is about his obsession with Naomi Yang, a bassist of another band. The lyrics focus on the feeling of obsession and many angelic/religious themes remind me heavily of the relationship between the commander and Offred. One particular section of the song that sticks out to me. “I’m watching Naomi, full bloom”… “One billion angels come and hold her down They could hold her down until she cries” This line reminds me of the Commander’s desire for Offred but it being through his puritan view of the world. Not seeing her as a person but an experience. In chapter 129, he even hints as to thinking of Offred and the handmaid as nothing but pets. “If your dog dies get another”-187

While I’m Waiting—Fleeting joys

Released in 2006 “While Im Waiting” by Fleeting Joys is an incredibly emotional and melancholic song. With heavily distorted guitars and somber singing this song creates a deep sense of longing and was the first thing that came to my mind when doing this project. The song reminds me of Offred’s thoughts of Luke and her child.  With the song's one repeating lyric “I think I’ll let it go’’ that is broken up by a few lines. One line that made me think of Offred is. 

“So happy you’ll never come down, While I’m waiting, I want you” This line directly made me think about chapter 18 of The Hand Maid’s tale in which Offred imagines the different scenarios Luke could have been in after they parted ways. Doing this so nothing surprises her if she ever hears from Luke again thus the lyric “So happy you’ll never come down”.

Julie Profumo — Cleaners from Venus

This theme of trying to escape a bad situation no matter what is prevalent in The Handmaid’s Tale and there was only one song I could think of that represents this theme. Released in 1985 “Julie Profumo” by Cleaner from Venus is another melancholic and somber song I’ve added to this playlist. With lyrics that detail the singer leaving his home to go to England due to the changing times. With lyrics like “Time is racing, Shadows waiting” there is a great sense of urgency in this push for change. This song reminds me of Moira. Her being represented through the lyrics in the chorus. “Someday soon I will forget this junkyard”…”It’s a changing world and I can tell you one thing, Time is racing” Moira is constantly pushing for freedom from Gilead. From holding an aunt hostage and stealing the aunt’s clothing to escape to choosing to be a prostitute. Moira refuses to be stuck in the junkyard that is Gilead.

I Can See It (But I Can’t Feel It) — My Bloody Valentine

The last song in my playlist “I Can See It (But I Can’t Feel It)” By My Bloody Valentine has to be one of the most depressing songs I have on here. Released in 1988 this song is thought to be about someone who leaves their relationship with someone because they thought they were dragging the other person down. With very somber and sad singing with the jangly despondent guitars this song explores some very deep emotions. This song as a whole reminds me of the relationship between Offred and Luke. with the line “Don’t know when I will leave you again, Grab a reason, And I’m dragging you down” in the verse reminding me how before the present events of THT Luke and Offred were willing to make sacrifices for each other and their daughter. With the part of the song with the other part of the verse with the lyrics “Shot in the head I can see I can see it But I can’t feel it” Reminding me of Offred’s thought process on thinking of Luke (chapter 18). imagining him dead or imprisoned or making it to freedom so if she hears any bad news about him, she will feel nothing.

Connecting Memories To Present Suffering - Lit Log #2

Throughout the novel The Handmaid’s Tale there have been many themes of memories and how this can affect her present suffering and future. Offred the main character has been shown to be focusing on these happy memories but then relating it back to the present and where she is, what she has, and how this is impacting her emotional state. In chapter 35 she references the feeling of feeling erased and forgotten after seeing a picture of her daughter, that was brought by Serena Joy. The part of this section that resonates with me is the feeling that my birth mother could have gotten a picture of me and felt the same way. She gave up her child and I don’t know much about her. Slowly the thoughts of her have been going away. But the same goes for me. I have one single picture of my birth mother, one memory, one thought. But I know nothing more. The feeling of not knowing whether she remembers me feels bad, not wanting to be forgotten or erased. I want to be remembered for something she used to care about. Offred shared that she knows her daughter knows her mother isn’t there but she has been erased from this narrative. On page 228 she shares, “You can see it in her eyes: I am not there. But she exists, in her white dress. She grows and lives. Isn’t that a good thing? A blessing? Still, I can’t bear it, to have been erased like that. Better she’d brought me nothing.” Offred feels pain after being shown this photo. Clearly she sees her daughter growing up in a world without her in it. I am growing up in a world where I don’t see my birth mother either. She has given me away to some other lady but who I now call my mother.

Offred often speaks about how she wants to go back to how things were back then and how everything was generally better back then. She would wish everyday that when she’d go to bed that she’d wake up in her own house and everything would be back to the way it was. On page 199 she explains, “Every Morning when I go to bed I think, In the morning I will wake up in my own house and things will be back to the way they were.” Having these types of thoughts after some change in your life is not uncommon. I know when I was younger I would wish that things could change quickly. I have been separated from my mom twice when I was younger, not for long but around ten days. I remember missing her so much no matter the situation I was in I wanted to be at home with her. All I felt was sad. I wanted things to go back to how they were before I wasn’t with her then. I understand the feeling of wanting for things to go back to the way they were, especially if life was just really good back then and you were happy. The idea that resonates with me the most is how this is a constant thing everyday where she doesn’t want to be here and she wishes every night that she could just go back.

Throughout the novel of The Handmaid’s Tale there is a circling theme along with memories that speaks about having hope and then going into despair. Finding someone or something to give you hope but then realizing where you are and how life is going in the current moment. Currently she tries to sometimes escape from this world that she is in by going to her memories and past moments in life, which can be happy. To then relive these moments and forget about what is happening now in this new world and society. But then it’s this theme again where she pulls back from these memories and realizes she is back in this world of Gilead and nothing can take her back to this past world. For example again when she sees this picture of her daughter it can bring her back to the moments when she was with her and not in the moment where she is right now. When she lays in bed wishing she was back in her home before Gilead she can go back to the memories thinking about what life was like back then and how she felt when she was there back then. She had a family, a life. Now she is separated from them and can only think of them through the memories. The past memories are now contributing to her current suffering in this new world.

Patriarchy in the Rearview Mirror

I have portrayed Offred looking in the mirror at Jezebel’s. In my drawing she is looking at herself in the mirror in the room’s bathroom. We don’t see the front of her face in this drawing, we only see what she sees in the mirror. She looks disheveled and pale, and her makeup is running, as she describes in the book. (insert quote). Her hair is all over the place and the lingerie she is wearing is falling off of her shoulders due to how ill fitting it is. I made the bodysuit super sparkly or glittery because Atwood describes the look of it in detail, and Offred mentions what she is wearing a few times throughout the night.

I also made the background of the drawing all blue or white. The blue represents the sadness that Offred feels. That is only my interpretation because her feelings are sometimes unclear in the writing, but when I read I get a general melancholy feeling from our narrator. The emotion might not be sadness, but could be insecurity or longing, which are sad feelings to me.

The items that are dark blue (the washcloth, the soap bar, and the clock) are all items that Offred does not have access to inn Gilead, or at least not clear access. She points out the bar of soap and the washcloth, but she does not say that there is a clock in the bathroom. I added the clock because the commander is waiting outside for her to finish freshening up. Time is also an interesting concept in Gilead. “Time here is measured by bells, as once in nunneries” (8). Even when she is away from Gilead, there is still someone expecting her, someone waiting for her arrival.

I wanted to draw this scene because I think it is one of the most important and unique scenes in the book so far. There are no mirrors in the bathroom in Gilead because they don’t want people to be able to look at themselves, avoiding vanity from anyone. This is the first time that Offred gets a good look at herself since “the time before.” All she can do when she looks in the mirror is see her flaws and imperfections. Her makeup is smudged, her clothes don’t fit right, she’s got stray hairs flying everywhere. Gilead has taught her to cover up her imperfections, and to completely hide them so that she appears as a perfect doll for men to play with.

This idea rings so true to my life and my feminine experience. The patriarchy has somehow drilled into my brain that if I don’t have a button nose, if I don’t have a flat stomach, etc. then I am not good enough, or that lacking those qualities makes me less feminine, or less of a woman. Saying that outright sounds sort of insane, or cliche, but those are real insecurities that I have felt. It doesn’t really matter how much I try to unlearn this way of thinking, it stays with me.

So now put yourself in Offred’s shoes– you are living in a world just like ours, where white men have more privilege than anyone else, and where your mother is protesting every other day to have basic human rights for women. Then suddenly, you are pushed into a world where you cannot own anything of your own, and all you really have is your body, and if it betrays you, you are ostracized and sent to basically be a slave in the Colonies. I would probably be pointing out my flaws too.

Offred Looking in the Bathroom Mirror at Jezebel's
Offred Looking in the Bathroom Mirror at Jezebel's

Reflections of Gilead: Offred Through a Broken Mirror

IMG-1982
IMG-1982

The artwork I have chosen to create is inspired by Margaret Atwood’s dystopian novel “The Handmaid’s Tale”. The artwork captures the essence of the protagonist in the novel Offred, in a manner that encompasses her true internal conflicts and character development. The central theme of the artwork revolves around the impact of the theocratic, authoritarian society, Gilead, on Offred’s identity and the transformation of her life. In this image, Offred wearing a handmaid’s attire gazes into a shattered mirror that symbolizes the contrast between her life before and after Gilead’s rise as a society. The right half of the broken mirror represents Offred’s life before Gilead. This side has warm, vibrant colors, a significant contrast to the bleak, muted tones of the left half of the mirror. This half depicts her as a free woman, surrounded by her own reflection in various roles as a mother and an individual with a sense of self worth. The reflection of her daughter is very significant as it represents a major connection to her maternal identity and that contrasts the physical, enforced separation Gilead has bought. The left half of the mirror shows Offred as a handmaid staring emotionless into a faded photograph of her daughter. This side of the mirror reflects the profound impact of Gilead on Offred’s life. Her identity has been reduced to a role of a fertility vessel for the ruling class. She has been stripped of all individuality and personal agency. The choice to wear the red robe and white bonnet further illustrates the systematic suppression of identity and character. I chose to include a shattered mirror as it serves as a metaphor for the brokenness of Offred’s life and her fractured sense of identity. Gilead’s authoritarian rule has shattered the essence of her existence and has left her feeling trapped between two alternate worlds. The readers often witness her emotional journey and internal conflict when reflecting upon her past and present. The broken mirror also hints at a possible reconciliation between her past life and her present situation. The crack is noticeable and suggests that despite the harsh reality of Gilead, fragments of Offred’s past life will always linger. The faint image of her daughter in the photograph is a beacon of resilience and hope. It ultimately represents the determination and desire to reunite with her child. I tried to capture the essence of Offred’s character and the detrimental transformation she experienced in Gilead. This artwork has the potential to convey the physical and emotional trauma inflicted upon Offred but also highlights the theme of resilience and determination in individuals in the face of adversity and oppression.

Illusion of Choice

In chapter 11, Offred visits the hospital for her monthly check up. She is told that her time to have a child is beginning to run out. This is obviously because she is getting older and they believe she will soon no longer be able to have children. As the doctor is doing her check up, he comes close to the sheet over her face and whispers “I could help you”. This confuses Offred as she doesn’t know what he means. He mentions he has done it before and begins sliding his hand up her leg. This is a very uncomfortable chapter to read. Offred is very scared and doesn’t know what she is supposed to do. She declines his creepy offer and leaves the hospital feeling fear and confusion. The chapter ends with the line “It’s the choice that terrifies me. A way out, a salvation”.

I believe that this chapter, though short, connects to a much larger theme in the story. Later, the Commander and Offred have a debate about what love is. Offred questions why men did what they do, asserting power over women. The only purpose for women in Gilead is to have children and to be more traditional. The Commander tells her that men essentially just got bored of women and needed something else. They needed to be more powerful over women and show their masculinity.

The connection between these two is that love is an entirely lost concept for these men. There are no more slow burn relationships. There is no more time for these people to get to know each other, go out, or find out what kind of person they are with. The Commander believes that it is better this way as men were bored with doing that and needed to just get it over with. There is no happiness nor pleasure anymore in this society. The concept of consent is something that has been entirely erased. Women no longer have a choice on what happens to their bodies.

The ceremonies are times where the Commanders have sex with the handmaid’s to see if they bear children. Offred mentions that sex is no longer something that has meaning or any pleasure at all. It is a job now, one that she has no power or choice in. She says,”It has nothing to do with passion or love or romance or any of those other notions we used to titillate ourselves with”. She also says that orgasms are not thought necessary anymore. It is a completely pleasureless act for the women and does a lot of harm to them, both physically and mentally. She is not allowed to even look at the Commander. She is forced to have sex with him so that he gets a promotion from a kid she doesn’t get to keep nor name. Another part of the ceremony is that the Commander’s wife must be in the room while he is having sex with Offred. She is forced to hold Offred in her legs as her “husband” has sex with another woman so that she may have a child. When that child is born, it goes to the Commander’s wife, the handmaid has no control over this.

Consent, choice, and love are three major things that have been taken away from these women. The men essentially laugh in their faces about it, or are too numb to it to understand why there is an issue. The doctor offering his “services” to Offred and the ceremony with the Commander are the exact same thing. In both of these cases, she mentions having a choice. That idea of choice is a form of brainwashing put on these women. There really is no choice, regardless of what she feels. No matter what, she is going to be forced to have a baby with a man she does not love in a way that does not give her pleasure. On page 94, she says “Nor does rape cover it: nothing is going on here that I haven’t signed up for”. There was no way for her to sign up for this, this was going to happen regardless. The entire ceremony leads up to this, and the ceremonies are required. There was no choice nor a form of consent. Towards the end of chapter 39, the Commander begins to do the same thing as the doctor. He rubs his hand over her leg and she feels very scared about it. He starts taking their clothes off. She says, “I lie there like a dead bird”. The chapter ends with her reminding herself to fake the pleasure, as there will be none involved.

In conclusion, the men in Gilead have no care for these women. They don’t care about consent or what the women are actually feeling. They only care about themselves, their promotions, and the pleasures they feel. The women are left with nothing but pain and the faint hope that they have control over what happens to them.

The Window of God's House

The Republic of Gilead from The Handmaid’s Tale is an incredibly religious state based on a Christian theocracy. Christianity, being the largest religion that has ever existed, has had a massive influence on artistic media since its dawn. Christian themes appear in ancient both and modern literature, it has inspired great painted works such as the Sistine Chapel Ceiling, The Last Supper, or Raphael’s Transfiguration, and it is hard to escape the ever prevalent grasp of Christian music. However, possibly the most foundational form of the religion’s art is the churches themselves. In olden times and even today, such buildings were always the tallest and most impressive structures in every town. For my piece of art, I have created a stained glass window, a prominent feature in many churches across the world. Often, stained glass windows depict a message or story, which made them the most interesting things to look at in the more boring churches I attended in my childhood. And this is actually the point of these windows, they are meant to educate people on the holy scriptures, even if they can’t read. That is why symbolism is very important for this form of art. Symbolism is also prominent in The Handmaid’s Tale, the most important example being the ever watchful eye of God. This is the highlight of my window, a winged eye looking down upon the rest of the piece, shrouded in brilliant light and encircled by a halo. A common greeting in Gilead is “Under His Eye” and heaven, where God resides, is most often pictured above us. This made the placement for the eye at the top of the window very obvious. The smaller ones’ placement are more of a personal choice. They are the Eyes of God, or just the Eyes for short. The reason I placed them above the cloud layer that separates the Heaven portion and the Earth portion of the window is because the official term in the book reminded me of Seraphs, the highest order of angels and thus the closest to God. Seraphs are most easily recognized by their numerous wings and eyes, while the symbol for the Eyes is a winged eye. Their alien nature, both the Seraphs and the Eyes, is very prevalent as the closer an angel is to God, the less human they look and the Eyes are simply inhumane in the most literal sense. This is why I pictured them in Heaven. Down on Earth however, you can see two wives and a newborn child. The scene being depicted is the Birth Day, in which a Handmaid gives birth to an infant that is claimed by her commanding wife. The child is surrounded by a radiance, similar to the one pictured around God, a good time to mention how important light is in Christian culture and why these windows are so symbolic. The similar lights here show the connection between the child and God, the child a gift from God. The infant is at the center due to the importance of its birth as fertility rates have plummeted in the Gileadean Era. Because fertility is so important, below it is a circular chapel window design, but depicting a uterus. The uterus is an important symbol in The Handmaid’s Tale since that’s the reason why there’s handmaids at all: fertility. Offred talks about the organ throughout the book, imagining herself as flesh packed around it. The Aunts cannot stress how important it is while also diminishing the women they belong to, setting a single piece of them as the core of their beings. All that remains is that procreative fragment. Around the Uterus is a variety of colors. Colors are a very important piece of symbolism in cathedral windows as well as The Handmaid’s Tale. For example, red represents fertility and so I feature it extensively throughout the window. There’s God’s eye, the cloth the infant is wrapped in, and of course the Uterus. The colors around the uterus represent the different classes of Gileadean society. Black for the Commanders and Angels who wear black and represent strength, blue for their wives as it is shown they can command the classes below them, green for Guardians and Marthas who both wear green uniforms, and the handmaids at the bottom. They are red because they are the most important, and the lowest because they possess the least power. In my window too, the handmaids are at the lowest point. Hidden by a dark curtain, they stand and kneel silently. They are not the focus. The child and God are. The red child stands out among the blue wives. It is not theirs. But the one it belongs to is not important enough.

The Window of God's House
The Window of God's House

The Mood Playlist

Chapter 9 (page 51): Waterfalls (1) by James Quinn

“I was nervous. How was I to know he loved me? It might be just an affair. Why did we ever say just?… The knock would come at the door; I’d open, with relief, desire. He was so momentary, so condensed. And yet there seemed no end to him. We would lie in those afternoon beds, afterwards, hands on each other, talking it over. Possible, impossible. What could be done? We thought we had such problems. How were we to know we were happy?” In this portion of the book, Offred was reciting a memory she had with Luke, a memory about their love and relationship. Offred would typically reminisce about the past since that was all she had and something that couldn’t be taken from her. I would believe that she’s lonely and has this emptiness within her because of how little affection is shown in Gilead. In the song, “Waterfalls” by James Quinn, he captures this sort of sorrowful feeling in the notes he plays. But also captures the feeling of happy, nostalgic moments in life. The beginning of the song really captures when Offred says, “I was nervous. How was I to know he loved me? It might be just an affair. Why did we ever say just?… The knock would come at the door; I’d open, with relief, desire.” Just the fast-paced intro shows the number of thoughts spilling thoughts throughout Offred’s mind, contemplating her relationship with Luke, seeing if their relationship even meant anything to Luke. But as you continue to listen to the song, there comes a time when it quickens but slows down right after, representing the many ups and downs of Offred and Luke’s relationship. But also at the end of the quote, “We would lie in those afternoon beds, afterwards, hands on each other, talking it over. Possible, impossible. What could be done? We thought we had such problems. How were we to know we were happy?”

Chapter 12 (pages 63-64): Mia and Sebastian’s theme song (2) by Justin Hurwitz

“I step into the water, lie down, let it hold me. The water is soft as hands. I close my eyes, and she’s there with me, suddenly, without warning, it must be the smell of the soap. I put my face against the soft hair at the back of her neck and breathe her in, baby powder and child’s washed flesh and shampoo, with an undertone, the faint scent of urine. This is the age she is when I’m in the bath. She comes back to me at different ages. This is how I know she’s not really a ghost. If she were a ghost she would be the same age always… She fades, I can’t keep her here with me, she’s gone now. Maybe I do think of her as a ghost, the ghost of a dead girl, a little girl who died when she was five.” In this portion of the book, Offred is bathing herself. But as she bathes herself, she reveals to the readers that the smell of the soap reminds her of her daughter. Saying the little details that she remembered she had with her daughter, before being taken away from her. In the song “Mia and Sebastian’s Theme Song” by Justin Hurwitz, the song starts off slow and calming, this being the moment where Offred recognizes the smell. But as the song progresses, it becomes more aggressive and hard hitting, representing how much she thinks about her daughter, always coming back “at different ages” each time. Ending the song, it ends quite abruptly, like how Offred shamelessly adds that maybe her daughter is a ghost, the ghost of a dead girl, a little girl who died when she was five.”

Chapter 13 (pages 74-75): Jacob and the Stone (3) by Emile Mosseri

“I’m running, with her, holding her hand, pulling, dragging her through the bracken, she’s only half awake because of the pill I gave her, so she wouldn’t cry or say anything that would give us away, she doesn’t know where she is… I can hear the bells even, sleigh bells from the radio, old music, but through this window I can see, small but very clear, I can see her, going away from me, through the trees which are already turning, red and yellow, holding out her arms to me being carried away.” In this portion of the book, Offred is remembering when everything changed in her life––she gets separated from Luke, and her daughter gets stripped away from her. At this point Offred’s life was gonna change forever, all the pieces of her past life were ripped away from her. She was now just a normal woman in other people’s view, not a mother, not a wife, but just a handmaid. In the song, “Jacob and the Stone” by Emile Mosseri, it’s very angelic-like. It sounds as if you would enter heaven and the choir of angels starts playing for you as you walk through the gates. This dramatic piece just makes me imagine how this scene would play out; the music comes in, as Offred’s daughter is “holding out her arms to me being carried away.” I imagine that this scene is gonna be in slow motion to really capture the last moments she had with her daughter. Also, the little moments where Offred captures these hypersensitivities to the colors of the leaves and sounds around her, make me believe how tired she was from running, and how her paranoia made her imagine “sleigh bells from the radio, old music [playing]…”

Chapter 17 (page 98): Love (4) by Keyshia Cole

“He steps towards me. Nick. ‘What are you doing here in here?’ I don’t answer. He too is illegal, here, with me, he can’t give me away. Nor I him; for the moment we’re mirrors. He puts his hand on my arms, pulls me against him, his mouth on mine, what else comes from such denial? Without a word. Both of us shaking, how I’d like to…My hand goes down, how about that, I could unbutton, and then. But it’s too dangerous, he knows it, we push each other away not far. Too much trust, too much risk, too much already.” In this portion of the book, Offred wanted to press a flower under her mattress for another handmaid to possibly find, like how she found the Latin etching in her closet, “Nolite te bastardes carborundorum.” So she went into the sitting room to find a flower but felt another presence with her, which was Nick. Sensing the tension between Nick and Offred, Nick makes the first move and kisses her on the lips, and they stay there for a bit. Before pushing “each other away not far. Too much trust, too much risk, too much already.” It seems a spark had been lit between two dead flames. In the song, “Love” by Keyshia Cole, the lyrics, “Love, Never knew what I was missin’, But I knew once we start kissin’, I found, found you, Now you’re gone, what am I gonna do?” I feel that those lyrics just interpreted what happened in that sensual scene. “Love, Never knew what I was missin’,” made me think that Offred felt this sense of rebellion kissing someone that wasn’t Luke and just going against Gilead’s system. “But I knew once we start kissin’, I found, found you, Now you’re gone, what am I gonna do?” Since this kiss, there has always been this awkward tension between Offred and Nick when they cross paths, a tension of desire to continue what they stopped.

Chapter 24 (pages 146-147): Asleep among Endives (5) by Ichiko Aoba

“I stifle it in the folds of the hanging cloak, clench my eyes, from which tears are squeezing. Try to compose myself. After a while it passes, like an epileptic fit. Here I am in the closet. Nolite te bastardes carborundorum. I can’t see in the dark but I trace the tiny scratched writing with the ends of my fingers, as if it’s a code in Braille. It sounds in my head now less like a prayer, more like a command; but to do what? Useless to me in any case, an ancient hieroglyph to which the key’s been lost. Why did she write it, why did she bother? There’s no way out of here. I lie on the floor, breathing too fast, then slower, evening out my breathing, as in Exercises, for giving birth. All I can hear now is the sound of my own heart, opening and closing, opening and closing, opening.” In this portion of the book, Offred is exhausted from helping with the process of a handmaid, Janine, giving birth. So she goes back to her room to “… compose myself.” In the song, “Asleep among Endives” by Ichiko Aoba, the lyrics, “At the edge of the world, listen to the galaxy, A gentle breeze, a gentian shining on my ankles.” As Offred, lay “on the floor, breathing too fast, then slower, evening out my breathing…” makes me think that she is just trying to calm after the amount of adrenaline that was coursing through her. She lays on the floor as this calming song fits with the mood she’s feeling.

Music: (1) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=io8w2qusfXw

(2) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D3ovuBdbUqk

(3) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mbm3Llu2114

(4) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wZaotY2V3gY

(5) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9aED02XuLwo

Offred's Soundtrack

Falling By Harry Styles

The lines “What am I now? What am I now?” and “I get the feeling that you’ll never need me again” connect to the way Offred feels as a handmaid: useless. She isn’t needed for anything other than her womb, and if she can’t have a baby she’ll never be needed for anything. “I want to be valued in ways that I am not; I want to be more than valuable. I repeat my former name, remind myself of what I once could do, how others saw me.” (pg 97) She feels like her new name doesn’t represent who she truly is, and associates her former one with freedom and possibility. As someone who isn’t valued in Gilead, Offred feels invisible, but often mentions the people who truly aren’t talked about: the Unwomen. When they are sent off to the colonies, nobody speaks of them again. This idea relates to the line “What if I’m someone you won’t talk about?” She doesn’t want to end up in the Colonies because it means she’ll be forgotten.

Mind Over Matter By Young the Giant

This song makes me think of sitting in your room staring at a wall contemplating life, which is how Offred spends most of her time. On page 105 she asks, “Does he know I’m here, alive, that I’m thinking about him? I believe so.” She knows that she must have hope in order to make it through the situation she’s in. As the song says, “Mind over matter, does it matter to any of us?” Offred focuses on staying alive and holding onto hope, even though the odds of having a happy ending are not in her favor. She stays alive partially because she can’t kill herself and partially because she believes that Luke may come back into her life someday, somehow. Ordinarily, she wouldn’t think that way, she’d be more logical, but by putting mind over matter she pushes logic to the side in order to stay sane.

Out of my League By Fitz and The Tantrums

This song’s upbeat melody and quick tempo make it a good representation of the before times described by Offred, the times she had with Luke. The lyrics “Cause you were out of my league, all the things I believed, you were just the right kind, yeah you were more than just a dream” are similar to Offred’s thoughts about Luke. On page 121, she explains the dynamic he had with her mom, whose way of speaking often got on her nerves. “He didn’t mind, he teased her by pretending to be macho, he’d tell her women were incapable of abstract thought and she’d have another drink and grin at him.” Luke’s ability to handle- even entertain- Offred’s mother showed her that he was a keeper. Another line from Out of my League reads “If I die, don’t wake me ‘cause you are more than just a dream.” Not wanting to live without Luke is one of the major things Offred struggles with in the book.

Night Changes By One Direction

While listening to this song, I noticed the line “Going out tonight, changes into something red. Her mother doesn’t like that kind of dress, reminds her of the missing piece of innocence she lost.” It directly voices Offred’s thoughts about her daughter and coincidentally talks about wearing a red dress, which is what the handmaids are forced to wear. Offred, as a mother, doesn’t like the dress and constantly talks about it being too hot or restricting. She also lost her innocence to the system attached to the red dress, as she was pretty young when she was taken to the Center. The song says, “We’re only getting older, baby. And I’ve been thinking about it lately, does it ever drive you crazy just how fast the night changes?” This connects to the way her daughter is growing up without her, and time is passing more quickly than she can believe. On page 228, Offred finally gets to see a picture of her daughter. “My treasure. So tall and changed… Time has not stood still. It has washed over me, washed me away.”

Set Fire to the Rain By Adele

“My hands, they were strong, but my knees were far too weak to stand in your arms without falling to your feet. But there’s a side to you that I never knew, never knew.” This portion of the song made me think of the way Offred views the Commander. She doesn’t quite know how to deal with him, whether she’s manipulating him or whether he’s manipulating her, but at the end of the day he has power over her. After she’d visited him several times in his office, she started to see another side of him, the “silly” side. “His face is a little flushed. I try to estimate how many he’s had… Behind this act of his I sense embarrassment.” (pg 229) When the Commander drinks, it becomes even more obvious that he’s kind of just a regular guy. Even though he’s in a position of power, he isn’t all-knowing, particularly wise, or anything of the sort.

THT Lit Log #2

The paragraph I wanted to focus on comes from Chapter 34. On page 219 in the middle, it opens with “We’ve given them more than we’ve taken away, ” said the Commander, “Think of the trouble they had before. Don’t you remember the singles bars, the indignity of the high school blind dates? The meat market. Don’t you remember the terrible gap between the ones who could get a man easily and the ones who couldn’t? Some of them were desperate, they starved themselves thin or pumped their breasts full of silicone, and had their noses cut off. Think of the human Misery.”

There’s a lot to take in from just that small little paragraph, but I think some really key things are “ We’ve given them more than we’ve taken away”. “Some of them we desperate, they starved themselves thin or pumped them full of silicone.” The first line makes me think about all the different real-world aspects like taking natural resources or destroying the climate that we have taken from society. I think these ideas come from the Commander because he feels the need to use his authority to oppress women and be in power. I see these ideas paralleled in our society today through things like plastic surgery and eating disorders. The use of imagery on social media has also influenced it in a huge way as well. To a further extent, the Commander sees it as an opportunity to be a doctor or surgeon in the story, and the women and their bodies are his patients that he can make “perfect” in his vision.

Additionally, another way I specifically said this line was, “Don’t you remember the single bars, the indignity of the high school blind dates”. It makes me think back to “simpler times” or “life before covid” in a way. These ideas come from the Gileadian concept of a patriarchal society and familial structure. The Commander’s role and behaviors have clear parallels to today’s retrenchment of women’s health rights and control of their bodies. Ironically, the same evangelical forces that we see guiding Commander are present today in the positions of many politicians. When I read the entry “We’ve given them more than we’ve taken away”, in the context of the children of Ham and being a person of color this particular passage resonated with me because of the current rollback of diversity, equity, and inclusion initiatives across this country. I find them problematic because I find the character Offred to be nothing more than an indentured concubine. Atwood wrote it this way I believe, because she envisioned how theology would mix and then overtake democratic institutions. This environment is found the perfect breeding ground for many of the ideas that foster the creation of Gilead.

Additionally, I think Atwood writes the text in the way she does to address the issues in society in her own unique way. As we know the author uses the commanders as a symbol of power in the book, and, specifically, how those in power are often able to break the rules they set without repercussions. The character of the Commander also demonstrates how appearances are deceptive: those who advocate for and benefit from the oppression of others are often unassuming. We see many examples in the real world of individuals or groups that act just like the Commanders. We can take politicians and wealthy people. Donald Trump for example who has had 4 indictments has been able to avoid the repercussions of the law. He was directly responsible for what happened on January 6th and had received no offenses from the law. These ideas had the power to create Gilead because I think Atwood either envisioned or already thought something like Gilead become true. Gilead is an authoritarian state that limits freedom, suppresses opposition, and maintains control over information. This reflects how authoritarian regimes have utilized propaganda, censorship, and repression to maintain power throughout history. narrative includes elements of historical oppression and women’s treatment throughout history. It makes references to the Salem witch trials, in which women were systematically demonised, informed on, and violently punished for being ‘different’ to puritanical norms. the suffrage movement, and the status of women in diverse societies. reflection on how historical circumstances can inform and affect current situations. which is another reason I believe Atwood writes her texts the way she does. To close out I found that from this chapter in general was very interesting in terms of the ways that Offred talks about her relationships and how she deals with love. The comparisons we can draw between the book and gender roles, hierarchy, etc are none less.

Gilead's Soundtrack

Don’t Stop Believin’ - Journey
While this song has a level of positivity to it that Offred’s situation doesn’t, its name, which is repeated multiple times throughout the song, connects so well to Offred’s situation that I chose to include it. In many aspects of her life, Offred has continued to believe, and that belief seems to be what keeps her motivated. An example of this is Offred’s hope that Luke is still alive. On page 166, when she passes The Wall with Ofglen she says “When I can see the bodies, the actual bodies, when I can guess from the sizes and shapes that none of them is Luke, I can believe also that he is still alive.” Without this belief that her loved ones are somehow okay, Offred might very well lose her will to live given how horrible her situation is. For this reason, “Don’t stop believin” is a phrase that describes a crucial aspect of Offred’s life in Gilead. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1k8craCGpgs

Here - Alessia Cara
I chose this song because it has strong similarities to Offred’s experience at Jezebel’s. The song is about someone who is at a party, but doesn’t want to be, and includes lines such as “I’m sorry if I seem uninterested / Or I’m not listenin’ or I’m indifferent / Truly, I ain’t got no business here,” and “But really I would rather be at home all by myself not in this room / With people who don’t even care about my well being” These lines seem to relate to Offred’s sense of being out of place at Jezebel’s. For example on page 240, Offred describes her attempt to meet Moira in the bathroom saying, “ I get up, wobble across the room. I lurch a little, near the fountain, almost fall. It’s the heels… Several of the men look at me, with surprise. I think rather than lust. I feel like a fool.” This quote shows how different Jezebel’s is to Offred’s typical environment and I think her feeling of discomfort in this moment relates to the emotions expressed in “Here.” https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UKp2CrfmVfw

Cold - Maroon 5
I chose this song because I saw a strong connection between it and the Commander and Serena Joy’s relationship. The song describes a relationship in which the singer Adam Levine, and the subject of the song have drifted apart. Adam Levine sings that he feels that the subject of the song is “cold” towards him. While Margaret Atwood hasn’t revealed the details of the Commander and Serena Joy’s relationship before Gilead, coldness has certainly become a central theme in their relationship at the time in which the book is written. One example of this is at the beginning of the Ceremony when Offred says, “The Commander knocks at the door. The knock is prescribed: the sitting room is supposed to be Serena Joy’s territory, he’s supposed to ask permission to enter it. She likes to keep him waiting. It’s a little thing, but in this household little things mean a lot.” (86) Petty displays of power, such as Serena Joy’s behavior in this quote, do not indicate a happy relationship, which is why “Cold” is a fitting song to describe their marriage. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XatXy6ZhKZw

Somebody to Love - Basstrologe
I chose this song because it repeats the lines “Don’t you want somebody to love?; Don’t you need somebody to love?; Wouldn’t you love somebody to love?; You better find somebody to love.” This relates to The Handmaid’s Tale, because one of the biggest things missing from everyone’s lives seems to be loving relationships. For example, when the Commander secretly meets with Offred to play Scrabble for the first time and asks her to kiss him, she does so, but then he says, “Not like that. As if you mean it.” (140) To me this shows the Commander wants to convince himself that there is some real connection between himself and Offred, when in reality, that is impossible given the fact that she is essentially his slave. I think that this is a reflection of the loneliness that all of the characters feel due to the lack of real relationships in Gilead. Despite all the power the Commander has, all of his relationships seem to be defined by the rules of Gilead: none of them are natural or based on emotion. I think that this is Margaret Atwood’s way of making a point very similar to the idea that “Don’t you need somebody to love.” https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tRLRymTR_rA

How Long - Charlie Puth
While “Cold” relates to Serena Joy’s relationship with the Commander in general, I think that “How Long” connects to the impact that the Commander’s secret meetings with handmaid’s has on Serena Joy. This is a song about cheating in a relationship. In the song, Charlie Puth sings, “How long has this been goin’ on? / You’ve been creepin’ ‘round on me / While you’re callin’ me ‘Baby.’” Atwood doesn’t tell the reader exactly how Serena Joy reacted when she found out that the last handmaid was secretly meeting the Commander. However, when the Commander is telling Offred what happened to the handmaid on page 187, Atwood does write, “‘She hanged herself,’ he says; thoughtfully not sadly… ‘Serena found out,’ he says, as if this explains it. And it does.” This quote at the very least implies that Serena Joy had a strong reaction when she discovered the meetings, which may have driven the handmaid to kill herself. This relates to “How Long” because while the Commander might not have been cheating on Serena Joy in the traditional sense, he was “creepin’ ‘round” on her. Gilead has already stripped away most of the meaning from the Commander and Serena Joy’s marriage, and then the Commander lied to her and broke rules that seem to matter to her. This means that it wouldn’t have been unreasonable for her to have felt as much pain as one would feel from being cheated on in the way that Puth describes. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CwfoyVa980U